It seems Asians are racist. Her parents dont want her to date me cause i'm black. We're really into each other and we've already been intimate. What should i do?
2007-03-20 13:24:23 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually it depends on her, and you. Will she defy her parents?
Are you ready to accept the comming fight?
2007-03-20 13:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by redman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take small gifts to her parents when you visit, stuff like cookies, tea, fruit, etc. It's an Asian custom. Also, be respectful and don't talk too much. Help around the kitchen (score points with Mom) and listen carefully when spoken to. Be humble and gracious.
Always be neat and dress nicely. If you are rich or have a good job or have real plans on getting a good job or starting your own business, then tell your girl to leak the info to her parents. Money talks with Asians.
It's probably true that when they first see your color, they will think of the negative stereo types. But once they see that you are a man of character, then they may change their opinion.
2007-03-20 13:40:46 · answer #2 · answered by eddygordo19 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pull the racist card so fast. There probably just conservative and know the problems that can pop up in a couple with such differences in back rounds. If you really like her keep trying to keep the relationship.
But keep in mined the real horrors of having a relationship with some one with such a different back ground. It can make things very difficult. As you have already noticed. If the **** really hits the fan id maybe consider talking to her parents. Let them know your a respectable guy an all.
Maybe they will begin to see you as an individual without the black background.
2007-03-20 13:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: "It seems Asians are racist" is the kind of statement you'll want to avoid. It's possible that your girlfriend's parents are racist, absolutely; it's also possible that they have firm beliefs about family and race and religion and tradition, and so are of the opinion that she should only date Asians (as opposed to the significantly more racist "she can date anyone except African-Americans").
Having said that, are you serious about this girl? If not, keep on truckin'. If you are, however, realize that you're talking about your potential future in-laws. You'll have to take their opinion of you into account, and decide if it's worth the uphill battle to earn their respect (and you may never get it.)
2007-03-20 13:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by big_bowl_of_meat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asians are more likely to be racist if they are first-generation immigrants. I know asian people whose parents forbade them to go out with anybody who's not Asian. It's not your fault, it's not her fault, it's not even her parents' fault. They, like most other asians, have a certain mentality. They only trust those who they know they can trust.
That's why you need to show her parents that they can trust you. You need to be mature. You need to meet her parents and blow them away. You need to MAKE them change their minds, because they won't do it on their own.
Here's what you do:
1. Plan with your girlfriend to go over to her parent's house.
2. Ask your girlfriend about things that you should and shouldn't do.
3. go over there totally confident, and help her mother and father out.
Here's some Chinese Dinner Tips:
Learn how to use chopsticks (they'll see that you are trying).
Don't show that you are nervous (even if you are).
Don't shake your foot (it's bad luck).
Lastly, make sure that you get across that you will not be bad for their daughter in any way.
Hope this helps.
2007-03-20 13:46:12 · answer #5 · answered by Val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like her and she likes you, date her to whatever extent is possible (I don't know how old you are - if you're both minors it makes it difficult). The limitations of the generation that came before us shouldn't be the limitations that land on us.
As a side note - saying Asians are racist is racist by itself. People from all over the world are racist - her parents happen to be in that group. I'm rather sorry for them, because I imagine they're missing out on a lot of really nice people.
-Bart
2007-03-20 13:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im white... lets just get that out of the way.
i think you will find that alot of peoples parents are a little racist, it dosent matter what race they're from, many of them seem to have this totally unreasonable streak of racism in them.
if you really like this girl and she really likes you then go for it, you dont want to stop this relationship because of someone else, you will never know weather it would have blossomed into something beautiful.
you may find that the realtionship runs its course and ends anyway, in which case you dont want to upset yourself or her by ending it now if it can end on a friendly note in the future.
if the relationship becomes very serious im sure that as a sensitive and nice bloke you will be able to win her parents over, especially if you make her happy because they will want her to be happy.
golden rule... NEVER upset her, or they will latch onto the fact that you hurt her once and they will never forget it.
just stay doing what you bith want to do for now, parents meddle in every relationship, you have to just try get on with it and it will all turn out good in the end.
dont end it with her because of someone elses ideals, you will always regret it.
2007-03-20 13:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not because they're racist (you shouldn't think that all Asians are racists...that's really steriotypical) it's usually because 1st and/or 2nd generation immigrants have different cultures...it's like a Jewish person wanting to marry a non-Jewish person, but the Jewish parents don't want that since the other person isn't Jewish (this is just an example...not all Jewish people are like this) her parents are probably just conservative on their own traditions. So my advice is that you could just try seeing her, but not totally in the dating mode....just as friends..and you should meet her parents sometime...but just be yourself. you shouldn't try to impress them....
2007-03-20 13:50:02 · answer #8 · answered by Sah Raang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My philosophy we are all human and whatever person you decide to date shouldn't be determined by their race if you love her do right by her and continue to date her. As long as you and your girlfriend are happy that is all that matters you can't please everyone. I learned that dealing with anyone who is racist you shouldn't stoop to their level of ignorance too much wasted time and energy. Her parents sound like type of people who wouldn't be happy with anyone and that is sad because you have to let go of your children sometime. If you get a chance you and your girlfriend sit down and have a talk with her parents.
2007-03-20 13:51:26 · answer #9 · answered by Aphreakywuman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm okie you're dating the girl right who's totally into you...you're not dating her parents so why care as to what they think? You love her she loves you....sometimes love is really all that you need and it overcomes it all obstacles...maybe in time her parents will come around to liking you....maybe they don't like you because of of how they were brought up and some stupid racial stereotype but who knows the longer she's around you and you show your love for her they'll see that. They'll see that you truly love her and want what's best for her... Just keep doing right by her and they'll come around...people love it when you show that you love and care about their kids
2007-03-20 13:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by Lucky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should still date her. They dont live her life or yours. If you really want to be with this girl dont stop,GO! and if she feels the same there is no problem. Her parents will have to get over it if you two are in love.
2007-03-20 13:30:07 · answer #11 · answered by Kinka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋