My boyfriend is losing his hair at age 19. It doesnt bother me now, because its not yet noticeable except when his hair is pushed back, but I'm really scared I won't find him attractive anymore when it all goes and I feel so guilty for feeling that way because I really love him. I know its common but he's so young. Any advice?
I know I'm being disgustingly anul, and I'd like not to be but I can't change the way I feel. xxxx
2007-03-20 11:41:04 · 34 answers · asked by Londonbaby 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I wouldn't leave him over it. Otherwise I wouldnt ask the question.xx
2007-03-20 11:47:34 · update #1
And please don't tell me I'm shallow, I've already said I know I'm being shallow. Thats why I need the advice. Thank you so far though xx
2007-03-20 11:51:58 · update #2
i guess it just comes down to how much you love him, and it sounds like you do. Put it into perspective.... think if something involving YOUR looks was happening to YOU. Something which you could not control (just like his hair receding). How do you think your boyfriend would react? Or how do you think you would want him to react? However, your worry is still a reasonable one and I guess if he is having as much of a problem with it you could help him find a solution.
2007-03-20 11:50:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're probably going to get flamed by every bald or balding guy on here, but honesty is good.
I would let it ride. It's funny: the more we care about someone, the more physical imperfections we can deal with. If you worry about what might happen to his looks in the future, that's a black hole: everyone gets older, everyone gets creakier, balder, more wrinkled eventually. Enjoy today and live in the moment.
Look at it like a give-and-take...if his hairline eventually recedes to the point where it overpowers how much you care about him and his attractiveness, then you should break up because you didn't like him enough to see past that (I'm not saying that in a mean way).
My guess is, as you keep dating, you'll get more emotionally attached and even though he's losing his hair, you'll care enough about him to not let it faze you.
But for god's sake, when it gets too bad, just have him shave it. Friends don't let friends do the combover.
2007-03-20 11:48:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, don't feel guilty for your feelings -- you like the way a person looks, and you'd like it less if a person looked a different way. This is natural -- whether it's weight, or height, or hair, or eye color, or breast size, or wrinkles, or teeth, or whatever.
You can love someone "just the way he is," but we all think about dating Brad Pitt, or Angelina Jolie, or Charleze Theron, or David Beckham, or whomever.
If this is a concern for you, ask him to see a doctor. Just say that you love him even if he didn't have a hair on his head (you would, right?) but wouldn't it be a shame for him to lose his beautiful hair before his time? He may be very self conscious (because guys are weird about stuff like that) but just be reassuring. Say that you'd be willing to help if he wants to talk about it or address it, but if not, that's fine too.
Good luck.
2007-03-20 11:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you truly are in love with him you'll overlook it. This doesn't mean you'd not think he looks better with more hair but then no one is perfect, are they? We are all superficial to some extent. Just like a man had rather our boobs not become saggy and we not develop cellulite with age, but this is going to happen. If a man is in love with you he might wish it hadn't have happened but will see it as just one of those things. Bald men can be really attractive depending on their other attributes. If it's a huge deal he could have a hair transplant or do hair weaves. Try to look past the hair...it's really trivial in the whole scheme of things.
2007-03-20 11:49:47 · answer #4 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you want out of this life. Do you want a handsome hairy man who might not have the great inner qualities as this guy? What's going to happen when your new Mr. Handsome develops cancer or some other illness. Gonna chuck him then? Look beyond the physical. Nobody gets divorced because their man is bald! If he treats you well, then love him for his heart. You are awfully young and have a lot of pain to go through before you understand this. I feel bad for your boyfriend.
2007-03-20 11:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being quit shallow, you love him conditionally, which isn't fare to him. Love that is long lasting is unconditional. If you really love this guy, than it will not matter what he will look like in 10-20 years. Cause trust me, you will not look the same either, and I just bet that he will still love you. If you can't handle that fact that he is going bald, I suggest leaving him now, instead of breaking his heart down the road.
2007-03-20 11:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by src8784 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to see a hair doctor(dermotologists) Catch it now before it is too late. Or maybe you truly do love him and you will see what is in his heart instead of his appearance. Which is incredibly shallow.( see movie shallow hal) When I married my first wife I gave her two years to lose weight( 5ft 200lbs) she didn't and I started having affairs on her to satisfy my appearance dilema of what I was attracted to. I remarried a year after my ugly divorce and we thought it would be great to start having children right away. She gained 110 lbs during this pregnancy and three years later was still as heavy 280lbs when she got pregnant with our second child. she managed to keep it under 300lbs by the time she gave birth. But then she remained that heavy for the remaining three years. And then I started having an affair. Just like the first marriage we got divorced. I was convinced I was in love with both my x-wives and yet because I was so shallow I couldn't stand to be with an undesirable woman even though I claim to be in love with them. I discovered that I just couldn't change who I was even though my feelings told me otherwise. So my advise to you is to be true to yourself no matter how much you think it is going to hurt others that you truly care about, it is better than living the next twelve years of your life living a lie or miserable because the person you thought you were in love with didn't love themselves or you enough to do something to keep you satisfied physically, mentally, and spiritually with good character. I am now married to a beautiful wife who satisfies me in everyway and you know what I do for her? Everything her heart desires and I love doing it. And isn't that what true love is all about?
2007-03-20 12:08:20 · answer #7 · answered by Dan Howaboutthat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's already admitted to you he's losing his hair and you feel that would make you find him more attractive you can suggest something to him in the way of hair growing supliments.
Personally, I'm 19 and losing my hair... slowly but it's thinning out. Tell him to look into this shampoo called Nioxin.
If he hasn't said anything to you about it, you probably shouldn't mention it. It could be very embarassing to him.
In that case I guess it's something you'll have to deal with on your own. Either you have to assess what parts of your relationship matter more to you and then either attempt to get over it or... I hate to say it start looking for someone else.
Hurts me to say that as someone thinning in their hair but it's your choice.
Good luck!
2007-03-20 11:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my bf (age 25) has the same problem, and he keeps his hair really short because of it. Thing is..I still love him..and that makes him attractive. Initially its sexual attraction that generally pulls a couple together, but it is caring, common interest, and a lot of comunication that helps keep a couple together. If it really worries you I'd talk to him, because he probably has the same concern.
on a purely physical side..there are a lot of hair growth products out there. Maybe something of that sort would help.
2007-03-20 11:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by Ivy Pandora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you truly love someone it shoouldnt matter how they look. THat sounds very shallow of you. WHat if you were together for a long long time and you gained some weight,,,,would you like it if he was to just throw you away because of it??? Im sure he doesnt feel so good about losing his hair at the age of 19. Im sorry you either truly love him or you dont....its that simple.
2007-03-20 11:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋