were we getting married in may and we are having a dinner at a restraunt after ,how do i out that we will not be paying for the dinner on the invititions
2007-03-20 11:19:07 · 25 answers · asked by rachel p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we are not having a big wedding the wedding will be at a park, it just like 15 people and small lake we are both out of work so we cant afford to even have real wedding with a dress or anything ..
2007-03-20 11:32:03 · update #1
we are not having a reception it just dinner at a restraunt , and i would like people to join us ,,,,,
2007-03-20 11:40:35 · update #2
ok people i need a real answer please, i'm glad everyone rich $$$$ in all but please give me a real answer .
2007-03-20 11:48:40 · update #3
I did the same thing...we were broke for our wedding too. If you are getting married at a park there should be picinic tables or maybe someone you know can bring a table and just let everyone know that it is a "Pot Luck Wedding". I was married in my basement and everyone brought something to eat..so it worked out well. Good luck and congrats.
It is terrible to see that people are so rude...If you are getting married ...YOU are getting married and guests are for support and company. This will be your day..not theirs.
2007-03-20 12:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by christine e 2 · 4⤊ 5⤋
Okay, I am going to try to put this as nicely as I can. You cannot, under any circumstances, invite people to your wedding and ask them to pay for their dinner. It does not matter if it is a informal reception or not. You either have to cancel the dinner or find a way to pay for your guests. Call the restaurant and see if they cater to small parties and get price quotes. If this option doesn't work, maybe there is a friend or relatives home that you can have a small informal gathering and have drinks, cake and food. If you're getting married in a church, maybe you could have a small reception there. I can completely understand if you do not have the money to throw a reception, but if you can not find a way to pay for it and a relative cannot help, then you are just going to have to cancel the dinner. I hope that you can read this and see that I am really trying to help you, not put you down. Good Luck!
2007-03-21 19:26:49 · answer #2 · answered by Krissi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You simply state, "We would like for our guests to know that we are not having a formal reception. However, there will be an informal gathering at _______restaurant with dinner at your own expense." No further explanation necessary. Many people have children and only want to attend a ceremony and don't go to a dinner or reception. Some can't attend the ceremony but want to show their support for the couple and would happily pay for their own meal.
I'm sorry you have been getting rude or inexperienced answers. It is not tacky or poor etiquette. The message is straightforward and not everyone has money for a reception or for a wedding gift. It is not a given, that you will receive cash as a wedding gift.
I've seen invitations like this mentioned in the top Bridal Magazines and have been to weddings with the couple in the same situation as you. It has even been talked about on top television shows. This is the new milineum. It's your day so relax and enjoy it.
2007-03-20 15:25:56 · answer #3 · answered by angelpoet04 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
In all honesty, you cannot invite anyone out after a wedding and not provide a single thing. You will get cash gifts fro your wedding, which you can use to pay the tab at the restaurant, but you cannot invite someone out for dinner, and then tell them they must pay for their own meal.
Can you host a small picnic luncheon afterward at the park? Maybe your mom or close friend could help you put it all together...lunchmeats, salads, etc...
How about having just a cake reception? You'd only need a cake (sheet cake is about $35 to feed 100 people around here) and provide coffee and punch...very inexpensive and still festive...
Maybe you could wait to get married until you have enough for the basics. There's nothing putting you on a strict timeline, and won't you feel much better having a modest wedding you can afford without the stress of being out of work?
2007-03-20 12:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's kinda rude in a way cause really there celebrating for you and partner. If you can put the wedding off for a little longer do so and save a bit and go to the restaurant and organise with them a set meal and tell them you want to pay around whatever $ a head and i'm sure they will work something out. If not at that restaurant keep asking around and see who can help you out. But honestly it's a bit rude asking them to pay sinse you invited them to your wedding. Or better, Elope. Go away for a couple of nights and have a romantic dinner for 2. Even camp somewhere, it's all about being fun and that how memories are made. Good Luck.
2007-03-20 14:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I went to a couple of courthouse weddings where that is how they did it. The wedding invites were very casual and they mentioned that afterwards the couple would be going out for a meal and guests are welcome to come along but the meal would not be included. I still went and everyone had fun. The restaurants were happy to have us. One time, someone actually picked up the tab(unexpectedly) for everyone's dinner. The only thing I recommend though, is if you go this route, at least get a cake of some kind to bring along and let the restaurant know in advance. The other option is instead of a restaurant, invite your guests back home for cake and punch. Not everyone can afford a wedding but still want to get married, that's a fact of life and it's your marriage that counts more than the wedding. Those who love you will be there no matter what.
2007-03-20 12:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by abbacat 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The answer is that you cannot ask guests that you invite to your wedding to pay for your dinner. That is not etiquette and very tacky. If you cannot afford to have a real wedding, then just invite immediate family, and just have a simple ceremony and that is it. If you place that request on your invitation, that people should pay for their own dinners, you will get many rejections to your wedding. It is wrong and a little selfish of you I think.
2007-03-20 16:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your probably going to hate my answer, but it is rude to say, "You have to pay at my wedding." I mean, they are already getting you a gift I am sure. I would be offended if someone were to tell me that I was invited to their wedding but needed to bring extra money for food.
However, what you could do is have some friends or family members make up some nice dishes and have the reception at a park. It will be really easy and i am sure that everyone will enjoy it. It will have a relaxed atmosphere and no one will be expected to "pay" anything. That way you can have EVERYONE you want there, and not just the people who can pay. :)
But good luck with what ever happens and Congrats.
2007-03-20 12:24:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Honestly there is no real way to tell someone they are paying for their own dinner at your reception. Since it seems to be something small and with people who are close to you just tell them. If you can't afford to feed 15 people then I would call instead of sending invitations, it's not a formal event.
2007-03-20 12:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by sjlova86 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What about having a potluck type thing - that way people can make or spend what they can afford - some may not be able to afford to go out for a dinner but may still want to celebrate with you.
2007-03-20 15:42:15 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The real answer IS you cannot ask people to have dinner with you and ask them to pay for their meal. It is extremely tacky. What you do is, not tell them about dinner on the invitation and after the ceremony say "We are going to such and such restuarant we would love if you'd come and have a least a drink with us." This would let people know you want them to be there, but they are to pay for their own meals.
2007-03-20 18:01:35 · answer #11 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋