rrrr... mother issues about tattoos!~!!! help me! im not sure what to do..?

Question

well im going to a convention next weekend.. a tattoo one of course.. and im thinking abotu gettign small hearts on my feet.. sorta below my ankle in that groove (hard to explain) just a brown heart so they look liek birth marks. or a small one above my breast... anyways.. i told her abotu a tattoo i wanted and still want.. and she didnt say anythign. now i mention something and she says "no tattoos or im kicking you out"

she doesnt see my point... i love body modifications. i have 9 piercings. she hates all of them.. im not a bad person.. i am about to recieve my aa degree. im a sophmore in college. almost 20 years old. i dont smoke or drink or do anythign wrong! and she says shed kick me out for expressing myself for gettign a tattoo!!!! i dont understand!!!


yes i understand "her house her rules" she says i can get one when i move out but i snapped back at her and asked "whst the point you would still be disappointed in me.. and you dont liek me for who i am" she didnt say

anything... why dont i understand her... why doesnt she understand me?? how can i make her okay abotu this??

i am responsible, mature for my age and obviously old enough to make my own decisions.... i pay for everythign on my own. including school.. why cant i reward myself once in a while??


how can i make her comfortable with the idea that its my body and i can do what i want with it??

my mom says im "self destructive" i dont know why.. im just any other normal hardworking, goal achieving person..... i have 9 piercings.. and she doesnt like them.. yet she ltes me use her credit card to but kewelry to stretch my ears?! i dont understand that! .lol


i just think it would be nifty to get a tattoo at a tattoo convention.. plus a nice story... and something i hav thougth abotu for a while now... ive always anted a small heart.. lol somwhere... lookign liek teh color of a birth mark.. so it looks somewhat natural

if not ill probabaly get a piercing.. of some sort..

i htink ill get a piercing instead..she didnt say anythgin about that... but it just bothers me that she thinks that.. rrrrrrr ... ::sigh::

i didnt really argue or was mean to her.. sorry =[ i talked to her in a calm and normal voice. shes usually the one who starts the yelling...lol

but i talked to her baout it this mornign and she is okay with it i guess. she said i have to remove my favoite piercing though =[

Answer 1

I've worked in a tatt parlor. breasts aren't a good idea. it'll look bad, trust me. her not liking your tattoo choices means nothing about how she feels towards you. duh. a tattoo is life long. take it from someone who regrets getting something i was totally in love with at the time but grew to hate. the ankle is a better choice, but be careful about getting something random that you cant add onto...those always end up looking like crap. and don't use products with zinc topically on your tatt. they'll fade like its going out of style

Answer 2

Tattoos on your feet hurt and will need to be touched up every few years. Just something to keep in mind. I got my first tattoo at 21 with no discussion with the parents, but it had a personal representation to me and they realized that. After moving out and being on my own for 12 years or so I've gotten 3 more all with personal meaning including one that represents my Mom with the word "mom" in her handwriting. It's a part of her that I will have with me for the rest of my life.

My best advice is to sit down and find out what it is she objects to, but do your research too. Explain what you want to have done and where you're going to put it. Give it a meaning she might be able to identify with..."a heart for each member of the family". If it's exposure she's worried about for "professional job" reasons, something that small isn't going to be noticed on the foot. She'd probably be surprised at the guy in the 3 piece suit that has a full back piece and half sleeve. She tolerates the piercings, but they are not forever, the holes will close, but the right ink will out last you. You could do what a good friend of mine did...she got a symbol on her lower back and hid it from her parents for 3years!! Just have a plan to move out if you get caught.


Do your research, have a few drawings to share, look into different artists work, if she sees you have educated yourself on the process it might go over better than the impulse to get it done. It will show her that your very serious and know that it's forever so you're going to do it right.
Good luck

Answer 3

Hi sweetie. I can understand both your view points. I am about to have my first child and she is a gorgeous baby girl. I have high hopes for her. Now, given that you are hardworking, go to school and don't do drugs or alcohol, (my biggest fears for my daughter is drugs)------ Since I have 3 tattoos of my own, and had 3 piercings, but now only one.. I took my tongue ring out the day before my wedding so did my man. I do understand you completely. You are not 17. I guess your mom is just looking out for the future as I have seen some really bad tattoos, you have to get the good ones and research the places. You don't want to just do it on a whim at a convention, unless one of the award winning places is there and you want to get it from them. Also think of the cleanliness issue!! You can get a disease from the place, so please be careful. TRY, Gothic Body, from Milwaukee. They have tons of awards I got two of my 3 there and they still look great after years of being done. I would recommend them. I know they do attend the tattoo conventions as well. I am in one of their books. I hope that you and your mom can come to a reached agreement so that there is not strife between you two, as your relationship should be number one. Good Luck:)

Answer 4

I have parents who are pretty strict about body modifications as well. I'm 21, also a sophmore in college, and own my own business. Yet regardless, it took me years to convince them to allow me to get my ears pierced with "ice" (I'm a guy.) Let me get straight to the point, the method I used to convince my parents is to tell them why you want a tattoo. Sit your mother down and ask her as to why she opposes it so much. Although a tattoo is permanent, there are ways to get them removed regardless of the cost (just to assure your mother that tattoos can be dealt with). Convince her that you thought this out and this is what you want. Its corny, but tell her how this little modification won't change the person you are or your behavior afterwards. Perhaps she's willing to do a trade-off. I told my parents that I'd pay all of the bills (cell, college, utilities) pertaining to me in exchange for the piercing. Finally, grab a black or brown pen and draw in the heart on the area you want tattooed. Your mother is probably blowing this situation out of proportion. Show her that the heart isn't so bad. Conclude that you won't do any more body modifications if you get her consent to have this tattoo. Even if you want to do more, let's just focus on one @ a time and work your way up. Hope this helps! (:

Answer 5

I understand what you are going through,asI had this beard for a long time, and poor Mom, she hated it, but my wife loved it. Well to live my life the way I wanted too,I moved out at 19, and never looked back, except to tell my parents that I love them. I had a great friend in my karate class, she is a black belt, and she had shaved her head, had piercings, everywhere, and even though I thought , she was so pretty, why all the tatoos and piercings, but she was happy with herself, also a college graduate, and I think your Mom should back off you as you are old enough too know better, just like my friend, and maybe it is time to get your own place, and tell mom bye, bye. I got tired of being judged because I had a beard and long hair, but as you get older things do change, and my beard and long hair are gone,now , and I am very comfortable with who I am, and how I was when I was younger. I really think that you should move out if you can afford it, and live your life the way you want too. Maybe your Mom is giving you the hint, that it is time to spread those wings and get your own place. You will be surprised how nice it is to be free and independent, and make your Mom proud of you, and do not try to think what she is thinking. Just focus, finish college, and believe me, your Mom , will forgive and forget. Good Luck...............

Answer 6

i'm sorry that you are having issues. my parents let me start doing all of the piercings and tattoos at 18 regardless of if i lived with them or not. i think they kindof figured i would do it anyway, which i totally would have. i think your mom has reservations about a tattoo because they are SO permanent and she still looks at you as being her child, even tho you are an adult. she just wants to protect you and keep you from doing something that can't be reversed. plus many people just don't understand tattoos at all. they think that it is mutilating the body and think that tattooed people are freaks. your mom may not want you to be a freak. piercings can be removed but tattoos are pretty much forever. good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 7

I'm sorry, but you probably wont be able to get your mother on your side. Some people are just very biased against tatoos and stay that way. I wish you luck, but you're probably better off waiting. I've got a masters and my mom still hates my tatoos...all 7 of them....Although, none of them below the elbow, or above the neck line, as even with a masters that would disqualify me from 95 percent of available jobs in this country.

Answer 8

Being a mother myself I can say. As you know, Her home her rules. That sucks but that's the way it is. I absolutely hate my sons piercing and how he stretches them out as a matter of fact it grosses me out but I 2 buy him the jewelry he needs because I know he has different likes than me. I respect that. Tattoos are permanent and might be emberassing to your mom and that's okay that doesn't make her a bad person either.That's just her opinion. You said your mom doesn't care, like you and trust you? Think about that, if she didn't she wouldn't be letting you use her credit card. Believe that! You said she doesn't see your point. Well, doesn't sound like your seeing her point either. She is meeting you half way by letting you get the piercings even thou she doesn't like them. Besides, It's unspoken rule that you 2 r not suspose to understand each other. That's just how it is. Like I've told my son. If you don't like the rules. Be a big boy and get your own home then go by your own rules. By the way, snapping at her and arguing with her about her not agreeing with a tattoo isn't being respectful.

Answer 9

Yeah, of course it's YOUR body and you can do what YOU want with it, but if your mother doesn't agree and you live with her you should respect her ideas. But if you really want one, you can get one secretly, I know it's a bad choice but you want it. If your 21st birthday is soon you can tell her: But I'm almost 21, can't I do what I want? Or when you are 21 you can say the same but say it as in present tence when it's that time. If it's not a big tatoo it sounds okay, my mom doesnt like them either but she said I can do what I want when I'm older but not to let her know about it because she doesnt want to know. I hope my answer helps, please do not let my ideas discourage you from yours or your mothers.
PS:
She does like you for who you are but not how you want to get tatoos and have piercings. I suggest you don't show her or take off the visible piercings when you see her. She would be happy (well thats what I would think)
Remember dont let me discourage you!

Answer 10

I think the best thing you can do is sit down with her, and talk to her rationally and calmly as 2 adults would do. Tell her you really want it but will respect her decision if she is still against it. That way 1)she will be surprised of your maturity with the matter and let you do it anyway or 2)at least you will be on good terms on her. Worse comes to worse, you can get the tattoo after college right? Hope I helped:)

Answer 11

I got my first 3 tattoos when I was 17, I hid them so well it took my parents 3 years to find out that I had them. Since then I have added 5 more.
Your 20, right? Move out and get your tattoo. I was out of my parents house by 19. Your mom cannot be mad at you forever.