Kids Smoking?

Question

What would you do if you found out your kid was smoking?

For you smokers what did you parents do or say when they found out, it does not matter if you were younger or older?

Answer 1

My mom was very hurt to learn this. My dad was bothered but he didn't make a fuss about it. Neither of my parents had much leg to stand on since I begged them not to smoke my whole childhood. To be fair, I didn't smoke until after I left their home...I was 21. Now at the age of 38 I just quit...two months smoke free, with the help of nicotine replacement gums and mints. My mother had COPD for 8 years, and died of a heart attack in December at the age of 63. My dad was an alcoholic who went sober too late. He had a massive stroke and died at 58 in 1996.

If you are a smoker...dammit, you owe your smoking child an apology because you taught them everything they needed to know. Monkey see monkey do. You may as well have set up a clinic on how to do it because you have shown them every step of the way...how to get a good deal on cigarettes, how to pick the best brand, how to smoke around non-smokers, how to light one in the wind, how to smoke when both hands are busy, how to clean up the ashtray....every last thing you do related to YOUR smoking, they know how to do too. This is how influential you are as a parent. And it was easy to teach them...so how on earth can we say that we just don't get through to our children? We get through to them in spades!

Still, you are dealing with your child here, and after you have made your apology and asked them to forgive you, you need to lay down the law. Because truth is, you are allowed by law to smoke, and they aren't. Letting them continue, could mean that YOU get to spend some time in jail. So you do have to face it as their problem and draw some boundaries.

My suggestion is to be rational as you can and still let your child know how you FEEL, as well as what you THINK, and what you EXPECT. You can do all without nagging, screaming, or sobbing. And you can do it all with love.

Kids know the health risks...but you can approach this from a different angle...that of addiction and control. Every kid I know wants some element of control. They think it is cool to be able to make their own choices. You can foster that sense of control about smoking by saying that...they just may not understand HOW powerful of an addiction nicotine can be. You can talk to them about how someday, regardless of how much they enjoy it now, they will wish they hadn't started. And you can tell them how you are going to help them break the habit NOW until they at least get old enough to decide if they want to smoke legally or not.

I would honestly keep this as NON-lecturing as possible, and don't punish them by making them listen to you drone on. In fact, they don't need punishment at all...they do need consequences and I would start with trust related ones.

"I can't trust you to hang out with friends after school. You are going to have to stay home for a while."

"I can't trust you with money, knowing that you may buy cigarettes with it. No allowance for a while."

Other than that, you need to LOVE up on your kid. Smoking at a young age, is usually related either to stress relief, or peer pressure. Both can be handled with spending extra time together, and giving your child something to be proud of, and a way to burn off stress.

Your best bet, if you are a smoker, now that the torch is passed...is honestly to quit with your kid. And lean on each other as buddies through it. Some of this is on the honor system, you can't be together all the time, so you need to boost your trust relationship if it isn't there. You can offer and insist on a sniff test when each of you gets home. Search your kid, and let them search you for cheating. You can set up a support system. A lot of parents set up contracts with their kids about drunk driving. That if they end up in a situation they shouldn't be in, they can ALWAYS call you to help them out of that jam. You don't have to promise that you will not be mad, or disappointed, but that you are always more concerned with them being safe than making sure they get punished for their mistakes.

You should probably also offer, and use, nicotine replacement. There are a lot. I used this and I have been smoke free for 2 months now...it helped me break the behavior habit of breathing smoke, handling cigarettes, going outside after dinner, etc. Now I'm gearing up to wean off that and it is another challenge.

Answer 2

I have 14 and 12 year old daughters and a 6 year old son. My wife and I dont smoke, no one smokes in our house or our cars. My kids know better then to even try it. Non smokers can smell a smoker before they can see em.
But if I find one of them smoking..something else will be burning

Answer 3

I would take them somewhere, like a coroners office, and show them what smoking really does to their lungs. Then talk to them about it. Keep an eye on them and everytime you catch them smoking make them break the cigerette in half and throw it away.

Answer 4

PERSONALY i would spank them and ground them for 3 - 4 weeks. No going out, no phone, no computer no nothing!
I have HEARD OF people making their kid smoke a whole pack in like a hour and it makes them realy sick and they stop but i think that is WAYYYYYY to harsh.

Answer 5

my brother was 17 and on his way to prison and thought he was grown until he walked in front of mom with a cigarette in his mouth and she slapped it out of his face!
my dad let me smoke my mom freaked
my husband is 23 and still hides his habit from his family for fear of disapproval
my stepdad pasted pictures of lungs with cancer on my bathroom mirror to try to get me to quit
if my daughter was smoking i would take away her allowance and try to monitor her activities more and talk to her about the dangers.

Answer 6

my dad let me smoke and it didn't bother him , i was 16. i haven't smoked in years. if i caught one of my kids i would talk to them about it and let them know that i would not tolerate it in my home. if they were minors i would beat their butts- pardon the pun!

Answer 7

thats tricky, but i have time he's only 1! I would have to spank them and ground them, not to mention show them what could happen to them

Ash

Answer 8

Grown them