Dog just died, how can I cope?

Question

He was just 6 years old, he was a boxer and hasn't been feeling very well the past week. He just went to the vet over the weekend and they did all kinds of tests on him. Well today I came home from work early and saw him lying on the floor next to his own vomit, and I thought wow this dog is pretty sick. Then, as I was about to leave I see him trying to get up on the sofa and it sounded like he was going to throw up again so I left... I didn't think he was THAT sick because he's thrown up before. Well a couple hours later I get a call from work from my dad telling me that hes dead... and now I feel like this is my fault and I could have saved him, because I was there and I didn't do anything and I feel so awful and of all days I had come home early from work to take a break the day my dog needed my help and I just ignored him. I dont think Im going to get over this at all he was a really friendly dog and they still dont know how he died... any advice I would greatly appreciate.

Answer 1

That's a toughy. Everyone copes and deals with grief differently, so no one can tell you exactly how to feel, but one thing I can tell you is that you are not alone. Don't feel like you should have to hurry up and get over it. Some people feel like it was "just a dog," but I understand. My animals are my best friends/children so I know how much love can go into these furry guys. Take as much time as you need, and don't let anyone tell you what you should be feeling. Only you know what you "should be" feeling, and I can guarentee you that everything your feeling is normal, just like grieving for a human being. Take your time, and please LET yourself grieve. Some people get over loss in a matter of weeks, some months, some years. It's all "normal."

Now this is me talking, so take this as what it is, or decide not to (like I was saying in the previous paragraph) don't let anyone tell you what to do or what to feel. I would not throw his toys away. I would hang onto them until you know how he died. If he had a infectious desease, then I would consider the trash, but if not they can be wonderful things to remember your pet by. Maybe bury him with his favorite one?

Try to celebrate his life, maybe make a scrap book of photos, make a box of his favorite things. Maybe write him a letter and bury it with him, letting him know how you feel. Sometimes it just helps to get you thoughts on paper instead of just letting them run through your head. Sounds silly, but I promise you it works.

And, most of all, don't blame yourself. You guys tried to take him to the vet the previous weekend, and if the vet didn't know what it was that was making him sick, how were you suppose to? You're not a vet. And if you could go back and change things you would, and he knows that. Dogs are very intuative. Also, which you may not know, Boxers have a shorter life span than most other breeds, just 9-11 years. Now that's average, but your dog just might have been in the low end. Also, your dog may have had cancer or something that was causing him to vomit, and once cancer spreads so far (enough to make him vomit) there's nothing anyone could do, so PLEASE don't blame yourself.

Try to make peace with the situation. He IS in a better place (I agree with whoever suggested Rainbow bridge-I'll attach a copy of the poem in this responce), and you will get to see him again someday. But with that said, it doesn't make it any easier, and the pain will take some time to get over.

When/if you are ready for a new pet (it's might take awhile, or you may never be ready), at least you'll know that your Boxer will be happy that that you made peace with his death and that he'll never be replaced in your heart, but that you are just giving another animal a great home like you gave him.

Take care and I hope any of my thoughts helped. Here's the rainbow bridge poem:

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Answer 2

Hi, first i want tio say sorry for your loss ! I know what your going threw i lost two dogs yesterday, one was a 2 day old puppy that i tryed to save but no hope, and the other puppy was a couple of months old and she just out of the blue started acting realy weird ,she acted like she was dizzy and had 3 sezures with in a 1:30 period she died later that day seconds before she died she had foamy blood coming from her mouth and nose . I don't know why she died all i know is that she was not ment to live a long life . I know that if i say " it's not your falt dogs die it's a part of life you will find another dog and be just as happy with it" you would still feel the guilt of your dog and you will play over and over in your mind" if i had just took him to the vet" you can't do that your dog was not ment to live longer than he did it's sad and it might be a little harsh but it's the truth and even if you had taken him to the vet chance's are he probly would have died any ways he might have had some thing that was untreatable. my point is don't blame your self for him death be glad you had the time you had with him . and don't call me crazy but do you think your dog would want you to be upset and blame your self for why he died ? I hope you get through this ! God Bless,Heather

Answer 3

Please don't listen to anyone making you feel even worse about the loss of your dog. Anyone not guilty of doing something we regret throw the first stone cause there is no one. I am so very sorry for the loss of your dog. It could have been anything to make him sick and you may never know why. I have heard some people try and poison their neighbors dogs and it turns my stomach at such meaness. Rest in the peace of knowing he's in a good place as I believe all dogs really do go to heaven. Secondly, he will always have a special place in your heart and try and remember the good times you had together.

Answer 4

It is so devastating and depressing when a pet passes away. I had to euthanize my dog because she was very ill, and every pet owner does feel guilt. Only time heals. From my experience, it is not easy to get over the death of a pet right away, it always lingers in your head, but as time passes you will accept the reality and go on. Just remember all the things you have done for him for the past six years. I'm thinking maybe your boxer ate something toxic?? hope you feel better :(

Answer 5

Sorry to hear of your loss, we sure get attached to these guys, my best advise is to go out a get a new dog maybe adopt one from the shelter and you will soon be so busy with your new friend you won't be as preoccupied with the one you will not be able to help any longer. I don't mean to sound heartless but it really has worked for friends that have lost pets. Be sure if you do get a new pet to throw out all of the old belongings of the old one, you don't want the new one to come down with anything.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry about your dog. There are websites where you can share your grief with others who have gone through the same thing, and also can write a story about him, or share memories, if you like. Do a search for "Rainbow Bridge", and numerous sites will come up, with links to many others. Also, there are pet grief hotlines, but they may be a little harder to find. If you're persistent, you will find more than a few phone numbers where you can talk to someone who will help you.

Answer 7

I am extremly sorry for your loss. Who knows what he was suffering from but he seemed violently ill. At least he doesn't have to suffer anymore-honestly, the way it sounds, there really wasn't anything that could be done. I don't mean to sound inconsiderate, but, shoulda, coulda, woulda. You should not blame yourself, your dog forgives you. Dogs are a man's best friend. It always feels nice to express youself in some way to make a tribute to somebody who has passed away-poems, paintings, maybe even documenting everything that happened. I hope you will recover soon and all my sympathies to you and your dog. :)

Answer 8

very sad sounds like he was really sick, He is out of his pain now.
When I lost my dog on the 5th Feb to cancer (she was only 18 months old) I made a special garden in my yard for her. There is a beautiful white rose bush surrounded by other flowers and a plaque in memory of her. I have buried her ashes in the garden under the plaque too, I often go out the back and talk to her, I cry, I miss her deeply, I dont think I will get over her loss either - But it is getting easier... We went and got another dog straight away (the very next day) but that is your choice.... Do something for yourself and your dog something where you can go talk to him, cry or just feel near.

Sorry for your loss

Answer 9

what dog food. dogs are dying for eating canned dog food. if you loved this guy you will always. My guy got killed at the dunes. a quad hit him right in front of me. the quad was going way to fast so I whistled for him right after he started to run for me the quad turned around and full throttle came right back and hit my boy. it crushed me. I still miss him and it happened a year ago last christmas. he was 18 months old. and the coolest dog i ever had. i got another pup 3 weeks later. she has helped me to not be devasated. she has become my best bud, but i still shed a tear over my scooter. time will heal you. you didnt know he was going to die. he was already to the vets you said. it is not your fault. that is what i have to tell myself also. good luck and God Bless

Answer 10

This is how I have dealt with my pet's death in my life.

I pay my respects to my deceased pet by providing a proper burial or disposal of its remains.

I then clear out all of its toys and possessions from my house.

I wait no longer than a couple of days before I go in search of another animal to share my love and life with. It helps to make the "loss" more bearable because now someone new needs your love and attention.