Do other people hassle you about how many kids you have?

Question

I have heard complaints from other people---read, actually--- on Internet forums about other people making remarks about them having only one kid, no kids at all, or whatever. I have never seen this happen in real life, though. Then again, most of the people that I am around are pretty live-and-let-live and generally don't get into other people's business.

So, my question is, does this happen to you? And how do you handle it?

Answer 1

Hasn't happened to me for many, many years! I'm 38, single by choice, no kids, hardly even dated when I was a teenager, and back when I was 16-18 there were a few folks who asked me regularly if I had a boyfriend yet, and said 'if you don't hurry, you'll be left alone'. It was pretty good-natured, although one dude said it often enough it was a little irritating sometimes. This was only in a small community where I rode horses; in the larger nearby town where I lived I can't recall anyone ever mentioning it... or anywhere else afterwards. Maybe it's a small-town thing?

Answer 2

I also read some of those types of complaints when I browse through the Internet forums. I don't see them constantly, but they do pop up every now and then. Honestly, I don't have kids, and people never hassle me about it. Sometimes they ask me when I'm getting married. I honestly don't know what they expect me to answer that with. It's not like I know that on July 1, 2009 I'll meet the woman of my dreams and get married. lol

When people ask me about the marriage thing, I just shrug my shoulders and say "I don't know." I would be a smart *ss about it, but I would feel guilty about it afterward, so I don't. If anyone said anything about kids, I would probably just shrug and excuse myself from the conversation.

But really, I think the people that would criticize you for having no kids, one kid, lots of kids, or whatever are just a very vocal minority. Most people couldn't care less what you do in your private life.

Answer 3

I have seen the opposite. I don't have children yet, but I plan on it in a few years. A friend of mine knows this. I choice to be a teacher, she a high ranking position of a big marketing firm. She told me, I was making a wrong choice b/c even if I had summer's off, I won't enjoy them b/c I won't be making a large salary and I would have 4 kids running around.

I was insulted. She is the type of person that only plans on having 1 child, if that. I find people w/ no kids are more critical of those who choose to have a family.

Answer 4

I come from a family of four siblings. My mom has seven. I really enjoy family reunions and seeing all my cousins. The neat thing about having brothers and sisters is that as we get older, we put away all the rivalry and realize that we are the ones that will have to take care of mom and dad in their old age. It's always nice to know that there is someone there to rely on. I know a lot of only-child friends and they are worry about having to do everything by themselves.

Lately, I've read quite a few comments on Angelina and Brad adopting again. Many of the comments said they have too many children. Can you honestly say to parents that they don't have enough love for their children? That makes me angry that people can be so judgmental.

Answer 5

I have 2, and won't be having any more. The oldest 6 years old, and the other is 6 months old. When I had an only child, people harrassed me, asking "Why won't you give him a sibling?" Six years later, I did, then they said "You waited too long, now they won't have anything in common". Now the annoying question is "You have two boys, why not try for a girl?" It never ends, no matter what.

I will now adopt a female puppy, and tell the others to shut up.

Answer 6

I am 31 years old, have 3 children and would like to have 1 or 2 more. People who have no children or 1 child think I'm crazy for having 3 let alone wanting to have more. My friends say I'm too old to be having more kids ( they all have children much older than mine). Total strangers see me out with my children and say things like "You poor thing, you must be exhausted" or "Looks like you've got your hands full". I usually respond with a smile, but there have been times that I've asked people why they feel the need to critique my reproductive choices only to receive blank stares in return. I think people should realize that people's choices to have children whether it be 1,2 or 13 are just as legitimate and private as it is to decide to never have children. Different strokes for different folks.

Answer 7

I'm 42 years old, happily married, and child-free. For over 20 years people have told me that it is "unnatural" to not want any children. They say that I am selfish and that I don't know what I'm missing. They feel that my life is empty. I disagree.

Usually, I respond that not everyone would make a good parent and tell them all of the advantages that I have being child-free. I tell them to have an extra child to cover for my lack of children. Usually, I just say that it is a very personal choice. But nothing ever really works. They still want to convince me to have children. Luckily, now that I'm getting older, I don't have to put up with it very often. I simply remind them of the increased risk of Downs Syndrome to babies born to mothers that are over 40.

Answer 8

Sounds like this Vlad child is a schmuck, and now not valued at a while and concentration. Best to disregard him. He's lonely, bored, and watching for an effortless goal. Don't permit him make you that goal.

Answer 9

I don't have kids. I don't think I ever will have them. I just don't like kids all that much. Whenever I tell people this, they always say: "you are only 25, you'll change your mind" or "that's so awful, how can you not want kids?" or "what does your husband think?" Like it's their business. It aggravates me sometimes but, usually I just laugh it off. People just can't grasp the concept that one's reproductive choices are none of their g-damn business. Don't sweat it.

Answer 10

I find that people who put their noses where it doesn't belong often provoke others to do the same. I think these people tend to not see their own role in the problem.