Two years ago, my boyfriend cheated on me twice, with different girls. These past years we've talked it over like you wouldn't believe -- I never knew someone could apologize so much. I know he's truly sorry and now we're SO happy together - happier than we've ever been... so is it bad that I still get jealous and worry that he's going to do it again?
I get scared over the stupidest little things like how he found a carpool ride for a 4-hour drive tomorrow with a girl he's never met... I worry that he'll flirt with her and something will happen even though i know in my heart it won't.
He says all the time how devoted he is now to me and how he'd never do something so stupid again -- we've been going out for over 4 years. But little things like this worry me all the time. I mean allll the time.
Any advice? Anybody else feel like this?
2007-03-20 11:49:10 · 14 answers · asked by blondie22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
* and yes, I did dump him and I wasn't going to take him back but like i said, I've never seen someone be so sorry or apologize so much or cry so much from remorse - it's taken years for us both to recover from it. We've already talked about marriage a lot, but we're only 22 so we're waiting.
I just wish there was a way to not be so worrisome about him cheating again and want to know if it's normal to get so scared about it happening again, even after 2 years.
2007-03-20 12:05:23 · update #1
thats how you feel when you don't trust your loved one sometimes. i would get like that with girls because I've had girls cheat on me before so i figured all girls are like that. i still get like that with a new gf but I've learned that until they give you a reason to don't assume things cuz you'll be worrying all the time. so trust him (i know thats hard with your past with him)but try it. just hit em up if you want more advice good luck. everything will work out.
2007-03-20 11:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by dizzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to worry about things like this because he's already cheated on you. And if you're worrying about it then you *don't* know in your heart that he won't do it again. He has broken a trust in your relationship that's hard to mend.
I would remain cautious but don't start arguments about it. Take his word to some extent but still guard your heart in case you find that he's been lying to you for two years now. If you find that he's cheated again I'd advise you to get out of the relationship and don't look back. You deserve to have someone that loves and respects you completely!
2007-03-20 18:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Jules 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it is normal, how can you trust again someone who hurt you so deeply?? I would have never taken him back in the first place because it isn't fair to me to have to be jealous and mistrusting all the time and worry about what could happen because of something HE did. Cheating is wrong in every aspect, your very strong to be able to forgive him because I dont think I would have. I guess the trust will come with time, give it more time, thats the only advice I have for you, time heals everything, maybe with time your heart will be able to trust again.
2007-03-20 18:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to sound mean, but get out of the relationship, because even if he never cheats on you again, you will never be able to trust him again. I am sure. The guy I dated for two years cheated on me like six monthes into the relationship, and i would flitch everytime his phone would ring, and he wouldn't answer. Or when he'd show up late. It just never felt the same. Love is nothing without trust.
2007-03-20 18:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get over your personal issues about intimacy and trust. You will have these same insecurites with every person you ever date if you don't. If he is going to cheat than nothing in the world is going to stop him from doing it. It sounds like he is truly sorry for what he has done in the past and he has matured enough to put it behind him. Are you?
2007-03-20 19:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a guy and when me and my girlfriend were dealing she made out with a guy and now that were going out im having the EXACT same problem as you. I know she won't do it to me but she gets herself into similar positions. I think trust is a big issue and alot of people will tell you to break up with him but don't. Talk to him about how you feel. You're obviously in a serious relationship (4 years!?). and if he loves you like he says he does he will understand. He will not necessarily change but im sure he will try to talk something out with you.
2007-03-20 18:58:57 · answer #6 · answered by Hurt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been going together for over four years, that should tell you something. He wants you to be with you, but apparently, he isn't interested in getting married. Sounds like he won't make a solid commitment. If you aren't interested in getting married, that's fine.
2007-03-20 18:58:09 · answer #7 · answered by Suzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been going together for four years and aren't married yet, it looks as if you never will be. So why are you getting uptight about the possibility of him flirting with someone else?
2007-03-20 19:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by Feinschmecker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chill this is normal cuz trust is hard to repair, i'm saying this from personal experience, some things are better forgotten as if they never happen then being brought up
2007-03-20 18:54:02 · answer #9 · answered by Lil_B4ByLV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you knew how things would be if ya'll got back 2gether. you cant have a relationship without trust. if you don't trust that person then why be with them. its just a waste of time. for you and him.
2007-03-20 19:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by k-k w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋