I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and half and things have been amazing for most of that time.He's the sweetest,most thoughtful,caring,lovable,affe... and protective guy I know.He treats me like a queen.He was also physically and emotionally abused as a child by his dad.He's never shown any abusive traits whatsoever and would pretty much die before he'd ever lay a hand on me.
Last Friday we went clubbing and some guy started flirting with me.Out of no where my boyfriend showed up and decked him.I though he was just acting jealous and got incredibly pissed off at him.When we got back to my place he was trying to explain to me that he saw the guy spike my drink,the same guy that was trying to flirt with me but I wouldn't let him.I accused him of being just like his dad and that just about killed him.He's never told anyone about the abuse but me.He told me why he did it,walked out and hasn't spoken to me since.What can I do to fix this?Have I done the unforgiveable?
2007-03-20 15:08:39 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only thing you can do is say your sorry...Give it time, he may just get over this...
2007-03-20 17:39:28 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's afraid that he exposed a fact from his past and now he wishes he never did that. Too late. It was done. Also, he might have wanted to do the right thing (I can't be sure there was really a spiked drink in all of this - he might have made that up to cover his butt) but got embarassed that it was the wrong thing.
He was probably wrong in the situation but any other guy might have done the same thing and been wrong too. Just that he's carrying so much baggage with him from his past that he's very sensitive about it. Maybe it will always be a problem that he's too sensitive about some things. It might cause problems in your relationship but maybe you two could handle those problems. I think it's going to be hard to get an apology through to him but if you do apologize, tell him it's still wrong to deck somebody in a bar. Grab the drink if you think it's spiked or call the guy on it (he'd have to prove the drink was spiked) but no physical violence. You'd be in the right saying that. But you could still apologize for using that fact against him when he trusted you with it. Good luck!
2007-03-28 11:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have compared him to his dad, for one. Two, he did it because he loves you and was trying to protect you. Sometimes a guy gets out of control when he sees someone try to hurt their girl. He's never hurt you. You need to have a talk with him. If he won't talk to you, at least leave him a note, send a letter/e-mail. It's up to him to decide how much he loves you then. You seriously need to make it up to him big time. He is obviously nothing like his father, and was doing everything to not become him. You should've been more grateful to him for loving you enough to punch someone who was TRYING TO HURT YOU!
Now, if he had let the guy spike your drink, and this guy would have done a lot of stuff to you that you would regret today, how do you think he would have felt, and how would you have felt about your boyfriend now? Think about it.
2007-03-28 12:38:56 · answer #3 · answered by Fully Aware 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know for sure if he'll ever forgive you, but all you can do is try to apologize and let him know how sorry you were for what you said to him. When guys open up and tell a girl about something personal and difficult in their life, they don't expect that the girl will throw it up in their face or use that information to hurt them. This is true for everyone, really. You learned a very important life lesson, one worth remembering the rest of your life.
Try different ways of reaching him and telling him how sorry you are, that you were a fool, that you realize how badly you hurt him, and that you're sorry you ever said it. Perhaps he may see your remorse and sincerity, and give you another chance. But don't blow it next time. Try to make it up to him anyway you can !!!
2007-03-27 16:23:23 · answer #4 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya you basically have its no fair that he was trying to protect you and you accused him of something that hurt him in a way that he thought you would never use his secret agenist him and now your basically telling the whole world that he was abused as a child which im sure he will never forgive you for either
2007-03-28 10:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Angel eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear.Pretty nasty of you to compare him to his father over one incident in 18 months!!You really need to do some serious apologising.This guy sounds great,especially since he seems to have broken the cycle.He was trying to protect you.Not that it makes it right hitting him,but if he is not the violent type,it goes to show how much he cares for you.Don't let this be the end for you guys-try really hard to earn his forgivness.
2007-03-20 21:49:25 · answer #6 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though he knocked old dude out, if he told you the reason why he did it you suppose to roll with what your man said. he was protecting you, and you said it yourself he a great guy and sounds awesome. . . .girl you messed up! you have to write him a letter, broadcast it on the tv, or take out a big ad in the paper but you have to show him your sorry and it may take some time cuz you threw his past, which he shared with you, privatley, in his face, thats a no! no! good luck boo!!! let us know how this turns out!
2007-03-27 11:27:09 · answer #7 · answered by Cutie Pie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u screwed urself....he mite forgive u if ur sincere and really sorry, but im wit the dude...that guy mite have been flirtin wit u but id be happy if ( i was a girl) my boyfriend cared enough 2 hit anotha guy in public
2007-03-28 10:51:19 · answer #8 · answered by lilshawty l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Violet,
You have decided to put yourself in a losing situation. For him to hit somebody ...he is a jerk...if you call the police..he can be arrested. It may be hard for you...and you may be lonely for awhile......BUT...anybody that would hit somebody is in the wrong...except to defend my women's honor.
As to spiking your drink.....he is making that up....you drank the drink and you were fine.
2007-03-28 12:05:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems he really loves you ...
you just go to him and say sorry ...
he will definitely understand you try to explain what went through your mind in that moment ...
a 5 letter word will always help you just go and say SORRY
2007-03-28 11:23:14 · answer #10 · answered by Life sucks . but u gonna love it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋