My Boyfriend has been living with me for 3 months and he is still paying rent on an apartment that he does not ever stay at. He has not offered to pay any utilities and I buy groceries, the only thing he pays for is when we go out to dinner which is only about once a week lately what should I do?
2007-03-20 13:09:17 · 18 answers · asked by allyanne 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well if you are sure that he is ther person you want to be with, then you have to talk about him giving up his apartment and paying 1/2 the rent and perhaps putting his stuff in storage until you decide to get a bigger place or buy a house or just sell the stuff, 3 months is a bit short, can you hang on for 6 months so you know that you are sure about him moving in permaently. It may give you more time to decide what you both want. But yes he should pay rent, but I wouldn't make him pay it until he gives up the apartment who can afford to pay rent twice every month. Take care Heather
2007-03-20 13:14:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
~Honey, it sounds like he may be walking over u. First off how do u really know he's paying rent at the other apartment? Have u seen cancelled checks and receipts? Secondly, most apartments have a termination fee. Y not just pay that instead of monthy for the remainder of the lease. Not 2 mention y did he move in with u b4 his lease was up. He sound like he is bamboozling u. He needs 2 provide proof that he is really paying rent over there. And since he aint paying utilities over there now he can pay utilities over there with u. and grocery bill thats an easy one 50/50. Go grocery shopping 2gether and split the total.
~Peace and Blessings~
2007-03-20 20:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by Kute_N_Pretti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't ask because he doesn't technically live with you. If he is still paying for his apartment its because he considers that his home and he is just staying the night with you. He pays for another apartment, he doesn't live with you. You're just letting him stay the night there. You could, however, ask him to help buy groceries. Since you eat out once a week, you're probably cooking the other 6 days. Whenever he stops paying for that other apartment, that's when he's technically moved in and that's when you ask for help.
2007-03-20 20:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by First Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First things first - he definitely needs to be chipping in something!! BUT, I think that the way to address it depends on a couple of things. For example, before I answer your question, here are two of my own - How long have you guys been dating and why did he decide to move into your apartment instead of the other way around?
If you two have been dating for a while and have been discussing moving in with each other (officially), then maybe your bf is conflicted about the big step, and still feels like he needs to keep his personal space. In that case, I think that the conversation you two need to have is more about where the relationship is going, etc. etc. But also mention that, if he's been staying at your place for 3 months, it's time for him to start helping to pay for the groceries (unless he's planning on not eating any of the food), and also that it would be nice for him to help with the utilities as well. Tell him that if he's not ready to "officially" move in, then you would rather he "unofficially" moved out - until he is ready for that step. Of course, you guys can still sleep over at each others' apartments on nights/weekends... :-P (Aside - of course, if he tells you that he *is* ready to move in, then ask him to ditch his apartment and start chipping in for rent.)
HOWEVER, if you haven't really been in this relationship for that long, or if your boyfriend just kind of slowly slimed his way into your apartment and your wallet without any kind of consent on your part, then you definitely need to take action. You need to be firm and tell him that you are not his mother and you are not obligated to feed him and put him up for free. Especially if you haven't been together for too long, you need to be firm both with him and yourself about what you really want out of this relationship and what you're ready for now. Maybe what you need to do is just move all of his stuff out of your apartment BACK into HIS apartment one day when he's at work... Either way, you do want to address this as soon as possible. What if one day, he decides to stop paying the rent on his other apartment - but still doesn't help you with your rent, the groceries, or the utilities? It'll be harder to kick him out then, because by then he won't have another apartment to go to and there'll be all these guilt issues for kicking him out onto the street. ANYWAYS, what I'm trying to say is, you gotta draw the line somewhere and soon. Good luck!!!
2007-03-20 20:41:39 · answer #4 · answered by Claire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. Been there, done that. 'I still have a lease there, and I can't break it.' or 'So-and-so still lives there and I can't leave him without a room-mate.' If his toothbrush is there, he lives there-therefore should be responsible for rent. There are more utilities used when more than one person uses them on a regular basis. He should pay. If he says he can't for whatever reason-tell him to stay at HIS place until it's resolved. If he 'gets' it, he will figure out a way to help pay for the resources he is using.
2007-03-20 20:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is living with you, then why is he still paying rent on the other apartment ?
Most definitely he should be paying his share of things, and yes you should be asking him to do so.
He doesnt sound like he is doing the right thing by you, my partner is now living with me, he contributes in a major way and is still paying his share of rent at the other place, until someone else comes in.
2007-03-20 20:15:17 · answer #6 · answered by smileyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby did this before we got married, he spent the whole day with me, and lived with me, and never paid any bills, he did however buy groceries and put a new roof on my house, still, I was paying all the bills and the morgage, so we finally had to have a chat because he was changing his cloths at his old barracks room. he needed to amek up his mind, was he with me or did he want to stay single.
2007-03-20 20:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should! It's not right that he's still paying for an apartment that he's never at, yet he's always at yours. It's only fair. You shouldn't have to fit the whole bill, and he's just getting a free ride from you. If he doesn't want to help out, then dump his sorry ***.
2007-03-20 20:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by poetry_dreamer2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask to help out some because it is not fair that you should have to do it all just be carefull how you approach the situation because you do not want to offend him either you might ask him if you can help him find someone to rent his old apartment then he would be able to help you more . is there any reason wht he would be holding on to it ? is he tied into a lease ? or a contract ? if so he might have to contact a lawyer for help on finding a loop hole because some times they can be very tricky to get out of
2007-03-20 20:15:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit down and tell him that if he's going to stay there then he's going to have to pay his own way. That you like his company but not the bill that comes along with it.
2007-03-20 20:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by WWJD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋