Frequently, the lady of the couple will complain that the man never says, 'I Love you," and will pressure him a good deal about it. Would you, personally, rather have a guy that says the words, and then treats you lousy, disrespectfully, or often thoughtlessly, or a guy that treats you well, is honest, and is accountable for what he does/says, but is more emotionally distant. Not in a dispassionate lover sort of way, but just doesn't say the words, or speculate too much about the future. This especially applies in relationships less than a year.
2007-03-20 12:47:20 · 6 answers · asked by eine kleine nukedmusik 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When my now husband and I got together he told me that he was NOT going to say 'I love you' to me until 'it felt right' to him ... which seemed very ODD to me, since I knew that we would be getting married and would be 'together forever' ... but the FIRST TIME he said 'I love you' to me was at our wedding reception. He got up and read a 'prayer poem' he'd copied to everyone, then looked straight at me and said 'I love you.' THAT was the most 'powerful, moving experience' of my life! No we say it to each other 'all the time' ... five or six times a day ... but we both also 'do things' for each other ... whether it's buying flowers or candy or just 'being there' and LISTENING when the other gets home ... because we do 'love each other forever and beyond.' We've been together for ten years now, and it seems like 'less than one' because we are still 'very much in love' with each other.
2007-03-20 12:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once with a guy that rarely said it, and this used to frustrate me and i would constantly ask him if he loved me as a form of validating myself and the relationship. When we broke up, I realised that I needed him to say it to feel my own self-worth.
I am now with someone who throws the term "i love you" around all the time, and it just does not mean as much as when it was only reserved for occassions. Both guys treat me well, however I wish I understood back then that it is not the 3 words that mean so much, its do their actions reflect these 3 little words.
Ahhh, the joy of retrospection
2007-03-20 12:55:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well Both of those situations are not Really LOVE then.. because the first situation the guy would just be saying i love yous that would be basically probably meaningless... since actions speak louder than words. but the second one isn't so good either, because yeah he's honest and stuff and accountiful for what he does/says, but he doesn't Still SHOW the love. i wouldn't want either of those... and would want a guy to be able to open up to me and show me how he feels, not necessarily Having to always Say I love you... but showing it by his actions.. being emotionally there and in the Moment.. so i guess the second choise is much better.. but still i wouldn't want him to be too emotionally distant from me.. if it were Love.. i'd want to connect.
2007-03-20 12:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by coolio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is nice when a man does things to show that he loves you but it is nice and reassuring for a woman to hear those three little words once in a while. I am sure most women would agree.
2007-03-20 12:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by On the upside 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well we would probably rather have a guy treats you well and is honest
but what is having a honest and well treating guy if he cant even say the words i love you?
but if you dont know if you love her or not.
dont say it
its best to actually mean the words and say them when you know the time is right.
2007-03-20 12:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I want it all personally.
Tell me you love me now and then.
Treat me with respect.
Be honest.
Be emotionally close at least now and then.
Talk about the future.
Might be why I'm single.....
2007-03-20 12:52:38 · answer #6 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋