my friend didnt make me bridesmaid?

Question

her not making me maid of honor is very understandable and acceptable, but why would she not make me bridesmaid?
we have been so close. we have cried in each other's arms. we share our problems, joys and grieves with each other...
and what makes me feel even weirder is she chose one of the girls from bridegroom's family to be one of the bridesmaids.
That doesnt even sound fair... lol
I know I am acting all immature, but i have been really close to both the bride and the bridegroom... I feel weird just being a guest.
I was almost considering not going to her wedding, but then I am not sure.

Answer 1

Please don't do this. There are many reasons for your friends decisions. I think you will find that you will not JUST be a guest. She may need you in different ways. I have not asked one of my VERY best friends to stand for the reasons that I am having a very small wedding, she has children and lives across the country. I did ask her daughter to be my flower girl. She doesn't have time to do some of the duties that are a big help. It is also normal for a family member on the bridegrooms side to stand. All these politics are difficult enough. Don't take it personally. Be there.

Answer 2

I felt the same way when my friend of 21 years wanted me to be an usher rather than a bridesmaids. After asking her, she said she made her mom the MOH (and only bridesmaid) and the grooms father the Best Man. She would've had over 12 bridesmaids had she chosen otherwise.

Some brides don't select certain friends for shallow reasons. Just ask her to be honest with you. Are there only family members in the wedding party? Although it seems unfair, you have to think critically. Just say to her,"I always thought I'd be a bridesmaid in your wedding. Why wasn't I asked?"

Answer 3

Are you already married? If you are, that could play a big part as to why you were not invited to be a bride's maid. A lot of people are traditional about only having single women as their bride's maids. A lot of families also have tradition of only having family members in the wedding party. Your feelings may be hurt, but don't ruin your friends day by being petty about it. There is likely a very good reason you were not asked.

Answer 4

Your friend probably has her reasons. Why dun you offer your services to her? Or just be there for her?

Maybe she wants you to have a good time at the wedding and not be busy fussing over her?

But family politics during weddings can be a problem. Sometimes the wedding party is not decided by the couple. And when 2 families try to get their fingers in, it can be a real headache for the couple.

Answer 5

Oh Paleeeeeeeeeze! How somewhat immature and thoughtless! it is her determination you weren't grew to become down for huge call seek you have been invited to a marriage as a centred visitor. you relatively ought to understand social circumstances there are a constrained form of bridesmaids she had motives and social pressures for making the innovations that she did. you ought to help in making this an fantastically pleased day for her by utilising no longer performing like a spoiled baby given which you weren't chosen. no longer hassle-free!!! no longer hassle-free is thinking that given which you're friends which you have "the final" to be a participant in the rite. Now basically strengthen up slightly and understand that that's a sacrament and that she is approximately to commit herself to the affection of her existence consistently and you have been invited to attend and witness this union. The happiest people in the international make a prepare of being pleased with what they have and not making a super case approximately what they think of they deserve. regrettably we do see the place you're coming from and that's no longer a place of emotional, or religious capability do no longer disrespect your self by utilising loosing your dignity over this. placed on a severe high quality gown and attend the marriage of your costly buddy and be a woman approximately it.

Answer 6

I totally agree with Melissa who answered second. I was not allowed to have one of my friends as a bridesmaid as my mother hated her, it destroyed my friendship with this girl, but as my parents were paying then I had to respect that as well. Perhaps a similar thing has happened and she may have been forced to have other people for whatever reason, and she cannot afford to have any more? Try to be understanding and be a TRUE friend and go to the wedding.

Answer 7

That’s a tough situation to be in, but you should consider other reasons why she didn’t ask you before you decide to hold a grudge against her. I don’t know if you know the other bridesmaids or not, but when my cousin got married, she asked one of her really good friends to step down so that I could be a bridesmaid. I didn’t know about it until afterwards, but it had nothing to do with their friendship. It just had to do with her wanting to give her little cousin a chance to participate. I just mean that there could be a lot of explanations as to why she didn’t pick you that doesn’t have anything to do with your relationship. As far as not attending, if you guys are as close as you say, you should definitely still attend. If you don’t, you might look back on it one day and kick yourself for missing the most important day of her life.

Answer 8

Swallow your pride and do the "right" thing. Don't be selfish and play games by not going to her wedding.

Unfortunately the bride often has to include a female from the grooms family.

Talk to her without making her feel guilty, and offer to do something else if you want to part of the service - light the candles in the church, do a reading.

Answer 9

Having been a bride, I must say that sometimes family politics play a large roll in who you pick to be in your wedding. I didn't really want my sister in laws boyfriend to be an usher, but I was basically told that I had to. Still one of my biggest regrets. Go and be there for your friend, she is going to have so much on her mind that day that having a good friend who isn't mad about not being in the wedding will be wonderful. Honestly, I hate being in weddings. You have to deal with spending money on an ugly dress that you will never wear again, listen to the bride cry about stupid things, and not get to truly enjoy yourself.

Answer 10

First of all you dont have to call him a bridegroom, just groom will suffice.

Second of all, you are acting kind of immature. You know its not just her wedding, her groom also has a say in things and you should be happy for your friend. I know personally that I went with my cousins first and not my friends. Family means more than anything to me.