My mother is dead 1 year today?

Question

anyone have any advice, as to how this will ever become easier.

My father died when I was 13 years old, he is gone now 31 years.

Answer 1

I feel SO SORRY, for your loss! So much so, that, - right NOW, - I just want to give you a HUG!

I have begun to think, of how I felt, on the first anniversary of my FATHER'S death, - some 18+ years ago, - and, - as I THOUGHT they would, - TEARS have welled in MY EYES! It was an AWFUL time, - I felt so SAD, and LONELY, - as if there was NOBODY, who would UNDERSTAND, how I FELT! But, I realised, that my Father's death had affected MORE than just ME, - so, I turned to the remaining members of my family, - and, my BEST FRIEND, - THEY were a GREAT help, - they just LISTENED, - but, that's ALL they could DO! They were "THERE" for me, - and, THAT was what I NEEDED!

There is NO MIRACLE CURE, for how much, this IS hurting you, - and, I'm AFRAID, that there NEVER WILL BE, - but, - with TIME, - believe me, - you WILL start to feel better! You will, - in time, - FORGET all of the "BAD" things, - and, you will REMEMBER, just the "GOOD", - and "HAPPY" times, that you shared with your Mum!

Answer 2

I asked a similar question about whether anyone had lost both their parents. My father died when I was 5 and my mother when I was 19 and I have no brothers or sisters. I got the following reply back which I really appreciated:

I lost my mom when I was 8 years old. I'm 71 and I still miss her and the mother daughter relationship that is so important for ever girl.

My father was always working. More like a workaholic.
He died after I married. I miss him too.

I am very independent because of it and I bet you are too.
When you don't have both parents, you have to grow up fast.

I can identify with your situation and feel your pain.

I would like to share a poem that comforts me concerning their death.

Don’t cry at my grave , cause I won’t be there.
I’ll be in the breeze ,that ruffles your hair.
I’ll be in the sunshine. I’ll be in the snow.
I’ll be in the places, that we use to go.
Ill be in your laughter and in funny things.
I’ll be in your shadow and there in your dreams.
I’ll be in your greetings but not your goodbyes.
I’ll be in the reflection, of your loving eyes.
I’ll always be with you and I’ll always care.
Don’t cry at my grave side cause I won’t be there.

Do what you have to do and do the best you can to the best of you ability. Be all you can be.

Forgive the past and yourself and take each day as it comes at you and you will be okay.

Answer 3

This is how I have heard it explained to the son of a friend whose partner died when he was young.

When someone dies we can think of our grief as a big ball and life as a jar. We think at the time 'However shall I get my grief to fit into my small life? It's just too big'!

We imagine that with time, the grief will shrink and it will fit into out lives better, until it just rattles around like a marble, unnoticed in a corner.

This doesn't happen. The ball of grief stays the same size for all time.

The only way to accept it is to make the jar of our lives bigger. Love, friendship and work can all help to do this.

It is right to mourn. But please take time to live as well.

I hope that you find comfort in the answers here.
.

Answer 4

Sorry for your mom; I lost my mom too, 10 years ago, when I was 8 months pregnant, so I know the pain; however, what I always did and still do, in such days as well as in any other day, is to remember all the good things she taught me, all the happy moments we shared, all the smiles..I talk about her very often, and that makes me miss her less; use today as an opportunity to fill the emptiness in your heart with those happy memories, with thse smiles, and you'll feel better.

Answer 5

my father died nearly 11 years ago at the young age of 55 there is no rule of thumb ,write letters to your mum in a special book tell her how you are feeling it is the way i learnt to cope with the loss of a parent you will get through it but it will take time and you will come out the other side a better and stronger person and do not forget your mum may not be here in body but she is always in your heart god bless good luck xxxxx

Answer 6

my friends son died and she lost her father and mother years ago, and when her son died she said that is a more closer to home never ending pain than her mom and dads was,why? any time you lose a loved one, all of its pain full, you have to just live with it the best and only way you can, just do not let it get to you, as we all must of been left to live for a plan or reason, and so we do the best we can:

Answer 7

I feel for you, I lost my father and it came one year in January. It just kinda tapers away, but you never forget about it, but it does become easier. It's never really easy but if you find yourself really upset and you cant get around it, go see a doctor or get some counciling, sometimes that may help also.

Answer 8

There is nothing anyone can tell you that will make things any easier. In time you will be able to look back with loving memories and its those that will help you. I have not known anything as hard as to losing someone close to you. Thoughts are with you.

Answer 9

I'm sorry for your loss and I can only imagine what you're going through. I know that a year seems like no time at all. If I were a spiritual person I would say that you're in my prayers - I don't know how else to say it without sounding weird.

Answer 10

Sorry, wish I had an answer, I lost my dad 18 months ago and still finding it very hard to come to terms with it, I am feeling it gets harder as time goes on, grief takes along time to come to terms with, I just like to think that he is still with us in spirit and he is at peace, I also know I will always carry his love in my heart and I have so many happy memories of him, try to rememer the happy times, sending lots of hugs to you from haggis basher.