what is the best way to tell my long term girlfriend, that I wont get married without a "Prenupt"?

Question

I love her and all but I also need to cover my longterm down the line. Her sister,had a divorce about two years ago and I heared them laughing about the fact that she does not need to work any more and how her ex husband is miserable without her. Now I know I dont need that in my life.

Answer 1

You just tell her. If she really wants to marry you for love, she'll sign.

Smart move with the prenup, by the way.

Answer 2

First of all, make SURE you love her and want to spend ALL your time with her. Second, don't worry about the prenupt until just before you get married. Propose to her in a way as romantic as you can, take her somewhere special - give her a great night. Somewhere in the planning of wedding dates etc. down the road tell her that you love her, but you want a prenupt because you believe in equality. If she is worth keeping (aka, she has her own life, career, goals and a good heart) she will accept, maybe reluctantly. If she declines, then SHE is the EVIL one. Here you have done all these things for her, displayed that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, but because SHE wants to ruin you in case something goes wrong, she looses you - cancel everything and dump her immediately. It's astounding how much women who speak of equal rights have no problem when the scales are tipped in their favor.

Answer 3

Do you have a lot of assets coming into the marriage? Do you expect her not to work when you get married? Do you expect her to work while you get an education? If the answer to these three questions is "no," it's not likely that you need a prenup. Prenups usually protect people who have a lot of assets (or a lot of marrital earning power) before they come into the marriage. If you expect your wife to stay home, and you get divorced, and she wasn't able to get up a good work history or job training, then you may have to pay maintenance for a period of time. If she worked and "put you through school," then your degree may be a marrital asset and she can claim part of your income. If you have lots of premarrital assets, she can try to claim that some of that is hers. Prenups protect all of that.

I am NOT a family law attorney, and your state's family law may be unique. You should talk to an attorney about this issue, but you may receive the same advice.

I bring this up because if you don't have those circumstances, then it may not be worth it for you to even raise the issue. Why bother if it's unnecessary? So I'd see if you could get an initial consultation (for free often) with a family law attorney to see if you would even qualify before broaching the subject with you gf/fiancee.

Answer 4

Maybe when you guys start talking about a future together, bring up the subject that you think that is in the best interest of both you to get a prenupt before you take your relationship to the next level.

If she isn't interested in your wealth, she won't have a problem. I personally wouldn't be offended since now a days marriage doesn't mean much to a lot of people. If she does get offended you are going to make a very interesting choice.

Hope everything works out for you.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I can understand why you might be wary of your fiancees reaction. I think the best way to go about it is to broach the subject gently and with love. Tell her how much you love her and then just emphasize the point that when people are so much in love, it's hard to imagine that things would ever change. But since things happen that nobody can predict, you want to take precautions now in order to protect BOTH OF your best interests (I am hoping that she has some assets of her own ;o). Then explain to her what a prenup is and tell her that you are praying you'll never need to see again etc. etc. etc. Then make sure you get a good counselor to make your marriage strong and resilient.

Answer 6

Good for you!
you know what you want(marry her) but you also know what you dont want,so you should just let her know that even though you have the faith the marriage will last forever,you also know that sometimes things dont work out aside form the couples wishes and you dont want $$ to be in the way. Make sure to tell her that this does not mean you DONT trsut her,its just that you think is the smartest thing to do these days due to the increase divorces.If she resists..mmm eyes wide open, if she loves you she wont care to sign.Good luck!

Answer 7

i know wot u mean my mum has been married twice now and she lost a lot out of her 2nd marriage and now she has met sum one else we said get a prenupt
if you girl really loves you then she will accept it because it will help her as well but if she is just after you money she wont accept if you just come out and ask her over a dinner you will know were you stand just me sensitive how you say it x hope that helps

Answer 8

A prenup only protects your assets acquired before you get married. Do you have a million sitting around that you need protected. I would never marry a man who asked me to sign one... oh wait I've been married almost 30 years and together we have made ourselves a great life and been very happy. Oh well you'll never know.

Answer 9

I would ask her how she feels about prenupts and why. Then I would tell her how you feel about them and your reasons. If you are very adamantly for it and she is very much against it - you both may need to consider why you truly feel that way and if it is justified.

Answer 10

When the topic of marriage comes up. No easy way to say it but let her know and then you two can decide what you want to do.