2007-03-20 15:54:32 · 12 answers · asked by phantom stranger 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Let's see... 20 years ago there was about 75 % less hate crimes, gangsters, drive bys, and kids killing kids, you know why because I know when I was a kid I got my *** Whooped if I even thought about stepping out of line. No this whole time out, corner bullcrap is just teaching our children they have the power over us as adults. And they are proving it each day that another school shooting happends, or when you read... " 15 year old boy shot to death in gangster shoot out!" My mother in-law called the cops one night on my 16 year old sister for running away, the cops reply to my sister was..."Dont worry they cant lay a hand on you..." Now whos side is our law enforcement on?????? Really... So if you are ready for a self destructed world, keep placing your child in time out! But if you want to do somthing about your childs behavor.... spank his BUTT!!!
2007-03-20 16:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by moorememories2006 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If time out and all these other methods people have came up with now days doesn't work I would resort back to spankings-not beatings. I remember getting spankings and switches and quite frankly it did a good job. . I usually listened because I knew if I didn't what was coming. Spare the rod spoil the child.
2007-03-20 23:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by Caleb's Mommy 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Positive reenforcement works well. I have a "good day" chart that I use. When my kids don't brake any rules, i give them a sticker. When they get 10, i reward them with something special like a movie rental or something. When they do brake a rule, they get a time out and no sticker. Be consistant, that is the most important thing! And Remember too, that most misbehavior stems from bordem, so do something with them like go outside to play, have them help you cook, give them their own cleaning supplies to help you clean, or let them help you "pay the bills". Give them some paper, a pen, and a calculator so they can do their own bills.
2007-03-21 03:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by trehuginhipee 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Whenever I ever saw a child acting up when I was little, my mom would say that if I ever acted like that my teeth would be on the floor. I believed her and never did anything to get in trouble. I didn't want to see if see was telling the truth or not. Anyway that worked for me.
2007-03-20 23:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by me 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Time out usually works for me. Not all the time but most of the time. My daughters getting into that "terrible twos" stage where she'll throw tantrums every now and again. When she starts throwing a tantrum for no reason at all I just sit her in her chair and she stays there until she calms down. It usually takes 5-10 mins.
2007-03-20 22:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Stand them in the corner or take away privileges, such as tv, video games, etc.
2007-03-20 23:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by bubba23111 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
take there toys away... i dont have kids but when my little brotehr is bad.. ill take away his game cube and game boy and have him sit in my room with me and watch watever im watching... it really works.. he usually would rather be good then sit and be bored with me
2007-03-21 15:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by lovepixiek 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have asked a very simple, vague question... I am sure you did not expect anyone to say that your question is vague, I do not mean to offend... but, you ask a blanket statement question.....
if you take all the good answers here that I saw; no anger and consistent, time outs... etc. you would be right.... but you would want to add another answerers depends on the age and offense.... reward system.......
I would add even more; depends on the child... in all the years I have either assisted with helping children (ie, younger siblings changing them, playing with them from seven years old) or taking care of them... my first babysitting "Job" that paid and I was left in charge (outside of family) I was nine.... I have thirty years of tending to, chasing after, caring for and teaching babies/toddlers/children.........
we term it "discipline" but really they are only learning and we are teaching, guiding and loving our children... correctin the bahavior or "offense" and showing them how/why it was the incorrect way and what the correct procedure/behavior is.....
I have six beautiful, smart, curious children... who have no fear of heights, large puppies and have brilliantly wonderful imaginations and tend to bore when they have no challenges to face, or world's to save..... this lead to a lot of scrapes, scratches, boo-bbos in general... it also leads to a lot of rule breaking too.... the age ranges are 1,3,4,8,10 and 15....
not one of these children has been disciplined the same as the others....
why?
they are not the same person.. they do not respond the same in any given situation... why would I try to use a cookie cutter type mold to fit each of them?
where one responds to the reward only... another needs to have the reason re-enforced and needs the consequence/reward system... another may need to have privileges revoked due to severity...
whatever the situation the tools I use are; words, reasons, re-enforcement of proper way... and I do this using star/smiley charts for one.. dino/truck chart for another.... check plus/minus for others.... I give "chances" to redeem the negative for the older children if they break a rule (they do not often, since I have very few, very simple ones)but if someone has gotten bored or in not in a good mood and so does not cotrol their temper, or lashes out.. or decides to outright break a rule, such as not come home after before going to a friend's house... first we sit, talk and try and find out why it happened... if there is anger, sour feelings the first step is actually a time out and after that come to where I am and we proceed with the "why" then I explain why what the occured was wrong and we "brain storm" for ideas on how in the future it can be better handled... we do this step together in the hopes that the child having some control over the what happens in the future also has the burden if the solution is not done/carried out...
time outs I use for "thinking" and "cooling down" times... not just for the children, for me as well...
groundings I use only if the same offense/issues keep occuring over and over and again I discuss the what/when/where/why and how <--how to gain early release... lol....
I do not take my children's possessions unless the offense is not taking care of their things... no reason to in my own opinion... I wouldn't go to the neighbor's and say you haven't cleaned your yard... so I am taking your gameboy.... I have always had limits on the electronics so that they conistently have the you will be allowed "x" amount of time on this as long as your grades are kept to your personal best, your responsibilities are met (chores/jobs) and there are no other "issues" <--fighting, arguing bickering with siblings would be the biggest.. if however, you do not meet those requirements your gameboy/xbox/gamecube/computer privileges will be revoked and at that point you and I will determine neccessary steps to earn back the privileges lost
the babies and toddlers do not really "do" anything wrong.. how can they? they are not born knowing "I better not take all the food from the fridge and throw the eggs against the wall to see what happens.... while the dogs run off with tonights dinner and the milk gets spilled all over and mom is trying to bathe the baby" lol.....okay... made that one up rally from a whole slew of individual things done... the eggs... yeah.. it was one incident... the now three yr old was able to ope fridge, get the eggs... and dropped one by accident... so, it became his favorite thing to take them out and throw them on the floor...... "action/reaction" although it angered me... and he should not have wasted the food.. he did not know... until that moment... and his "punishment"? well he had wanted to eat those eggs... he learned what happens to food thrown on the floor and that he does not get them if he does that... lol
a more often and real toddler one?
walls, floors even drawing, coloring, painting..... first two children I just gave them a wall in the house and the first time I caught them drawing on my walls I showed them theirs and told them.. you can draw on paper or here.. no where else.. deal? and we shook on it.. never had that issue again with either... we did not have a wall for the children third on.. so, it bacame an issue.... after much "mommy, isn't it beautiful, I drew it for you!" and watching that proud smile vanish when faced with now you have to help wash it off..... they learn.. and I sneak and take pictures of their art.. and explain why they should not do that... but I do not "punish" or timeout, or "discipline" the toddler/child... I teach...
on very rare occassions I have had to resort to corporal consequences.... my eldest has had one spanking/butt smacking from me in all her fifteen years.... it was when she was little and kept reaching to pull pans from the stove... she was three almost four... the first time she did it, I pulled her away, I told her "no, ouchie" I thought it was a done deal.. until two days later she did it again.. I did the same thing and added "hot" and we ran the hot water and she tried to touch it... pulled away and said she would not do it again... toddlers having immense curiousity and short memory... she did it a week later.. I told her that since she did it three time now and mommy said no... I would have make sure she does not do it again... I told her sorry and spanked her... I am not sure which of us cried harder... after I told her that pan would ouchie more than the spanking... she never touched the stove again.. no, really, she can't cook even now...lol...
I do use that tool though, along with all those ways I try and guide my children to doing what is right.. to get them to the point where they do their own "critical" thinking and make the correct/right choices on their own
oh and distraction... babies/toddlers.. easily distracted and forget their "target" lol.. mission achieved... without confrontation, conflict...
older children, well they are doing wht they should as well.. push the limits, see where their world ends/begins... the boundaries.... and ask "why" and when/if faced with what they feel is an unjustified reason/rule... push it/break it... fight against it... justify it's existence... my job, again... guide.. teach... show them the right way... give them the tools to understand why it is a rule/law... and the correct ways of fighting a rule they do not agree with...
"praise" on the other hand is not in the mix.. a child should and needs praise always, even when done incorrectly... it is how they learn to identify with themselves... their world.. and "love" with all the self esteem, confidence everyone should have....
so, the way I "discipline children" is really vague.. it depends on the offense, the age, the personality of the child.. how does that child "learn" hands on, listening or reading? how... is the child shy? has the child ever known it was wrong to do whatever "it" is? if so does the child know "why" if not, after talking does the child understand...? is it a houserule, personal rule, law outside the house? how "horrid" was/is it?? there are so many factors that would need to be considered to determine the course of action best suited for the child/toddler/baby....
the biggest part of it is to teach (discipline and rewards) with consistent measures, never in anger, always with a level head and understanding from all angles.. always so the child understands clearly what occured, why it was "wrong" or incorrect, how it should or could have been done differently to have avoided this... what consequence will help to remember this, and what can/will be done in the future instead of this... mutually respectful of the other and their role...
thank you very much for taking the time to read this
I hope it has assisted you
good luck
2007-03-21 09:38:03 · answer #8 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
start when they are very young make rules and stick to them
do not let them run over you
2007-03-20 23:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
it depends on the age and the situation.
2007-03-20 22:58:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋