I've prayed and I prayed, but God wont let me fire lasers from my armpits. God must not love me.
2007-03-20 13:58:42 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
sometimes u just have to glue the lasers under ur armpits urself
2007-03-20 15:17:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have not performed all the rituals, that's why your wish was not granted. You have to recite the rosary 1000 times, pray novenas to all the saints, make a pilgrimage to Mecca 10 times, fast for 3 months, light lots of incense in front of an offering of a roast pig and cow, read the entire Quran 10 times while prostrating yourself on a small carpet, making sure you orient yourself with a GPS to face the black rock located inside a temple in Saudi Arabia. No wonder you cannot fire lasers from you armpits!
2007-03-20 14:17:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you would have a better chance asking for lasers to come out of the palms of your hands. Reiki energy is real. It could be that energy like you want could come out of your hands. The big reason you are having a communication problem, is you are addressing a non spiritual being. God is just a title. You need the name to get answers. The Name. Good luck on that one, as no one seems to know. and God is not the name.
2007-03-20 14:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by out of service 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess he doesn't .cause I can fire lasers from my eyes and expel noxious fumes from my butt.Now the armpits,biological warfare.But keep trying life is after all like a box of chocolates.
2007-03-20 14:11:40 · answer #4 · answered by Robert C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because God doesn't do stuff like that. He could if He wanted, but that would be pointless now, wouldn't it, smart one? God doesn't work like that. He answers ALL prayers with either a yes, no, or not yet. He provides for what you need if you pray for it. And yes, God does love you. He loves everyone.
2007-03-20 14:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by em<3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God loves you. He just won't fund the implanting of lasers into your armpits. You have to join the CIA to get neat stuff like that. If they accept your application God will allow it.
2007-03-20 14:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
simple! ya have ta fire a bic under there first. And once you get Flame Out, then god will let ya fire lasers!
2007-03-20 14:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by pszch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because that where fire comes out, silly. The lasers come out of your nose. Doesn't everyone know that?
2007-03-20 14:02:11 · answer #8 · answered by Skyhawk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If God granted you such a wish, you'd be viewed as a superfreak and a superthreat to the human society. LOL!!!
2007-03-20 14:02:06 · answer #9 · answered by Bunnytoes:) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only time prayer actually works is so a football time can win a game.
Even then there is only a 50% chance that it will work.
2007-03-20 14:01:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋