I want my parents to divorce becuase i hate my mom?

Question

Is it wrong for wanting my parents to divorce? I love my dad so much and i love him way more then my mom, he acts like a normal dad but my mom, she always argues with him, and (my dads father died about 10 years ago) and she keeps reminding him of it and telling him that he killed him (emotionnaly) isnt that morally wrong? Also she sometimes yells at me for no reason and sometimes i say something and then she gets on her rants and i keep saying okay okay just calm down but she doesnt stop she just keeps on yelling until it gets to the point where she is caling my a *****, telling me that she hates me that i am worthless while i am trying to hold back my tears. Also she had an brain anuyresm about 3 years ago, but she was like this before, also my sis had anorexia and it was reallly bad and my mom keeps blaming my sis for her anuyserm and when we argue she tells me im jus like my sis and that i am going to kill her and she wont let me see my sis (who is in college now) is my mom crazy

Answer 1

Wow, your family sure has been through alot these past 10 years. It may look like your mother is the bad guy, but I think she's had it pretty tough too. As a child, you will never fully understand the relationship your parents have. Perhaps their relationship has had its ups and downs (lord knows that's normal), however, shouldn't it account for something that they are still together? You should applaud your father for hanging in their with your mother - he is really a great man, and your mother is lucky to have him by her side. It's easy as a child to lay blame on people just so the problem will go away in your own eyes, but you will realize as you get older, that is not the solution at all. Try a new proactive solution and try to be part of the solution, not the problem. It is tough now for you, I understand, as your sister has left for college and you feel all alone. You need to reach out to your mother and find something you two have in common and re-build your relationship. I know that sounds cheesy to your right now, but there will be a day when you look back and read what you just wrote and cringe because she may not be around anymore for you to say you we're sorry. She's the only mother you're going to get, treat her right. She obviously has some mental issues - and that isn't easy for anyone to deal with, however, you really need to be understanding now more than ever. If you can't depend on family, who can you depend on?! Your dad and mom sound like good people...give both of them a chance together. Be calm, rational, and understanding. Being a teenager can be an emotional time anyway, don't make your parents part of that equation. Good luck - here's food for though, go up to your mom tonight and just give her a hug. She could probably use it.

Answer 2

I am dealing with the same thing right now. My ex and I are still going to things like school functions, birthdays, and holidays together. His new wife and my new husband are also present. I don't see why your new wife can't understand that your son needs to see that just because his parents aren't living together anymore doesn't mean that they won't both be there for him on the important things. My new husbands ex's don't like me being around them for school things. However, 1 ex isn't around ever, so I am always the one doing the parent/teacher conferences and so forth. The other ex doesn't want me to come for that fact that she still can't let go of my husband. I can see what both your wife and ex wife are saying. If you can all get along for you sons sake, why not all 3 of you go to the school functions and take turns hosting the parties and holidays? Alternate years or events. You could also ask your son what his feelings are on the subject. That way there is no way that the wife or ex could accuse you of not putting your son first. I hope this has helped.

Answer 3

It is wrong to interfere with their relationship.

I can understand where you are coming from. If your mom is so difficult to cope with maybe a divorce might eventually happen by itself.

I actually think my mother has a mental illness. It led to me being kicked out of home, my sister leaving home and eventually my dad divorced her.

The best thing you can do is to spend time with your dad and try to stay in touch with your sis. Eventually you will get to a stage where you can leave home and live independently.

It will be important for you to maintain some level of self esteem. You are NOT anything that anyone says you are. You are what YOU will make of yourself.

Answer 4

Have you talked to your dad about the way you feel? Your mom sounds like she got some serious issues going on,,and you your sis and your dad are being mentally abused by her. I was brought up the same way but it was my dad that was like that. Obviously you guys are going to keep suffering until the day your dad decides to do something about this situation. I cant blame you one bit for the way you feel about your mom,,,,its an unhealthy situation to be in. Im sorry for your sadness and pain.

Answer 5

If your mom is abusing (emotionally and or physically) then you definately need to get help. My mom had the same problem, her dad was crazy and would be hurtful to her, her siblings, and her mother. My mom desperately hoped her parents would get divorced, but they never did. Now her dad, my grandfather, is a sweet old man that is totally different. Your mom will cool down as she gets older but for now if she continues to be a problem you need to talk to your dad and someone else like a councelor. I hoped that helped.

Answer 6

no, your mother isn't crazy sounds more like she's human we all have our troubles and hang ups and it sounds like your mother is lashing out at everyone around her because she's un happy with her self she's hurting and sometimes when where hurting we want everyone else to hurt to it isn't intention but your mother and farther sounds like they need some counseling as well as you and your siblings and sometime people don't even know something is the matter until someone tells them how you feel about what is going on maybe you should write a letter to your mother that explain your feelings about what is going on in the home and with your sister from your point of view with no I hate you or I blame you involve and maybe she will see that her actions are hurting you as well as your farther and sister.
PS never hate someone for lashing out at you pity them for not knowing a better way to say something is hurting me and I don't know how to fix it.

Answer 7

yea so your mom is going through some problems and it isn't fair that you guys have to deal with it like that. your dad is probably still with you mom because he loves her through thick and thin. maybe hes thinking about divorcing her. who knows the only way to really find out is to have a talk with your dad and tell him what is going on with your feelings. i have an idea of what you are going through and its the worst feeling in the world to see your mom putting your family down and yourself and i feel it isn't right. i have nobody to go to to talk about it like you have your dad so take advantage of it and talk to him even though things might not change. when you are able to move out (as soon as possible) make sure to spend as much time with your dad as possible and believe it or not your mom. she needs as much love as she can during these times. you never know when you might lose her and whatever she does to you guys you'll miss her when shes gone. be a good daughter and try to help her i know how hard it is and it used to affect my hole entire life meaning everything i did. take your mom as an example of what you do not want to be when your a mother and take her as an example of what you do want to be. theres always a little good in the bad. i wish you the best of luck i really do.

Answer 8

Never say you hate anyone. You hate their ways. Do a lot of praying . Let your Dad know how much you love him. Sometimes it is better not to say anything. Yes I believe something is wrong with your mother. But your Dad is the only one who can do anything about it.

Answer 9

Its not wrong to want the divorce. I am so sorry for you having to go through this. I assume you still talk to your sister through email. There is not much you can do. I think the best thing you can do is talk to your father and tell him how you feel. You just need to be strong until you can get out of that house. Its hard, but you just need to pull through. Whatever you do, just don't grow up to be like her.

Answer 10

Hang in there. Times are tough and you sound like you have more sense and stability than your mom. I feel that divorce should be discussed between your mom and dad as they were the 2 that started this bond. Good luck and God bless you.