What happens if the reason that he fell out of love with you because you weren't yourself or the person he did fall in love with in the first place. I wasn't myself for the last year (we were living together this year) of a 3 year relationship because of me being scared of losing him. I did extreme measures to make him happy, like being available to him all the time, letting him do what he wants avoiding any serious conflict (basicly losing my independence and identity). The reason why i did this was because he had committment issues in the past with me which made me think that if did everything to make him happy i won't lose him, but then he dumps me teliing me that he wasn't happy in the last couple of months and doesn't feel the same way by doesn't know why. I still love him and I regret in what I have done (in my case in losing myself first and then second, losing him)
2007-03-20 19:21:32 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's been 3 months ever since we broke up, i have not made any contact with him, I have boosted my self esteem and independence, i travelled arond europe I moved in with my best girlfriend, started a new job, and i started dating, i feel happy about myself, but i still love him, these feelings haven't changed, i still desire him
2007-03-20 19:21:45 · update #1
Speaking from experience. Meaning the person who had commitment problems, he lost you and it was his fault as well for the failed relationship. You never want to lose your identity. I'm sure that put a huge strain on the relationship too. We fall in love with people because of who they are. When they loose their self identity we are no longer seeing that same person. We all change over time but we still think and respond the same way in our inner core. What's that changed we are no longer ourselves. Just remember he is also to blame in the failed relationship.
2007-03-20 19:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by spiritius4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a mistake alot of women do. Basically if a girl thinks that she needs to be available 27/7 in-front of her boyfriend and do nothing but please him .. The guy is definitely about to get bored. I see why you blame yourself if he was unable to handle what you had to offer him at that time then my dear you don't need that man.You did your best to make him happy and nothing wrong with that. However you should never lose your happiness and identity in the future making someone else happy. Go on live your life and and in time you will learn to for get about him. Good Luck
2007-03-21 02:34:35 · answer #2 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant let a man change who u are and thats what u did ur happy now and u will love him for a long time but its only been 3 months give it time time will heal the wounds of a relationship i did the same thing recentaly none of my friends didnt even know me anymore but he went missing for 40 hrs to come home and tell me it was over i was devistaed because i thought i was doing everything right now im out and im happier then ever but of course i still love him but as everyday passes the love onlybecomes something of the past and i realise that it is tanted lol....i always say if they cant love u for who u r then they arnt worth it and move on best of wishes hun
2007-03-21 02:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by nichole 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame yourself for being dumped. You didn't do anything wrong. It was NOT your fault. You were being a good girlfriend but sadly sounds like he took you for granted.
I wish you all the best in your new relationship. Be yourself. You don't have to go out of your way to make people happy.
2007-03-21 02:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by hhfe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've done something like this myself. Stay on the path you're on. Keep living your own life. The pain and regret and whatever "love" you still think you feel will go away in time.
Be strong! You will feel better. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-21 02:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by eleven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time and permission to let go - You sound like your in a good place mentally and otherwise - Remember a Ex is a Ex for a reason - So don't fall back in that trap
2007-03-21 02:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by pattijohughes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to say no, but since I answered no to the last question about doing special things for the others, it might be yes. I may have had my hand in it, though not deliberately. Since I would never have married any of them, I am not crushed. Hopefully, they have moved on and found somebody else who makes them happy. I wish them well, though one did cheat.
2007-03-21 02:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course its not your fault, everyone grows, changes, and well, becomes different but no one stays the exact same forever. He should love you for who you are deep inside because the important things like love never change.
2007-03-21 02:28:19 · answer #8 · answered by shalini s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't hurt to call him, and tell him what you have learned about yourself and the relationship, and how you feel about him. Who knows, maybe he misses you too.
2007-03-21 02:32:43 · answer #9 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be urself! screw that guy
2007-03-21 02:25:51 · answer #10 · answered by oh ya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋