Should I tell my mother the reason why we plan to get married sooner than expected b/c I am pregnant?

Question

I told my mother that my significant other and I will be getting married after meeting him for 4-5 mths. She went bulistic, started threating me with my father, telling me he would not help me in any way, might even take back the car he gave me, which is still in his name. She constantly asked whats the rush? Why do you want to get married so soon? Are you pregnant? I told her "no". In fact, I am pregnant, but did not want to tell her b/c I know how she reacted about the marriage. Should I go ahead and tell her anyways, knowing that this is the result? Or should I keep it to myself and run off get married to the guy I am in love and pregnant by and let her find out later after marriage?

Answer 1

Amenity,.....I think always Honesty is the best Policy! However; you have a human being within you. It's your parents Grandchild. I would hate to see them go ballistic and cause you to have complications. You don't need a miscarriage that can put you in danger and obviously, that little fetus is going to be a somebody, and that somebody is your and your B/F's child as well as your parents Grandchild.

I too wonder what age you are. I am assuming 18 or older. If so, they really have no reason to get THAT upset! Of course parents have a picture in their mind of how they want your life to be. But, life happens, and they should want the best for you regardless of what they think you should have done or what path they thought you should take.

You can get married by a Judge or Justice of the Peace and have a Bigger Wedding later if you wish. Bottom line is you have to look out for yourself and your Baby within as well as your B/F and Baby's Father.

By the way, regardless if the car is in your Father's name, it was a gift, and you have a legal claim on it. If he didn't ask for money for it, he can't just take it back. Try to get it in your name.

If you have a family Minister or a strong mutually respected Family member, it might not be a bad idea for them to be there whn you tell your parents as a cooling entity.

If you are convinced they are going to explode, then maybe a letter would be in order. They need to come to terms with reality no matter how hard it is to swallow, and they need to recognize even if you have to tell them that if they get you upset, they could endanger your Baby and their Grandchild.

Hoepfully they will come to their senses. It;s funny how some parents will calm and melt down their rough exterior, and may show as many parents do a softer more accepting side. Everyone loves a Baby, and the notion they will be Grandparents might be just what the Doctor ordered.

I wish you my best.

Answer 2

Tell your mother. It is a big shock to find out your daughter is getting married all of the sudden. She will find out if you are pregnant sooner or later. You will have to deal with her immediate response but once that is over she will be able to provide you support and maybe even some good advice. Plus, what is a wedding if you run off and your mother isn't there? And you'll want your mothers help with the pregnancy and child birth. It is always great to consult with a professional, so to speak. It'll be hard but it'll be worth it in the long run. And Congrats!

Answer 3

HOLD IT !!!!!!!!!!THIS SOUNDS WAY TOO FAMILIAR!!!!
Exactly what happened to me honey. do not get married just cause ur pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did an i have regretted it for a long time now. i got married after 4 mths of relationship with bf cause i was pregnant. My parents reacted the same way. father didnt help at all. mom was a little more understanding though but it turns out my father knew what was best for me an i didnt listen either. i dont believe in divorce so im payin for bein so hasty. i love my hubby, dont get me wrong but we are in fact just too different to suit each other and the real hubby didnt come out til like a month after the wedding if ya know what i mean. he was sweet an nice an always did romantic things an what i wanted to do but after wedding it seemed like he didnt care what pleased me or not. so please just make sure you really know how your significant other really is. hope this helps , i wouldnt want another woman to make the same mistake i did and go through what i have and still go through.

Answer 4

I think she is honestly just concerned that you are making a mistake. I would be just as upset if my daughter told me she was marrying so quickly.

Do you want her support? My suggestion is that you allow her to vent and get her feelings out. Take the time to listen to her. After patiently hearing her out, let her know what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Yes, you need to tell her you are pregnant because she deserves to hear all the factors.

After you have come clean with her, you will feel better. She can take some time to think and then hopefully the response will be better.

God bless and I pray you have a healthy baby.

Answer 5

Its better to lay your cards on the table now and tell her truth. I mean, she's going to find out that you are pregnant anyway. If you run off and not tell her, you will only create a bigger rift between you and your mom. She may not be able to trust you again. So it is better off in the long run that you are truthful. Yeah, she's going to be mad, but step up and take some responsibility for your actions. You need to think as a responsible adult because you will soon be taking care of another human being.

Answer 6

Honesty IS the best policy. Tell her that you're pregnant. You can't hide forever. Sooner or later they will find out. Your parents may yell at you, threatened you with all sorts of things - that's their first reaction but once they get over the shock, they'll cool down & try to rationlize how best to help you. Why? Because they care about you.

Cheer up! It's not the end of the world.

Answer 7

you should defiantly tell her whats going on. once you get married your dad shouldnt be taking care of you anymore anyway. you and your husband should be taking care of each other. and yeah its hard in the beginning and even more so with a baby. but then no one said being an adult was easy. your mom may not approve but theres not much she can do about it. but the sooner you tell her the sooner she can start dealing with it and come to terms. dont you want her to be at your wedding and apart of your babys life? remind her of that if she gets upset again. babies usually have a way of bringing people together. good luck and congrats.

Answer 8

no, tell her the truth , i am pretty sure you are a grown a$* woman. you have to face her and do what you feel is right. and i hope u did not consider abortion , it is not the childs fault that u got caught up. i had my daughter all on my lonesome and she and i are doing great. but don't marry him because ur pregnant marry him b/c you love him, getting pregnant by someone is not a reason to marry them, this is a new day and age honey. just think if i wouldve married the as*hole that knocked me up just on that reason alone, aint no telling girl. i glad i didnt just to find out how sorry he is.

Answer 9

I certainly have a similar style of concern planned yet instead of a %of me and hubby retaining try i visit get an i admire GRANDMA physique and positioned a notice with due date interior the placement of a p.c. (ex. Decemeber 2007) i like your thought too.

Answer 10

well, if you can't take her volatile actions, if she almost scares you--then go off an get married. guys don't understand that a mother can do a number on the daughter. you are pregnant, take care of your health, be calm, later you have a nice party,