To break up or wait it out?

Question

My bf of 2.5 years has decided to focus on his career. In the past 6 months he cancels plans with me more often than he keeps them. All b/c he's working. And he REALLY is working... which is hard to believe sometimes. For the 1st year+ we spent so much time together... 4 or 5 nights a week, to now, we barely see each other once a week. He says he's just focusing on work and that everything is fine, he still loves me and wants to be with me and that he'll be back around. Well after 6+ months, my patience is running thin. We've talked about moving in together so we'd see each other more to even him just setting up an office at my place so he could work from here a few nights a week... none of which has happened. This is not the kind of relationship I want and I'm loosing faith that it'll ever go back to how it used to be, even though he says it will. I haven't really seen him in 15 days now... and he just cancelled on me again tonight for work.

I am 28. I do want to get married eventually, but I'm not in a huge hurry. I do think we can work it out... I've just reached an all time high frustration level.
I've also done all those things.. I started taking classes to go back to school, I coached basketball this season, and I've been working on my new house to take up more of my time... not to mention my full time job... so I've been keeping busy and looking for what makes me happy besides him... Thanks for all the advice... it really does help.

Answer 1

well how old are yall? Do u plan on getting married? if getting married is what u 2 plan on doin then just keep tryin to work things out 4 now i guess, pray about it. That's very important.

Answer 2

He won you over by focusing on you. Now that you're a done deal, he is focusing on his work. This won't change. His focus will continue to be work. If you love him and can accept the little time with him, ask when you can move in together. Set a date and start packing. If he balks at that, he means he is probably seeing someone else and doesn't have the courage to tell you or that he's having second thoughts about a long term relationship with you. He may be feeling trapped if you're giving him a hard time about how much time he spends with you.

There will always be change in any relationship. If there isn't, both of you are stagnant in life. Seek out new interests and friends or spend more time on the interests and friends that you already have. Seek you own happiness. Don't depend on any other person to bring you joy in life. Bring the joy to yourself.