It is not your beauty , that i like in you,
It is not your eyes , that are so bright,
It is not your walk , that is so divine,
It is not your innocense , that opens my eyes wide,
It is not your talk , that makes me to sigh,
It is not your fragrance , that lifts me upto the sky,
It is not your looks , that can kill so quick,
It is not your sweetness , that makes my heartbeat skip,
It is just YOU that i like, for reasons only God can tell you why !
2007-03-20 22:14:28 · 17 answers · asked by sting 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've rated poetry before and as poems go this one seems fairly good to me.
You have a few errors in grammar and spelling but overall, the poem does speak to the reader.
Out of a five star rating, I'd give this one a 4 due to the errors in spelling and grammar.
Clean it up and you have a nice, heartfelt poem here.
Here's an example:
It isn't just beauty that I see in you,
Nor your lovely eyes with their tempting hue,
It isn't your walk, though it is devine,
It isn't your innocense that's opened my eyes,
It isn't your speech that makes me sigh,
It isn't your fragrance that lifts me high.
It isn't your looks that can so quickly kill,
Nor the sweetness of you that makes my heart still,
It's the you that's inside that caught my eye,
The reason? Only God could tell you why.
This is what I meant by better grammar and spelling. I hope it helps.
If you plan to give this to someone you are interested in, I'd say do it. You've written a nice poem with heartfelt words that should be shared. Either way, keep up the good work and enjoy your writing. : )
2007-03-20 22:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... Check some of the spelling and grammar, and it may be a little corny. But to be honest, if you were to give this to someone they would be happy. If it's sincere then the person receiving the poem will not be looking for spelling mistakes! :)
2007-03-21 05:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by JC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word "not" jumps out. Isn't very good writing at all. Doesn't send a positive message. Did you write this yourself?
2007-03-21 05:23:02 · answer #3 · answered by Phillip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best
The girl / boy for whom u have written will really fallen in love with u
Best of luck
2007-03-21 05:20:34 · answer #4 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Done!
Keep writing!
2007-03-21 05:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent.. You have good potential in poems.. Go for it.. write more.
2007-03-21 05:17:50 · answer #6 · answered by AdultMale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute, innocent and sweet.
2007-03-21 06:19:14 · answer #7 · answered by Deepest Blue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really wrote it, Then its Awesome but if you found it on the web--Lameoooo
2007-03-21 05:23:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm calling for a standing ovation!
That was great!
2007-03-21 05:19:35 · answer #9 · answered by stevieglenwright 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good, now give it to some hot chick.
2007-03-21 05:19:01 · answer #10 · answered by rwhz199 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋