I am asking this because I was talking to this guy and told him that I wanted to have a good job be married and have kids by 28 and he like got mad at me and told me I am going to be miserable you cant plan an age for things which im not im just giving a range and he told me I need to live my life and have no idea what its like I am going to be miserable for thinking about the future and will be for the rest of my life.. I think this is really odd I mean am I wrong
2007-03-20 17:15:26 · 20 answers · asked by marissa w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No you're not wrong. Hun, I want to have all that by the time I'm 24. And I'm 20 also, and I'm getting married Friday, and I'm trying to get pregnant now for four months. And now i have to wait for April. I think the guy probably got mad at you because guys are goofy sometimes and he probably got nervous because it may have sounded to him like you were planning on him being a part of it. It probably scared him. the way I see it, if you're 28 and you've got it going on, you should go for it and get married and have kids. Granted, I have been seeing more and more older people becoming parents. There is a lady who is a professor here at my college. She's having her first baby and she's 35. Just the other day I saw a couple that looked like they were in their mid thirties with a baby. I checked online. Having a baby when you're younger is not the thing to do anymore. the average age of having a baby now is 27-35 believe it or not. And you want to be in the age range anyway. People think I'm ridiculous for wanting kids and marriage by the time i'm 24. I actually think 24 is going to be too old for me.
Anyway, you're not wrong. Planning ahead is a good thing most of the time. You're gonna be the one who isn't confused when it all happens. you'll know what you want when you want it. Kudos to you chica!
2007-03-20 17:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by stoogegirl53 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, it is good to have goals and future plans for yourself, but at the same time, what will happen if you do not attain this goal? He is right, that you need to figure out what you want in life first. Focus on getting an education and being successful in your life and the rest will fall into place. Remember that society places these norms on us and makes us think that at a certain age we have to do certain things like get married because "its time" or "its the right thing to do". Just because it is right for other people, doesn't mean that it is the right plan for you. Things will happen in your life when they are meant to happen, no matter how careful you plan them.
2007-03-21 00:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its okay to have a plan like that but don't end up getting married to the wrong person just because you feel like you need to get married by a certain time in your life. Don't let people tell you that it would be a mistake to get married that young or that you would be throwing your life away. Just make sure that if its in 8 years or if its tomorrow that it is the right time, the right person, and that it is all for the right reasons.
2007-03-21 00:27:00 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to have a life plan. Some people just don't know where they're going and that's why they get so miserable. You don't get miserable just for having a plan. If it's what you think is best, then probably that's the best thing you should do! Another thing, others should respect what you want to do with your life. After all it's yours, not theirs.
2007-03-21 00:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Z 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to have ideals. Goals would be a bit presumptuous that things would turn out that way, but ideals are ok. If things don't turn out that way, then that is ok also. Sounds like the guy wants a long term relationship with you. Sounds a bit clingy and controlling if you ask me (I'm presuming you haven't or have only started to go out). Do yourself a favour and go out with 28-30 yr old for a while and skip all that BS that young guys give you.
2007-03-21 01:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by cyberanswer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't set yourself up for failure. In today's society 28 is actually pretty young to be married and have children. It's not unheard of, but don't say to yourself or anyone else, this is your goal. Don't set goals. Let your life just happen. When you find the right person, at any age, it will be the right time. If you set yourself up for it to happen at 28 you may find yourself just settling for someone you don't really want.
2007-03-21 00:20:50 · answer #6 · answered by lochmessy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. Its better to have kids before you are too old to want to care for them. Children take up a lot of energy and you don't want to deal with a newborn when you are 40 do you? You have the right idea, but you could word it differently to a partner. Have your children young when you have the energy and livelyness to enjoy all of them. When you are 40 you will not enjoy them as much as if you where 25. Take care Heather
2007-03-21 00:22:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Planning life is not such a bad thing, if you and your partner agree and stick to your guns. Life is like everything else the better you plan the more you get out of it. Although the element of suprise has it's own special excitement; I'm sure that will still be there too.
2007-03-21 00:19:24 · answer #8 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no its not considering how girls are getting pregnant and married younger and younger.if u have children an get married before 28 it would be good because if u wait to late it might be a little hard to start a family . and every one needs plans or u will end up a bomb with no carer an lonely
2007-03-21 00:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by sexysyi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think eveyone has an idea of what age they want to do everything but kust because you want to be married by 28 dosn't mean you shoul marry a guy you only like a bit beacuse if you wait a bit longer you may find someone you really like. if is ok to have a plan but don't freak out if it hasn't happened by then.
2007-03-21 00:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by Chelsea! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋