10 points to BEST CONSIDERATE ANSWER!!!?

Question

So there's this guy that I like.Problem is, he's been burned my love BIG TIME and he's afraid to love again.How do I get him to open up to me and realize that he needs love, and I won't hurt him like she did? I've known him since I was little, but we just started talking again.HELP PLEASE! 10 points 2 BEST ANSWER!!

Answer 1

Read this part of your question:

"How do I get him to open up to me and realize that he needs love, and I won't hurt him like she did?"

You don't, at least not directly. He's not going to trust anyone right away, and the only way you can get him to "open up" and "admit he needs love" is by getting him to trust you.

So how do you get him to trust you? By earning that trust. He'll make up his own mind; all you can be is a trustworthy person, and assume he'll notice sooner or later.

Meanwhile, how do you know he needs love? YOU might need love, but you can't speak for him. Sometimes people are in a place where they need to keep to themselves, and work out their own problems at their own pace. Forcing your idea of him "need(ing)" something that, surprise surprise, you can provide is to subjugate his own needs in favor of yours. Which is an inherently selfish act, and just the kind of thing he's distrustful about right now.

So back off, and be his friend, and be supportive, and be trustworthy. Go out, have a good time, but let him heal -- and learn to trust -- at his own pace.

Answer 2

Hey, you need to just be there for him right now, with understanding and support. I know that you like the guy but when you have been hurt by love it is killer pain. Just take things with him slowly don't try and push him into a relationship with you right away just take things one step at a time.

If you try to spoil him with so much love and attention at this point that will only push him further from you.

He needs time and if you want to be with him just be patient right now and give him all the support that you can offer but remember this as well he will need time to himself.

Good luck.

Answer 3

The points don't mean diddly to me.I can reassure you, this will take time.His trust level is probably close to zero.Being burned by love is a deep,gaping wound that doesn't heal quickly.Believe it or not it's similar to losing a loved one by death.There are stages to go through to heal.Everyone heals at thier own pace.I would suggest letting him know that you are there for him for whatever but don't push your feelings to hard.In a subtle way,put the "ball in his court" and let him come to you when and if he is ready.It's better to wait until he is willing rather than not at all.

Answer 4

In my opinion (I have a very sensitive brother) with a guy like this that has been burned so badly you truly have to be their best friend. When you can achieve that he might be able to move on and turn your friendship into a relationship. But you have to be willing to put in the time. It is not going to happen over night. It is going to take a bond of TRUST!!!

Answer 5

the best thing to do is let him know he wont feel any better by not loving again because he probably thinks that all girls are the same now. He needs to be able to open up to a different type of love

Answer 6

to tell you the truth, no one can just tell you what to do cause everyone dont know. but im going through something like what you speak of. you just have to show him that there is still good women out here and be true to what it is that you say and do,cause the first inconsistance it over he will not trust you and he will shut down again. try to get him to open up with you about some things first. then just be so nice and loving. compilment him on how good he looks, how good he smells, call him some mornings to say good morning, i just called to tell you to have aday as beautiful as you. say it so sexy, and you will hear it in his voice that it hit him were it counts, keep up little things like this and you will have him in no time.....

Answer 7

Yes, my pricey, you're falling in love...however preserve at the quality velocity you're on for the reason that you wish to ensure that he's at the equal web page. Don't fear approximately deciding or probing him with questions or sly pointers to take a look at and discover out, permit it occur clearly. The slower it is going with out preventing, the extra truly and cast a basis it's going to be for you men while you simply each discover that "WOW! We are quality in combination!" These emotions are so quality while you get them and, as a man, I too can say that we get that particularly quality feeling, too, while a date is solely stuffed with stressless dialog and refined flirting that indicates curiosity with out attempting to hurry some thing or play like we're older than we particularly are. Alot of persons are jealous of you and must be. This comes alongside so not often int a life-time. Continue to be yourselves, take a look at to not be in a rush to undertake a identify as "bf/gf", and it's going to all fall into position! I love listening to studies like this! Good good fortune to you and your new man!

Answer 8

Just be his friend. Don't throw yourself at him or pretend to be something you aren't. A little extra attention is nice but don't go out of your way. Let him come to you by letting him know you are there for him anytime he needs to talk or whatever.....pretty soon he'll get the idea

Answer 9

Well really he needs to learn to be friends with girls again so I would suggest going over to his table at lunch (IT WOULD HELP IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND THERE) and start hanging out with his friends and stuff and then eventually start asking him and his other friends to go to the mall or the movies or something and then when he starts to trust you take him out on a real date!

Answer 10

Remind him of how he felt while the girl wasn't hurting him when he was with her. He felt great love, make him feel like that with you all the time, let him make the moves and go at his own pace.