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I just feel happier alone. I don't feel any desire to make friends and spend time with other people. I enjoy spending my free time alone, reading a book or watching a movie. My family is constantly pressuring me to make friends, but I'm just happier without having to worry about keeping up with friends. I feel like making new friends would be a giant hassle, and then having to spend time with them and work at maintaining a friendship would just be to much work. My parents and my sister tell me I have to make friends, but I just want to be left alone. Why won't they just let me be if I'm happy with the way things are?

2007-03-20 16:42:12 · 22 answers · asked by santiago29134 3 in Health Mental Health

22 answers

Its ok to be alone, make sure that at least 1 time a week you get out with at least a family member, otherwise you could turn yourself insane, i enjoy being with just me and my partner just us to no friends so i get what its like. its normal just dont get depressed.

2007-03-20 16:46:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I sure hope so, I have felt that way my entire life. Don't get me wrong, I am not a total loner but, I am quite happy to spend 99% of my time alone. Just me, my books, my dogs and a good movie or my journal when I feel like writing. I am physically very active, so I see a lot of people I am just not a big talker. Guess that's why I love spending time with my dogs. No Pressure.

Anyway, my theory is that people who feel a constant need to have other people around them all the time must be insecure or need someone to constantly tell them they are okay. You already know that. Try not to be too hard on your family, for some reason they think you need that same reassurance from strangers to make you feel alive. Try reminding them that you get all you need and more from them and not to worry you are quite happy.

2007-03-21 00:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by Dogmom3 1 · 0 0

Hi Santiago,

Yes, it is normal for some people to be happier alone. Obviously you have some family and they love you, because they keep urging you to "go out and make friends". That's because they are putting themselves in your shoes and thinking how they would feel. But they aren't you...

One scenario as to why some people are happier being solitary is because some folks have a hard time with change. People are very hard to predict - their moods change, some faster than others. They get into one fad or another, then another. They fit into one crowd, then change to another crowd. Do you see what I mean? What works one time in a conversation with them might not work the next because they are in a totally different mood...So just as you think you have one person worked out and know what makes them tick, they change on you. Some people (maybe yourself) find this very hard to cope with.

If you find yourself feeling happy most of the time, then don't worry about it. Obviously at this time in your life, you don't need an outside relationship. Enjoy your books, music, whatever and get to know yourself...That is a lot more valuable than getting to know someone else. It's very powerful...

Maybe you can show this to your loved ones and it will help ease their minds...

Take care!

2007-03-21 00:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by Poppy7 3 · 0 0

I'm the exact same way these days. I have friends back home, but at school, I just want to be left on my own. I had some friends last semester, but they didn't like that I had to focus less on them and more on me so I could get better, and I've just decided I don't want the pressure right now.

But you're not the only one. The only reason your family is telling you to do that is because it's out of the ordinary, and it's typical for people to want others to be 'normal'. Have you tried explaining to them that this is the way you feel right now, and when you feel like going out and making friends, you will? It might help if they know how you feel and why you're acting the way you are. But you're not a freak for wanting to be alone. There are a ton of people out there just like that.

2007-03-20 23:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by dancerhelen2006 3 · 0 0

There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to be alone. I love being alone, and I live alone. I understand this need and I think many of us are born with it.

I have had the same problem with family and after a while they finally decided to just leave me alone about going out.

My parents are both gone but Im getting a puppy in April so that will make my family.

Good Luck

2007-03-21 00:04:16 · answer #5 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 0 0

While it is normal to want to be alone, and sometimes to be as far from another living person as you possibly can, you will also find that everyone needs companionship some times, so I think you are really only going through a phase right now.

Friendships are not as hard to keep as you seem to think, so even if you don't want to hear this from anyone here, you should try and make friends with a few people, if not now, then when you feel you are ready to.

2007-03-20 23:47:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lief Tanner 5 · 1 0

Many great people have lead mostly solitary lives. It isn't that unusual or wrong, unlike the general public try to label it. I enjoy time to myself, as there is nobody to argue with me for one. Read books about hermits perhaps, there are a few out there (books & hermits). Everyone is happy at times, and everyone is sad at times, so don't expect it to be perfect, but you may not be particularly unhappy alone.

Do what YOU want is my advice to you.

Don't burn all of your bridges, perhaps remember to keep in touch with those who are close to you. If you have a change of heart in the future and find it hard going, then you can get right back in there- I'm sure you will find people you can just talk to, without much effort being necessary. People who are like you, and accept/understand you for the way you are, not for being who they want you to be.

When alone and in reflection, I find one realises yourself and creates character, as you tend to learn and understand more, so you become more appealing to others when you socialise in the future..

2007-03-20 23:54:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hi-
As long as you are SERIOULSY happy with your life right now- I don't see any problem with you just living your life how you are living it.
That said... if your living your life through a computer (games like WOW-and spending lots of chat time and answers time) then you are in need of F2F friendships.
My son gets engulfed in WOW to the point of his friends coming by and I say he doesn't wanna hang- at times. That's not right all the time- but maybe sometimes is ok.
Just depends what else you are spending yout time doing.

2007-03-20 23:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by Mommyk232 5 · 0 0

It's perfectly normal. I feel happier alone too. I don't have any friends because i don't want them. I've had them and it just seems easier to be alone.
I'm not a people person. Your mom and sister probably don't like to be alone and need to have people around to make them happy that's why they tell you to make friends because they probably get sad when they're alone and they feel that you are the same. Just tell them that you like to be alone because it makes you happier.

2007-03-20 23:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

the problem is that women need the constant approval they get from friends, this is why they look for the cute guy, the rich guy, or the athletic guy, so they can show off their trophy, They can't understand a guys concept of " I can do it myself" and self satisfaction. this is why they pressure you. its actually foreign to them. their whole existence is based on popularity. Fortunately some women have slipped through the cracks and those are the one that guys can be buddies with, and would make for an excellent partner, cause they enjoy alone time as much as they enjoy a night out.

2007-03-20 23:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by jglassdude 3 · 0 1

Your family may be worried that you are alone because you are unhappy. I grew up in a large family and never was alone. I got married and had babies. I was never alone. My kids are grown and now my job requires me to travel. I am alone all the time. People told me that I was going to be miserable because I didn’t know what it was like to be without everyone around… I love my job. It has brought sanity to my like LOL If you are content with yourself, alone time is a great thing. Social interaction is important. Don’t become a Howard Hughes, but it’s okay to be alone.

2007-03-20 23:50:50 · answer #11 · answered by Nanni 2 · 1 0

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