She is 18 and he is 30.....is that a ridiculously large age difference?

Question

Or, is it more of a question of maturity? If they are on the same level there, do you think that is generally okay? Or would people think odd things?

Answer 1

Sorry to sound a little rude here. This is not directed at you, it is just my opinion.
Everyone always bitches about age differences in a relationship. Why? Relationships are about LOVE, not AGE! If someone finds love with a person that is not in their own age group, should they have to tell him or her that they cannot be with them?
Anyone who disagrees with what I have said should at least let those who do find love with older/younger people love them without anyone interfering in their relationship.

Answer 2

Maybe, if she were a few years older, the 12 year age difference wouldn't matter. A person goes through so many changes in their twenties that that by the time she is 30, she will probably be a different person. I'm about to turn 32, and have been with my boyfriend since I was 22. While I still care about him, I have have changed and grown into a different (and I hope better) person than I was at 22. He has changed alot too between the ages of 23 and 33. Now our opinions and what we want/need out of life are so different that it is very difficult to make our relationship work. If we were not so committed to maintaining a stable home for our child, there is no way we would still be together.
I personally think that until both people are a little bit older, a large age difference is a bad idea.

Answer 3

Ye gods... It's only a 12 year difference... My friend is in her twenties and recently she went on a couple of dates with a man that was in his late 40's (yes, he was older than her dad!) Basically, as you pointed out, it is really a question of maturity - from both sides. Just let the 18 year old girl know that if the 30 year old man treats her really well, then it's going to be hard for her to get used to guys her age if this relationship ends. Also, the person that she is now, is not necessarily going to be the person she's going to be in 4 years, so I would not make any long term plans until she is at least out of college. That being said, I think that it's wonderful to be in a relationship with an older man because often times, it opens your eyes to all that a relationship can include.
As for people thinking odd things - unless the 30 year old man looks like he's 60 and the 18 year old girl looks like she's 15, there shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 4

A ridiculously large age difference, NO. But, are they at the same maturity level as the 30 yr old or the 18 yr old? People always think odd things. If they were 28 and 40 people wouldn't think it so odd though, so maturity levels are a big thing.

Answer 5

That was me about six years ago and many experiences back. A 12 year age difference isn't much when you compare 30 to 42. However, 18 to 30 is huge! You change so much from 18 - 25 you're not the same person.

Moreover, I question a man who wants to be with an 18 year old. The most obvious question is, besides sex and a trophy on his arm, what value does he get from someone who is just barely legal to vote?

Answer 6

Twelve years is a large age gap later in life. At 30, he is definitely a little to old to be serious with an 18 y/o girl. The major thing is the maturity difference. She has much more to look forward to than he does.

Answer 7

Well, my bf and I are 11 years apart, but we're much older (38 and 49), have both been divorced, and have kids the same age. The 18-year-old is barely an adult and has very few life experiences. The 30-year-old will likely bore of her mind, though interest in other parts of her may keep it going for a while.
Here's what "people will think," and it's not overly judgemental or generally inaccurate so to think:
He's in it for the nubile PYT, she's in it for the $$$!

Answer 8

NO. Of course its not ok. Any guy and i mean ANY guy who wants any type of relationship with a 18 year old girl is there for negative intentions. My god. Listen, maturity is more than liking grown up things, watching news, having a job and what not. Its understanding the basic human psychology, especially when in a relationship. Not to many realize it but that's what it means when it comes down to a relationship.

They only way you can get this is by being older and experiencing a lot. If you were mature enough to date him, you would know better than to open up to 30 year old guy.

I don't want to make you feel stupid so don't think im making fun, but listen to me when i say, there is negative intent if a 30 year old man wants a relationship with a 18 year old girl.

Answer 9

People will think odd things and its not so much of an age diffrence as it is a maturity diffrence if both of you are mature enough to handle the responsibility that comes with a relationship then it doesnt matter what others think but if one of you or both of you are to freaked out by what others think then you obvious are not ready for a relationship together

Answer 10

People will absolutely think it's crazy. That's none of their business though. Lately it seems like every couple I meet there is a 14 or 15 year age difference. I guess I just don't get it yet cause I'm 25 and that would mean either something illegal or a 40 year old. Which could be possible... but yeah... it's cool!

Answer 11

Well the good thing is that neither of them are minors. But like you said, it has a lot to do with maturity. All in all, age ain't nothing but a number. If their maturity level is relatively the same, then they can get through anything together.

Good luck! ;-) (if it's you)