I RECENTLY BEFRIENDED A YOUNG LADY THAT HAS BEEN GETTING OVER BOTH PROBLEMS AT WORK AND BAD RELATIONSHIPS. I FIGURE SHE NEEDS A TRUE FRIEND RIGHT NOW. SO WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HER TO TRUST ME AND SEPERATE MYSELF FROM THE GUYS THAT JUST WANT TO SCREW HER RATHER THAN KNOW HER AS A PERSON.I HAVE BEENTRYING TO GET HER TO GET OUT AND HAVE FUN BUT ITS NOT WORKING TO WELL. BUT SHE DID ENJOY THE GIFT I GAVE HER TO GO TO A SPA FOR SOME RELAXTION AND PAMPERING.
2007-03-20 11:22:44 · 30 answers · asked by chris m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The best thing to do is to take things slow to allow her to get over her issues. If she jumps into another situation right now, it's more than likely that the relationship u are trying to build with her will not last, and she will just get into the habit of fishing for anyone or anything that will give her some relief from her problems, and that's not healthy. You just be a good friend to her right now, just be yourself. From your question, i can see that u genuinely care about her and want her to be safe. She will surely see that quality in you, trust me. Tell her that you are there for her, that she's not alone, and that whatever happens she now has a good friend that will share it with her. But don't u make any sexual/flirtatious gestures, because it will through off everything, and then u can just forget about separating yourself from those other "jerks". Bottom line: take it slow, give her time and some space to get over her misery, but at the same time let her know that she's not alone.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
2007-03-20 11:32:57 · answer #1 · answered by lilly_of_the_valley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a girl loses her trust in someone, she'll definitely feel bad. So since it seems like you only got good intentions, reassure her. Tell her that you just want to be her friend and that you want to see her happy, not sad. Just tell her what you said here, the stuff about wanting to help her.A girl's heart takes a while to heal from all the bad memories, so give her some time. For now, just be by her side.
Hope everything works out.
2007-03-20 11:29:11 · answer #2 · answered by michelleee♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't just shower gifts on her, that shows the wrong impression. Try just being her friend , like you said. Don't try and force her out, just hang out, watch a movie, or just talk on the phone...sometimes it's easier for people to open up if it isn't face to face. if you've only recently befriended her, you don't know the extremity of the situation, or the whole story. Sad as it is, some people make a lot of drama up to receive sympathy.. I'm NOT saying thats the case here, but I have seen it... don't be blinded, and don't throw your all into something that she isn't ready to receive... and maybe doesn't want to recieve....
2007-03-20 11:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by Miss B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her the link to your question.
Do quirky stuff, not romatic stuff.
Make her laugh. Find out what makes her laugh and enjoy it with her.
Don't try and fix her, she doesn't need fixing. But IF she is the kind of person that learns best by being screwed over, your heart will take a beating whilst she continues her pattern of self abuse through other men.
Simply enjoy her company as a friend and she will respond to that. I would suggest though, if your intentions are of the romantic kind, she will sense that. Be honest woth yourself too.
Good luck
2007-03-20 11:28:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you ought to do is a million) supply up eating and a pair of) stay out of the bars. you're relationship a eating concern and by utilising asserting you in effortless terms drink two times a month is denial. Alcohol has already messed you up extra effective than as quickly as. And it takes 2 play a doubles sport. Bow out and circulate on without finding decrease back. She'll be taking part in a sport all on my own. sturdy success.
2016-10-02 11:31:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my friend. That is adorable. I respect your position in this. The only way to do this is by telling the guys that just want to screw her to leave her and you alone. They'll take a hint. ORRRRR....if that's too hard. Seperate yourself, slowly, just don't hang out with them. I'm glad your doing this. At least there are a few nice guys in this crazy world.
2007-03-20 11:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by The Random Blonde 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
great job with the spa thing...great idea. no girl could turn that down.
i think that you should treat her like she's one of your best friends. joke around with her and have some laughs. take her out to dinner and lunch. go bowling. just have fun with her.
you do not have to keep giving her presents. they are definetely appreciated, but you cannot buy a girl's friendship. maybe a small gift [home made cookies, bag of candy, box of chocolates...] once every other month would be more than enough.
good luck ;-)
2007-03-20 11:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by SARB3AR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be her friend! And don't have an ulterior motive (like, once she sees that I'm not like them, I'll have a chance with her). Let her vent, let her talk about what she needs too, but remind her how great she is and that she's better offf with out those guys.
Be a true friend. That's the best advice I can give you.
2007-03-20 11:28:43 · answer #8 · answered by Grinch 67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur so sweet but tell her that you really like her but as a friend and ask her if she can think of u separate than all the other stupid guys that wanna screw her if she says no just say OK and try to earn her heart with all of your sweetness!!!
hope this helps
2007-03-20 11:28:20 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a really nice guy and I reconize your type :(
Don't be one of those Pampering clingy guys. A one time gift is ok but don't over do it and don't be Overly nice ick!
Just be a friend she can lean on and give her some time, what's meant to be will be.
good luck!
2007-03-20 11:30:27 · answer #10 · answered by Jenifer B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋