what was the most funniest joke that made you LAUGH OUT LOUD?

Answer 1

what did the lawyer name his daughter? sue

Answer 2

Deadly mushrooms?
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."



blonde joke

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had never paid for them yet.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm a woman
doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
Helllooooo"? (I told him.) "It's been a year!"

There was only silence at the other end of
the line, so I finally just hung up... he hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet
he won't underestimate a woman anymore.


Joke...What size do you want?
A woman is smoking a cigarette at a bus-stop when it starts to rain. A man is doing the same, and when he feels the first drop of rain, he takes a con#om out of his pocket, tears the end off and slips it over his cigarette to keep it dry.
"What a great idea," thinks the woman and hurries over to a chemist's shop. "Can I have a packet of con#oms," she says to the sales assistant.
"Certainly madam," he says. "What size?"
The woman replies "One that will fit a Camel."

Answer 3

ok, i got this one from my friend. note, it uses the phrase "nuts". so dont get upset and report me. a man is walking on a road. he is lost. he finds a house where a man and his daughter welcome him in. the man says he will be staying with his daughter but if he sleeps WITH her he will have to endure the most painful torture known to man. the man sleeps with the other mans daughter anyway and when he wakes up he finds a big rock on his chest. attached is a note. the note says: torture test #1: rock on chest. the man throws the rock off his chest and out the window. he sees a second note that says: torture test #2: left nut tied to rock. thinking he needs it, he jumps out the window. on the way down he finds a note on his leg saying: torture test #3: right nut tied to bed...........ow...

Answer 4

Tossing the bricks and parrot on a plane

People don't get it though.