My BF and I been in a long distance relationship for almost 4 years & that distance has ruined everything that I have built with him(I believe so).The devastating part is when he declared break up not long after he came over to meet me and everything was fine then.Not a hint that he was leaving me. Came New Year 2006 he said that he couldnt continue wit the relationship.I blamed myself for not being there for him in the past 4 years and that has changed our love.Shocking to me,the whole reason for the break up was not as what I thought.He actually have had some flings and things went really bad... Even after he had put me down so badly I still pine for him.I cant think of another man replacing him.I do go out and do activities and meet new guy friends but I just cant bring myself further.I keep thinking of him and at times call him (which he doesn't favour).Whenever there are guys giving attention more than I expect,I get scared and run away.I am still hoping that he would come back.
2007-03-20 21:02:18 · 9 answers · asked by dancing_queen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, you really need to get over this guy. I bet he was your first love? Didnt you feel hurt that he had flings while you were in the relationship? This should have been enough for you to lose your feelings for him. You need to have a fling yourself, sori if this seems cold but the best way to get over someone is to find someone else. Im not saying go to bed with them, just let someone else tempt you, perhaps kiss them and pay attention to the advances they make. Your ex doesnt want you and you are only hurting yourself, try to move on. Time is precious, 9 yrs is along time and you arent getting any younger, dont let another 9 yrs pass before you find someone else to love. Start to love yourself, I bet you dont... and you need to make small changes in your life so that you change. I wish you courage.
2007-03-20 21:12:35 · answer #1 · answered by gudsport 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh you sound just like me! i was in a long distance relationship for 6 1/2 years i had no clue he was going to break it off but i went to NZ on a holiday for a week in jan for New years 2007 this year and he ignored me the whole time no calls nuthin when i got back he continued to ignore me then sent an email breaking up with me saying he needs a more simplistic life that hes not living a life that's him and all this crap when the whole time he was promising me that he would move here to be with me. He went back on all his promises, he even told me he had bought an engagement ring and was going to propose! So he has cut off alll contact i didnt even get to confront him because he dumped me through an email after 61/2 years we were sooo close i thought nothing could break us he told me he'd never break up with me we had a lot of problems because of the distance but all of that was to go away when he moved here but he ended it without giving it a chance and now i miss him soooo bad im still madly in love with him i just wanna talk to him 1 last time he never gave me the chance to say anything after that email and when i try to meet new guys i freak out because i tell myself i need someone because i feel so lonely and need someone to fill the void but then i realise they're not him and i compare them all to him and i just don't have the desire to be with them despite how lonely i feel. I've been really strong and just havent tried contacting him for a month or so now, earlier i would keep calling and leaving messages and voice mail but he ignored them all. I can't do anything to change whats happened no matter how hard that is. All you can do is try to forget him and find other things to distract you. Think of all the negative things he did to you and ask yourself do you deserve to be treated that way. You don't. Don't let a guy rule your life. He was a prick for cheating on you. Don't rush yourself into finding someone new just live your life and if something happens one day and it feels right u will know it's the right time to move on. I hope that happens for the both of us! Good Luck
2007-03-20 21:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by allie84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor dear. I know how you felt. Trust me, i've gone thru this type of relationship and the rejection truly hurts.
What can u do now, is not to go out and socialize with all the guys. U need to let go and time does help to immunize your feeling towards the 9 yr guy.
I also went thru the sudden breakoff, cause the guy got other fling. I was hurt, and kept on wondering, what did i do wrongly to deserve the breakoff. Is it that i didn't spend enuf time with him ? Was it that, i couldn't be with him when he needs me ? Or i am not good enuf for him ?
Knowing the answer are not answerable, i need to accept the facts. It tooks me 1 yr ++ b4 i met my current bf. I used to date frequently to proof that i still got lots of choice to show my ex-bf that i am still attractive. Alas, the more i date, the more i miss him. He can't be compared to other guy. Even the guy can sense that i date them just to proof something, and not because i truly like them enuf to date.
In the end, i ended up that kind of dating, and use my work to immune my heartache. Of course i owe the healing process towards my frens. I am happy to tell you that, i do have a great bunch of frens, that will help me from where i fall.
2007-03-20 21:15:13 · answer #3 · answered by stormymy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When do you think your going to be done punishing yourself? For something that YOU really weren't completely at fault for? It takes 2 to make a relationship! So, if you thought it was YOUR fault for not being their for him, who was supposed to be their for YOU? Or weren't you worth it? Do you see where I am going with this? You are suffering from the awful pain of REJECTION my dear. Hurts doesn't it? It's probably the number one pain of all time! Since you were in that relationship (sort of) for 9 years, you had a way of life going for you. But you really didn't have a functional relationship! You realize that, don't you? So it's time, time to let go! Work on your self-esteem-and confidence, your just scared of being hurt again. You just had a huge taste of life, we all do!! But don't stop living because of some jerk! Get out there and test the water! You gotta be worth to yourself!! Keep telling yourself that. It's that dude's loss. And lose is number!! Your just looking like a fool!!!! I wish you well. Be strong!!
2007-03-20 21:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i might write, costly self, Spend extra time with your grandmother, and visit her domicile for her birthday, you selfish little punk. supply up being shy, make friends and shop them. shop all you funds, in no way spend it. have faith me, you will choose it down the line. cut back your temper, and shop your mouth closed. do no longer corrupt your concepts; shop it harmless, and in no way yell at your mom and father. don't be lazy; get your self off the mattress. preclude Dave from attempting suicide, and get Beth into extra outfits. tell mom and pa to no longer spend plenty sooner or later, in the different case they gained't have something for retirement. supply up feeling sorry for your self; that's no longer as undesirable as you think of. Self-pity brings self-worthlessness. in no way supply people the delight of understanding that they harm you, so do no longer cry in front of persons. supply up thinking the international revolves around you, because of the fact God is acquainted with it would not. additionally, take a little time to benefit instead of basically cheating; math skills are extremely required as you become older. with regard to the initiating of this letter, spend extra time with your grandmother. Get to understand her, and tell her you adore her each and every time you notice her. don't be so grasping and thinking in effortless terms of your self. existence is optimal, or perhaps regardless of the undeniable fact that i've got no longer seen it myself, optimistically we can sooner or later. issues are undesirable, and that they are in effortless terms going to worsen, so which you will possibly prefer to be sturdy, so do no longer wimp out on me now! supply up mendacity on your mom and getting your self into trouble. study extra and play extra. thank you for no longer giving up whilst issues have been given relatively difficult. those circumstances have made me more desirable and able to bear yet another day. 01/21/ninety 9 - 01/21/08. i grow to be 7 years previous then.
2016-10-02 12:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by wyckoff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it!!! Have you heard of Beyonce's "Irreplaceable"?
There are more hot guys out there!!! He clearly dosn't like you...And you shouldn't push yourself to him...Because he is not worthy of all that attention...You're better than that!!!
2007-03-20 21:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by emo killer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad. I'm sorry that you have to go through all that. Be strong now. I'm sure you'll find your way through.
2007-03-20 21:28:08 · answer #7 · answered by fede 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sori to hear dat. get over him. once u forget him its easier for u to find a better guys..trust me.
2007-03-20 21:13:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out, let loose and have fun.. get over him because he is over you.
2007-03-20 21:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by good_but_naughty_gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋