My live-in boyfriend will not discuss our future. Whenever I try to talk to him about serious issues, he ignores me (pays more attention to the tv than me) or walks away from me. I really love him and in the past he has said things regarding us getting married, however, his behavior is not that of someone who really wants to marry another person. When I cry, he doesn't bother to get up and comfort me. He would rather ignore it. I am always the one who wants to spend time together--I don't know how much time would go by before he would initiate some "us" time...I'm starting to wonder if I'm wasting my time with him. Is he just not that into me?
2007-03-20 16:47:28 · 8 answers · asked by babers02 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it sounds lke he needs some space, whether he wants to admit it or not. if he doesnt care enough to get up and comfort you when you're crying or sad, then there is something wrong.
are there any other issues in his life right now? work? family? friends? school? find this out, if there is something else bothering him or on his mind then this issue may not be entirely on your relationship.
but still, you should spend some time apart. i know this is hard to hear, i too recently just spend some time apart from my GF of 3 years, and it was one of the hardest things i've ever gone through in my life. but now we are back together and things are really great. it takes some time apart for you to really realize how you feel. if he loves you like he says he does, then being away from you will drive him crazy.
give him some distance, try not to be the "oh i love you honey, hold me, touch me" GF for a while. play hard to get for a little while. dont bring up the issues about your future for a while. if you bring it up too often it's going to frustrate him and eventually push him away from you. no one likes a nag, sorry if that sounds abrupt.
take some time apart, or just give him some space. if his feelings are true, he'll come around
good luck.
2007-03-20 17:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by lazynessking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. Sorry to hear about your troubles. I have a live-in BF as well. You two need to sit down and have a serious talk. Ask him about his future plans, tell him about your plans, don't yell at each other and see if your plans overlap. You need to really think about the situation and see if living with him will not be worth it or if it will be a stepping stone to your future together.
You learn a lot living together. I'm not sure how long you have both been together, but it is not easy.. You'll fight about stupid things, get freaked out about your future together from time to time, but at the end of the day you both come home to each other.
Hopefully your Bf will break down that wall he has put up and talk to you. Guys have a serious issue doing this.. Best of luck!
2007-03-20 23:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and with a quickness. If he has dated you for this long and STILL hasn't figured out if he wants to be with you the rest of his life, then he has some issues. AND you dont' want to sit there and wait around for him to figure it all out. I was engaged to a guy just exactly as you described and I finally wisened up and ended it. I realized that I deserve better and deserve someone who wants the same things as I do and life and I am sure this is what you want. You two have drifted apart and quite some time ago. Sounds like it is so one-sided and that you give and give and he is always there to take but never return anything. Please do yourself the favor and leave him. There are plenty of wonderful men out there who WANT to be committed relationships and know where there futures are headed. You will be making a big mistake if you stay with this guy. Good luck.
2007-03-20 23:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just now realizing that things are seriously serious and that he should be putting more thought into a real commitment, and is intimidated by that so he's pushing you away as an initial reaction. Give him some space, cool things off a bit on your end so you don't come off as needy, and let him realize how much he needs and wants you in his life. If you start hanging out with your girls more and let him feel the same aloneness (on a small scale, though, not to push him away) that you're feeling, chances are he'll remember how much he loves to be with you and he'll warm back up to you and to his commitment to your relationship.
2007-03-20 23:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by itllcost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know what i think your wasting your time if he dosent even ask you why or whats wrong when you cry then he don't care, and if you have to be the one to always try to work things out then its not going to work believe me I've been there and its Not fun its just a waste of time these guys think that you are not going anywheres thats one of the reasons why he acks like that some times you need to scare him and leave for a while see if he misses you and looks for you, you can not change a person that dosent want to change, and the things hes said in the past about yall getting married is just things he tells you so he can make you believe y'all have a future together and its just something that he knows you want to hear so he tills you , has he ever cheated on you? my ex did he acted like yours after a while and it ended up he cheated on me 5 times during our 8 yrs together i didn't have any idea he was doing that. was he always like that since y'all started going out, cause if he change on you then you go to keep your eye out OK tell us whats up good luck with what you do ok whatever your heart tells you ok and us will we are here to hear you and give you advice but like i said only you know how your man is or was.
2007-03-21 00:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by kittyg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess you just answered your own question.
"He's just not that into me"
If he not into you and can't be there for you to comfort you and your feelings and don't care to talk about issues you have with him than he is not a very mature man.
Any mature man would want to hear what you would have to say.
If you stay with him any longer you may be wasting your time. It's better to get out of the realtionship than it is to stay in it and keep going through the same thing each and everyday with him.
MJ
2007-03-20 23:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Jeff - It is what it is ☺ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe there is any future with live-in relationships of any kind. Find out who you are, believe in yourself, and find a guy who feels the same way then don't get together until you two are married. Look at it this way, at least then you've got a legal piece of paper that proves you two cared about each other ;)
2007-03-20 23:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by Joshua R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-20 23:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋