When my Mother-in-Law had her first grandchild 2 years ago she took on alot of the responsibility because my brother and sister-in-law did not really want a child. Well now that my husband and I have a baby (6 months old) it seems like my Mother-in-Law's time is always spent with my niece. When my husband and I want her to babysit it seems like she is always too busy watching Grandchild #1.
Our Niece is always over at her house! Now that our baby is 6 months old she has started to recognize people like my parents but everytime we bring her over to my In-Laws she gets very uncomfortable because she doesn't know where or who she is with.
How do I approach my mother-in-law, because I am jealous for my daughter and also want her to have a relationship with my daughter too?
2007-03-20
12:58:58
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7 answers
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asked by
muggy403
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Family
By the way I do bring my daughter to her house to just hang out but her attention is always on the niece. And I didn't say my mother-in-law HAD to babysit she likes to babysit but never gets the chance because she is already babysitting my niece.
2007-03-20
17:53:45 ·
update #1
Have a heart-to-heart with her. Make it seem like you are asking for her help about a problem you are having. Tell her you are worried about how the kids are behaving. At some point it will dawn on her that she is the one with the problem.
2007-03-20 13:02:30
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answer #1
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answered by Reo 5
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My mother in law does the same thing she thinks scene my step daughter has to homes that she should be treated better than the other grand kids even my own. I am some what close to my mother in-law so i just sat down and talked with her as well as my husband has but nothing changed a whole lot yet. She is try thought. I would say either you or your husband may be both need to sit and talk with her
2007-03-20 13:30:59
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answer #2
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answered by ? 3
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Don't. She will come around in due time. Is this child from a daughter or a son? Usually, grandmoms are more favorable to their daughters children then the sons. I have a grandchild (my 1st) that I am especially close to since I was was there from day 1. Even tho I attended the births of the latter 2, I am still not that close to them but am trying every chance I get. To say something to her, especially since she is not your mother, will cause loads of hostility and possible exclusion of your child all together. Please, accept what you have and know that you and your hubby love and cherish this child enough for 50 grandparents! Life isn't always fair babes and play the hand you have been dealt. At least you have your baby's daddy in your life and hers. Best to you and your precious child. After all, the children are OUR future. Let's make the best for them so they can take care of us.
2007-03-20 13:08:52
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answer #3
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answered by biker_beeotch 2
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It is not your place to approach your mother in law. This is something that your husband should do one on one with his mother, alone without the niece. He needs to tell her that he is not asking her to give up the love she feels for the niece, and that he and you understand that she is special because she was first, but that he would like it if she could share her love appropriately with the rest of the grandchildren and grandchildren to come. You do not want your child growing up to resent his mother or believing that she did not love her/him just as much. If his mother says that she cannot do this, then you know where she stands. It is so unfair to the children for her to be this way. But know this, she is actually cheating herself out of a great deal of love from your child, and it is her choice, if she continues to show favoritism to your niece. Grandparents are suppose to have enough love for all their grand babies.
2007-03-20 13:22:12
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answer #4
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answered by mrs_endless 5
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Its not a competition. You are taking her time with your niece as a rejection of your daughter and thats not fair. First of all, she is not obligated to take care of ANY of her grandchildren. It seems to me your niece needs her more now than your daughter does. Thank God for her giving this child a soft place to land.
If you want to develop the relationship between your mother in law and you kid then facilitate it. Take her over to visit when you can stay so the your daughter can get to know her grandchild.
You are being immature get over it .
2007-03-20 13:05:57
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answer #5
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answered by CHELLE BELLE 5
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I dont know that you can change anything with your mother in law. My grand parents were like that too, only the 1st grandchild got any attention at all! and they had 7 kids! the rest of us were like invisible. it was very hurtful. You can try to bring it to her attention, but my guess is that you will only start a war. Just leave it alone and be happy that your daughter at least has your parents to give her what she needs in the way of doting grandparents
2007-03-20 13:06:13
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answer #6
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answered by JEANNE B 3
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Family relationships are really complicated things, especially in-law relationships! One thing I've learned, however, is that you cannot force affection. Anything you try in that regard is more likely to produce a negative result than a positive one. I think wise council would be to just move on. One doesn't miss something they never had so your little one probably will not care one way or the other.
2007-03-20 13:46:11
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answer #7
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answered by Dust in the wind 2
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