how stupid would it be to be roomates with someone you're also dating?

Question

my self and a friend i've known for years have recently begun getting romantically involved while simultaneously planning to be roomates.

right now, we live about 100 miles apart, and neither of us have a car, so seeign each other is difficult. additionally, she wants to go to a college near my home, as well as work in my same office, and i have a room for rent. because of these factors, we've been talking about her renting my room. she would be able to get the job she wants, go to the school she wants, etc, and we'd also be able to see eachother alot more.

however, given our increasing romantic interest in one another, i've got some concerns. namely all the problems roomates can have, say over cleanliness, personal space, money, etc, complicated by the romantic feelings. not to mention what the heck happens if we fight or wors,e break up.

so, what are your thoughts people?

Answer 1

Well if you're good friends who have known each other for a long time, then you just have to make sure to keep up with the most important tenant of relationships... the dreaded "communication". If you want your relationship to continue, then you had better see each other at least somewhat often, or else it will dry out. If she is going to rent a room and you are involved, then you are taking the next step in the relationship without even knowing it.

I would talk to her about it and let her know what your concerns are (sounds an awful lot like communication to me), and let her know why you feel a bit anxious about it too. If she understands and agrees then you should take the risk, because the best things in life require a little bit of risk, and what's the most you have to lose? You've already risked the loss of a good friend by getting romantically involved with her, you have very little to lose after that. The biggest foreseeable problem is that you will have NO privacy from one another as you will work AND live together. But talk to her, it may be your choice, but it sounds like you're having trouble making it alone.

Answer 2

If you've known this person for years Im sure they can look past the little things like waiting until the next day to do the dishes.
But... living with you and working with you could put a real strain on a developing romantic relationship.
Best of luck

Answer 3

Bad idea especially if she is paying rent because then you have to deal with what to do if she can't pay one month. If you are set on doing it ask your self a bunch of questions so your prepared for all possible problems. Things like what if she brings another guy to the house or what if she wants to throw out my things. Stuff like that. I wouldn't do it if your a nice guy that would have a hard time kicking someone out. I would have her move somewhere closer for a few months and if everything is fine start gradually having her sleep there until you decide she should move in. It's a tricky situation.

Answer 4

I wouldn't recommend it, especially starting both aspects of the relationship more or less simultaneously, as well as working together. You deserve to have that period of romance when toenail trimming doesn't enter the picture and for all you know you could break up badly after a week.

Answer 5

Your concerns are certainly legit. It depends on your personalities.

Tell her of your mixed feelings/thoughts. Don't trust instant "oh, no, that'll never be a problem", because it should definitely be a thoughtful 2 way conversation.

Answer 6

Well, if you really like her this is your chance to know her better before elevating the status of your relationship.

Answer 7

little bit stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!