does it upset you when?

Question

Does it upset you when people judge single parents calling them imiture? Personaly i am a single mother because up untill i had my son my ex was a kind sweet guy we had been together for a year when i got pregnant. He had started cheating on me i delt with it so my son would have a dad then when i got fed up with it and tried to talk to him about it he got Extremly violent so i packed my stuff and left. Is it not responsible to leave someone who is a horible role model and a unsafe person for your child to be around? i thought i was doing the right thing? So what my son carries my last name me and his father agreed to that because my brother and his wife are unable to have kids and i wanted to pass down my familey name. I may have had my son rather young
(he was born 5 days affter 20th b-day) but i still do my hardest to insure that he has a happy and healthy life. heck his turning 2 and still has NEVER had a ear infection! anyways...does any one else hate judgemental people?

Answer 1

what does matter is that you got out of that relationship because, yes, your child would see what his father would act like and it could endanger him as well as you in the future. people are cruel these days thinking that single parents are irresponsible and can't hold a relationship or marriage together. truth is, you can't force two people to love one another if they don't love one another for the sake of the child. no matter what dr phil says, hahaha. i too hate judgemental people but that's all they are - judgemental. i am guilty of it too however i feel my reasons are correct in some aspects. in others, i'm being mean. i grew up with judgemental people and i was judged all the time. but rather than get upset about it, i just moved on. people do not control you or your actions. choose your battles before speaking or acting. what you did, however, was the best choice for both you and your child. be there for your child as much as possible and teach him well. if you are a strong role model for him, then that's great, but eventually, you will find a man who will treat you with the upmost respect and love for both you and your child. good luck!

Answer 2

I get this look all the time....I am 25 with 2kids of my own and 3 step...so all together 5. Lots of times I take all of them with me when i go into public and boy do heads turn. I know its hard but dont let it bother you. Just continue what you are doing it seems as if you are a very wonderful mother. I know exactly how you feel... i thought the father of my 2 was the absolute love of my life until baby #2 came along. I left for all the exact same reasons you did. You did the right thing I am so glad you got out when you did. I am proud of you. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I know its easy for me to say that it doesn't matter what people think, but it's the truth. Only you know your situation. I'm sure you'd be getting looks even if you you were married, for having a child so young. I'm 25 and have 3 kids and get those "looks" all the time. The only people you have to worry about thinking that you're a good mother is your son and you. No matter what situation you're in, there is always going to be someone out there who will look down on you, probably just to make themselves feel better. Let it go, those kind of people are not worth getting angry over.

Answer 4

I think everyone does. But everyone can be judgemental at times.

Just continue being a good mother to your son. Put him first, always. Make sure he is protected and nurtured and considered before you do ANYTHING. And you'll be fine. My Mom had me when she was 18 and i turned out okay... but she was very mature for her age. Never partied. never brought strange men around. And made sure I had a relationship with my Dad. Children need to know both parents. Maybe the man would be a better father than boyfriend. If you don't trust him alone with your son you should still make arrangements for them to be able to spend time together on occasion. Your son will want to know his Dad.

Best wishes.

Answer 5

gypsy, people have always had an evil eye to turn towards single parents. my mother was a single parent and we were raised in a very religious community. the other kids would actually tell us that their parents told them not to hang out with us, because we had one parent and they had two. they assumed my mother was a whore or something. in all actuality, my father was abusive and my mother protective us from that. that's way more important than having that dual-parent household or fitting into other people's ideals of what is right or proper.

well, my mother raised us pretty well. we're functioning members of society, building on our own personal American dreams, and we did it without a father. mind you, her experiences taught us to be more careful with the men we chose, and two of us are married now. we're decently educated and well-rounded, if i might say so myself!

your son will be fine. ignore those ignorant people who look down on you for things that you can't control.

kudos to you, gypsy and to mommacita a few answers up...y'all rock on!

Answer 6

It is hard not to let it bother you. I mean as a single mom who is putting the child first in her life, are you not entitled to your feelings? Yes, it is important not to let other people take you off your game plan. However, if you can't come to answers to blow off steam where can you go? I would like to say to you I think that you are very mature. I think that you are doing the very best for your child. It will pay off in the long run. Right now my sista I say keep your head up. I am sorry that people are making you feel bad about your decisions. I think you are doing a great job. Hugs.

Answer 7

Yes....Yes...Yes
I am 35 years old now my children are 11-10and 9. Their father and I had been together for 9 years when he decided he was in love with my cousin and left. Everyone looks at the single parent like they are the ones that have done wrong. It makes me sick to think that people can just judge you for the hand that was dealt you. Keep your head up. And just keep loving your son.

Answer 8

It does upset me, and mostly because the very same people who are judging you are the ones who are soooo anti-abortion they would turn to violence to enforce their views! They don't want abortion, they don't want birth control, and they don't want single parents. They just want to rule a puritanical world full of robots, apparently. :) Anyway, don't let anyone's judgement bother you. Your son will always love and respect you for the difficult challenges you face being a single parent and succeeding at it!!

Answer 9

Yes. I do. You should be commended for trying to be a good mother. Yes, you did right to leave your "husband". No one deserves to be abused whether its physical, mental and/or emotional. Its mighty sad that in our warped christianised society, some idiots want to judge those who dont measure up to certain standards as unfit. Its also sad that a lot of men in our warped christianised society dont seem to mind siring kids but they dont want to take responsibility for siring them. I wish you a lot of luck and good fortune and, again, you definatly deserve a medal for being a good mother.

Answer 10

Apparently it's attack of the judges today, I've seen a lot of questions ranting about judgemental people. All in all, the number one rule is to ignore anyone who breaks your stride. If they don't like it, tough ****. Don't waste your energy on people who aren't on your page.