What do I do? I've decided not to tell her how I feel, It won't change anything, I think?

Question

Two sides of me are telling me to try because I love her and the other is saying there must be a good reason for my benefit she's gone and let her stay gone. What happened between us was I've liked her since I was 15 and she was 15, when we met, and 4 months into the year 2006 (we were both 16) we talked but after that I did something by mistake, she got mad at me, and I gave her space. When I tried to talk to her she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I've tried to move on but I feel like I need her friendship back. Could I have given her too much space (a month and a half), to where she'd think I must not care since I didn't try my hardest to get her back, and that's why she said she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. By the way, when I talked to her online after that about it, she always responded when I said something. Sometimes it seems like she may want to talk to me, and maybe if I just start a casual conversation (instead of saying how I feel) it could work out.

My mistake was; she told me 11 months ago she told me she was falling in love with someone else (she still talks to him but she's never seriously dated him and she's single) assuming I wouldn't say anything and I told a friend assuming he wouldn't say anything because I needed to talk to someone because I fell in love with her. I didn't know not to say anything or I wouldn't have. He said something about it around her and she got mad at me. She ignored me for a week, then talked to me uninterested one day ( I was going to say "I love you"), so I gave her a month and a half space.

My mom said when she was younger, there were boys she just didn't want to talk to anymore for no reason, just like the girl I fell in love with and can't seem to let go. She also said this boy told her how he felt about her and she still didn't want to talk to him. So I'm not going to tell this girl how I feel about her because I it won't work. It's just that today I saw her talking, touching and playing with other boys and even though it don't mean nothing except she likes them in a slightly-more-than-friends but-still-not-boyfriend kind of way, it still gets to me because I'm not one of the boys she's flirting with. I can't get her off my mind. I saw her sneak at least 2 looks in my direction though (and it's one of several times I've caught her on separate occasions). I keep asking myself "She never liked you like you liked her, she told you she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, why don't you just forget her? The answer keeps coming back, "Because I miss her and I love her."

(stop here if you want)
I have the strangest feeling (or delusion, or soon to be dashed hope) that she may want to talk to me if I just be myself to her and act confident and unafraid she won't talk to me, you know, almost like I don't care. She always looks at me from a distance but looks at me then turns away (sometimes) when we're up close. But if I say hi most of the time she'll say hi back. We haven't talked for 11 months as of today because I been to scared to just approach her directly. We were only friends before, and that's all I want back. I think I should call her but what if someone else calls or she doesn't answer? What if I IM her and she doesn't answer? I really want to try just walking up to her but how can I when she's always with a girlfriend, unless it's one that likes me then I should just go for it?

Answer 1

Wow! I've read everything... And I could tell you to just walk up to her and tell her... But such an answer would be foolish on my part....

Look you miss her a lot... And as I can tell you are a very nice person... And all I can tell you is:

If you really feel this way... Try to just keep in contact, talk to her on a basic level before you spill the beans. Because if you spill the beans too soon... It might scare her away...

However, I want to say this much... If she isn't the type that can appreciate you, Then it is her loss and their will be someone out there that can offer you much more... You just gotta face the facts of life and keep pushing forward....

Answer 2

If you want my advice, talk to the girl and let her know exactly how you feel. Get everything out on the table so she knows exactly what's going on. If she likes you, then your great. If she turns you down, then at least you know that you're not still wasting your time on a hopeless cause. Face it, she'll never know exactly how you feel, until you tell her. It's either now or later, but either way, it'll still be the same reaction. Good luck buddy.

Josh