I thought all guys loved sex???

Question

Hey

I have been with my bf for a year now and we spend every second together and are madly in love. The only thing is.. I don't think he is as in to sex as me.... in the past I have claimed that guys only seem to want one thing and was sick of "one-track minds" and was over the moon to meet my boyf, who is sensitive and romantic and doesn't have a huge history of sexual partners.

The only thing is.... Im the one who innitiates it 9 times out of 10. When it happens it is amazing but sometimes I think he isnt interested. He says im being silly cause we have sex 5 times a week but I feel like if he really loved me he would "want" me a lot more in a sexy way? My friends seem to be having sex 3 times a day and we only had it twice in a day once.. months and months ago. I know he is straight .. and faithful so it can't be that. His dad died suddenly last summer and he works full time and is studying full time too. Could it be stress? x

Answer 1

Might be tired after work,also if its good sometimes thats enough,sounds fairly normal to me,best wishes for the future.

Answer 2

Hey,give ur guy a break. . .5 times a week is more than twice the average and from what u say I do think he is stressed. As for ur friends who claim to be at it 3 times a day, I think they may be exaggerating the truth. Don't get hung up on sex cos apart from that u two appear to have a perfect relationship !

Answer 3

Sex is not everything. As you get older, you will realize that sex every day is not always enjoyable, and worse yet, your body, and his, simply do not want to work that way every day. Main thing here is this... do not apply the sex time of your friends to YOUR relationship. Friends have a bad habit of bragging and exaggerating how often they get "it". Focus more on the enjoyment of being together, instead of the bliss of the orgasm, and you will be happier in the long run. Dont forget to simply talk to him, see what sort of fantasies he has, and see if by doing some of the things he suggests, you can spark him up just a little.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Could be he is tired. Also if you are having sex 5 times a week he's happy with that and since you always initiate the sex he doesn't have too. (I wish you were my lady) If my lady was the one initiating the sex I'd be real happy too. It would feel great. Maybe that is the approach you should take let him know you would like to feel like he feels. He feels very sexy because you seem to want him all the time you'd like to feel that sexy with him wanting you.

You also need to understand that a guy hates to get himself worked up only to find out she doesn't want to that night. That is no fun. With you he doesn't have to take that chance.

Answer 5

Give the guy a break.
You are having sex more than most married couples after their initial "honeymoon" period, which, in spite of what you might be told, usually lasts less than the 12 months you have been together.
You've indicated several reasons why he might be less passionate than you would like. Allow that those might be OK.
"Intimacy" is very much more than "sex", and is more valuable to such a degree as to be incomparable.
Enjoy your intimacy, and focus less on incidentals.

Answer 6

It's a TRICK, I tellz ya! A TRICK! If he acts all cool he knows you'll throw yourself on him! I'm kidding. Seriously, you have described what most men live. Take it easy on the guy. Seriously, until he starts turning it down, don't sweat too much. Then, and only then, can you assume there is something wrong. Work and school are big responsibilities, especially if he's got his own bills. Just keep on dishing that stress relief. When he gets his degree, you'll be glad you did.

Answer 7

So u got sick of men that only wanted one thing on their mind and had no depth, and now u've got one who is romantic and sensitive and with whom you have great sex? But u don't like havin to initiate it it all the time? And because u have to, u feel that there's deep seeded problem between u and your bf that he's not talking about?

U CRAZY WOMAN!

Obviously he's attracted to u sexually, obviously he loves spending time with u, obviously he is just wat u wanted in a bloke. Stop trying to subconsciously sabotage it!!!

If he doesn't initiate as often as u'd like it's because.....he's not used to intiating because u always make the first move, maybe he thinks that's just how it works or that's just how u operate.

Maybe he really likes that you make the first move, I dunno but stop overthinkin it and tryin to find a problem that doesn't exist. Don't take this to him like a problem in a "I really wish u took control more...", that's whiny and doesn't help him if he's unsure of himself in those situations. Instead tell him stuff like "I think it's really sexy when u do this first" or "When u're like this it really turns me on.." that sort of positive reinforcment will make it easier for him to take the step needed to stop u bein mental.

Answer 8

why dont you try not initiating sex for about a month and see what he does.ore are you not going to be able to do that?I dont really think stress can make him not want to have sex.well i know no amount of stress would put me off it.it seems to me that you are giving it to him too much.he is probably irritated by it,just give him a lil space and he should come around. if he does not he is cheating on you for sure.talk to him about it yeah.make him know that you want him to ask or even beg sometimes.lol women always like to be begged.lol funny creatures.good luck girl.

Answer 9

everyone is different. In my relationship its pretty much even but never really one sided. In my past relationship I was the one who was more into sex. It depends on how people have been raised to see sex and what they want from a relationship. Its not bad if you want sex more than he does or vice versa. Sex is a huge part of relationships

Answer 10

I know someone who had the same problem. Turns out he was having an affair. He never initiates it, but have sex whenever she requested because of guilt. He never really said no, just never initiates it.

Don't mean to scare you. Just may be something to look into.