Martial Arts and kids who are already "violent"........?

Question

My son is constantly in trouble at preschool for being "rough" and jumping on/wrestiling with the other kids. I'm sure he gets this from his father's house because we don't allow it at my house. (I'm remarried)
Anyway, I want to put him into "TIny Tigers" which is a program for 3-4 year olds. His father is DEAD SET against it, saying he has enough of an issue with "fighting" and "wrestling" as it is. I say martial arts is good for discipline and respect and my husband agrees.
Should we sign him up for the free trial month without his dad knowing and see what happens? My relationship with my ex is VERY volatile, so communicating with him is NOT an option.
I have a restraining order against him for domestic violence and child abuse, but he is mandated by the court to have visitation/joint custody.

Answer 1

Bad idea. Way until he's a little more physically and mentally mature for Karate. The only thing teaching it to an already violent kid will do is encourage the bad behavior. I'd say consider other sports like maybe soccer or football

Answer 2

Martial Art are great for that sort of child. It will train discipline and respect. I start ATA Taekwondo as a counseling kinda thing because i was a "troubled" child. getting in trouble running away and fighting with my parents. I WOULD PUT YOUR CHILD IN TINY TIGERS. I'm sure you will see and improvement. And you can always talk to his instructor and tell him that he needs a little work on discipline. Go for it and see if there is a difference. It helped me out SO much... and I stick with it because it helps me with goal setting and self-confidence! I'm sure that his father that is having issues against it may start seeing improvements also. The only issue would be that on the days he sees his dad he might not get to go to class. work with the instructor and see if he can't help keep him caught up or take classes on different days. He is your son too.

Answer 3

My children are Martial Artists. They are 4 and 9. My eldest child had severe emotional problems when her dad left, and I put her in a Martial Arts program (on a fluke)
It was the best thing I ever did for her! She went from a hostile 5 year old who ripped shelves off of her walls, tore up her room, hit me repeatedly, and terribly mean to her then infant sister- to a well rounded, talented, self assured and balance young girl. She will be a black belt in 15 months-
A good Martial arts program teaches children self defense as the only time to use these skills and teaches them self discipline and respect.
Don't bother letting your Ex in on the decision- If anything Martial Arts can teach your son appropriate placement of anger- and hopefully break the cycle of domestic violence that he has probably witnessed. My kids love it!!

Answer 4

W/ preschool, his little life is already busy enough, paying for this or that lesson is no solution. You shouldn't just ignore the father. Although some people who advise you to practice deceit towards his father also talk about how well adjusted their children are. He should go to his room immediately after school for one hour if you get a bad report from the teacher. I have personally known a boy who took martial arts for years, his behavior did not improve. Sounds like your son has lots of pent up energy. I made sure my kids had access to swings and playgrounds every day at that age, he's a small child. he doesn't need karate, he needs outdoor rough and tumble play time. Someone owes him this time to supervise him out there. Save karate for ages 8 or 9.

Answer 5

GO FOR IT!! I have a Daughter who is ADHD and I put her in the little kickers program in a local Karate Studio. It is a Great move because they will learn self control, and it seems to make an agressive child alot less so in a very short time.
They also learn Self Esteem, self respect, respect for others, teamwork, perserverance; and believe it or not it will help theme to focus, and in school it really makes a differance.
NOTHING BUT GOOD, the only thing you have to lose is the bad behavior.

Answer 6

Yes, because in my opinion the Orient is the most disciplined and smartest race there is. It is scientifically proven because the size of their cerebrums. The instructor will refuse to train people with the wrong mentality and they have a very keen insight. This would teach him control, discipline, respect, structure, pride, integrity,etc.---the list goes on.

Answer 7

Who is has primary custody? If its you, its your choice, forget what he thinks.

Martial Arts is not a place where someone goes and learns more effecitive ways to beat somone up. Trust me, it will teach him discipline. In most any form of martail Arts you are taught that physical confontation is only a last resort. That it is not meant to be used in order to show someone how tough you are, if you truely want to show them how tough you are, show them how a real man will turn and walk away when that option is still avalable. In short, yes, send him, see how it goes, I'm sure it will help him.

Answer 8

You should definitely sign him up for the class----martial arts also concentrates on controlling the student actions

Answer 9

The martial arts studios in my area will not accept children who are 'violent' (your word, not mine). In fact, they are very strict about that policy, because they don't want to be responsible for teaching a child who is already violent how to fight better.

Answer 10

I think you should do it, but your ex will probably find out. Maybe he doesn't like it because it's your idea. If it works, he can't reasonably disagree with it.