Do you agree that striking of that "in-law" relationship with sincerity can improve harmony in home living?

Question

The "in-law" term used in relationship in a family does indicate, promote and sustain a fabricated relationship. Agreed, you can never convert that relationship into a natural one. But still when one enters into that relationship and sincerely and determinedly make an effort to build up bonds equal to that of a natural one a certain amount of harmony can be maintained at home. In fact wisdom demands it. All over the world the 'Mother-in -law' and the 'daughter-in-law' relationships are viciously looked at and stories and jokes abound on it. But those who have done away that 'in-law' term are many and they are happy although it is a very difficult task. If from childhood this healthy relationship is preached there can be a lot of difference in family relationship in general. So why should not we have 'father, mother, brother, sister etc.' erasing that 'in-law' tag in our life. A very sensitive subject indeed! Deliberate in detail and respond, please. lileeann33

Answer 1

If we call a horse a monkey will that change the inherent nature of our feeling toward it?

No matter what you call your spouse's mother, you should strive to have a good, friendly, reciprocal relationship with her as well as her father. And your wife should be doing the same with your parents. But it takes years to develop the depth of intimacy with "in-laws" as with your own parents.

Answer 2

Never try to erase this term accept them as they are and it will be fine, a mother and daughter can take each other for granted and fight and get back together if the same if you try with in laws may be in lakh one might succeed but at the same time if you try to maintain your limits in everything then life might be better than the usual because there never is a hastle in a home always the development of hatred or misunderstanding seed is sown by either the relatives or the neighbours or some close associated in both the sides in the name of sympathising these things are created. if you are shroud enough not to discuss any of the family issues to any body not even to parents or your own kith and kins then you will view life to be very smooth. But mo human can develop that habit every body has a naradha inside them who creates controversies.

Answer 3

No. The words "In-law" are not the problem.

The problem with the parents comes from refusing to cut the umbilical cord and wanting to continue to be the guiding influence for their child's life.

The problem with the child is not wanting to trust the spouse and wanting to rely on the parent or parents.

The problem with the spouse is jealousy toward the in-laws because they cannot make a decision between the two of them without in put from the in-laws.

The reality of the whole thing is that as a young person getting married you are used to relying on your parent's wisdom and don't want to appear dumb or make a wrong decision.

A parent finds it hard to let the child go and wants to keep the child, even though married, from making mistakes which can be avoided.

The spouse becomes infuriated because it seems like a lack of trust in their judgment if the other partner goes to consult the parents.

There is also the jealousy of "ownership" when an in-law or spouse refers to someone as "my son, daughter, wife, husband, etc."

Answer 4

I agree that there are some great mother/daughter in law relationships out there. I have one of my own. My mother 'in law' is the greatest person. She helps us with the children she is there for any need that we may have, I help her with things, we go many places together and our relationship is great. I also have my own mother who I love deeply and do much of the same with her. She lives 2 hours away from me so its hard for her to be here all the time. On the other hand I know people who have mother 'in law' relationships that aren't so great. I don't know why and never understood all the jokes and such because it isn't as bad as it is made to sound.

Answer 5

It is just a term no different from husband , mother , father etc.

What is more important then the label is the acceptance of your new extended family and what role they will play in your life.

Start looking at them as a new addition to the family that will offer you insight into your husband and how he relates to them.

If he has a good relationship with his family chances are you will to.

If his relationship with his family is distant chances are yours will be as well.

What is more important then any label, is the relationship itself.

I am not sure if changing the title will solve the problem.

If you have a problem with the label do not use it.

Refer to your in-laws by their names, or introduce them as your husband or wifes parents.

You could say this is Louise my husbands mother.

This is Mrs and Mr so and so by husbands parents.

You need not use the term in law at all.

Your relationship with your spouses family is just that.
Do not get caught up in how society thinks.

Answer 6

i agree with you. The in law term should be striken. Then it would be more like family. I try not to call my sister in law an in law. She is closer to me than my own sisters. Me and my mother in law dont use that term. It makes us closer. We connect on a different level cuz i am like her own child. People dont look at us any different and they dont know she is my in law. Children should be raised with that kind of thinking. There mother in law is no worse or better than their mother. OR father or sister or brother.
We are a bunch of people that spend time together a couple times of year. And we all have watched us grow and change. That is what family is about. I have seen my sister in law grow, get married and now having children. Same as my sister.
So family is family without the in law.
thank you.

Answer 7

yes.I think this is true.The fact is that a closeness and a comfortable zone is required for a healthy relationship.So if a "mother-in-law" and "daughter-in-law" think themselves as mother and daughter,then that can lead to a good harmony in family life.But it is difficult at times when they have very different mentality.Still both should try their level best and realize and accept these things.Then the life will be beautiful and colorful.This will improve harmony in our family.

Answer 8

why does it matter what you call them? I have a mother in law and a step mother in law...I get along with one but not the other. No matter what I called one of them she would still be an awful human being who was horrible to my husband when he was a child.
A name is just a name and has no impact on what the relationship will be.

Answer 9

I really don't understand what you mean, but I would want to watch a hamster on a wheel for hours. I would just let it rest after running on the wheel. Good Luck!

Answer 10

very true! 'in-laws' at home are actually 'out-laws'! mature, civilized living is, living in harmony!