Marrying into a extremely religious family... HELP!!?

Question

I am getting married to a man that is an atheist, as am I, but his family is ultra-religious! Ever since we told them we were getting married outside of the church, his mother has been harrassing me daily. She threatens to make up stories about me to get me arrested. His sister calls me crying begging me to get married in the family church. My fiancee doesn't answer the phone anymore. My father has taken a restraining order out on his mother because she keeps driving by our house and honking her horn. Really! Like 8 times a day! More on weekends!


Is there anything I can say to these people to make them understand that they are just pushing their son/bro away? We're planning on moving three states away in a year, but we'll have to find some sort of peace until then.

I don't understand how they can say they are good christians and then act like this to a family member!

Any advice??

Answer 1

what you are doing is legal


what THEY are doing is ILLEGAL HARASSMENT STALKING


you can't make up stories to get someone arrested, all the police will do is laugh at HER!

obviousely they won't listen to you, otherwise i would say sit down and talk to the family,
tell the sister this is YOUR choice and not her's,
tell the mother
EVERYTHING she is doing, threatening, stalking,
is not only against the law, but also against the bible they worship.



They aren't good christians,
a good christian would with the two of you a happy life together, and ask when AND WHERE the wedding is.


My parents are religiouse and got married in a vegas chapel.



For one show them this post and the answers you harvest.


They will learn unfortunately it will be when it's too late.



Best of luck to you with the in laws, and congrats on the marrige.

Answer 2

There is nothing that you can say that is going to make this all better. And, in reality, it is not there place.

As Christians, they should be considered about their son's soul and yours. But that does not mean in any way shape or form that they should harrass you constantly. Or pressure you to get married in a church.

If you want to try to talk to them about being married in a church and why it's not happening - ask them why they want this? Do they think that you and him are going to convert suddenly? Or that God needs to be involved? Explain to them that getting married in a church would not only be a betrayal to your stance, but also a betrayal to their beliefs. That it wouldn't mean anything - and may even be a mockery of their beliefs.

The only other thing you can do is just treat them as kindly as you can. Which may be hard. They may have some views on athiesm that are not correct - or may believe that you just need to be guided to God. Treat them with kindness and respect. Don't become upset or angry - which will just fuel their fire and make them think that atheists are just frightened of the faithful.

Answer 3

Actually it sounds like some untraCatholic people I've met (no offense to normal Catholics please). It's not about their religion but about the church and their need to put up a front or facade to feel accepted. There is nothing you can do to make them see reason. If you and your fiance believe you can make it despite the problems, get a restraining order, call the police whenever necessary, and move as soon as possible. I suspect they will be hard until the end. You have my sympathy. They are being ridiculous.

Answer 4

People who are very religious about anything, including their atheism, can be very annoying - just look around at most of the trolls here on Yahoo Answers. These people are apparently separating their religion from their real life - what they do Sunday morning does not affect the rest of the way their live their life.

We don't of course know his situation or how he's reacted to them in the past, of course. If he's been just as obnoxious as them, it's not an excuse for their behavior, but it does make it more understandable.

In any case, as a serious Christian, I can only say "I'm sorry, but please don't be mindless and connect all other Christians to this one 'religious' family."

Answer 5

I've best met one Pakistani - he has a female friend of 3 years that his household does not understand approximately. He's been dwelling right here in PH for 10 years now, his uncle and different cousins understand approximately the woman however I doubt his household in Pakistan is aware of approximately her. He is slight mannered and smooth - no less than to her or as to what he attempts to exhibit. When I met him, I grew to be his lady and all I can say is that he very difficult toward me. What I am looking to say is - you cannot quite believe how they look to start with.

Answer 6

Tell them that if they don't stop you two will move away and they will never see or hear from either of you ever again and it will be their own fault. Tell his mother that when you have children with him that if she continues to act as she does she will never ever get to know her grandchildren.
They had probably hoped to 'bring him back into the fold' and only see you as preventing that from happening. Their actions and deeds are wrong behavior for Christians, you could always try talking to their Pastor to have him see how serious you are about this but it is unlikely that you would get anywhere with it. Demand that your fiance deal with them and put them in their place, if he won't do it now he never will.
Get used to the fact that they may always be this way.

Answer 7

I am truely sorry that your prospective in-laws are treating you like this.

The only thing that I can tell you is to treat them more "Christian"ly than they do you.

Paul said in Romans 12:14
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

They will either accept you or reject you. That is up to them, and not you. Their problem is not with you but with God. Either way, you can only "win" by beating them at the game they are supposed to be living out before you. Love them, they will one day be the grandparents of your (future) kids; and then you will both want a good relationship!

Paul went on to say in Romans 12:17
Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.

Even if you are athiests, and they are Christians, this is the right thing to do.

Romans 12:20
"BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD."

Sorry about the all caps, but it's a quote from teh Old Testament, from Proverbs 25:21-22
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; 22 For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you.

Even if they do not change, they should be ashamed of themselves.

Answer 8

The family is obligated to try to have you understand why it is vital for both of you to have faith, so that when you die and you will, you will have a spot in the kingdom of God. They are going about it in the wrong way. Seems they're pushing but so are the both of you. Maybe you should just move away in respect of the pain you are causing. They simply care for you so much, they are out of ways to go about this. You don't care at all, not answering the phone, not acknowledging them when they try to visit. Who is going to go to your wedding. They want you to be married and blessed in a spiritual union, you don't want this so why don't you go off to Vegas and do it that way. You are all hurting each other.

Answer 9

Good God, what church do these people belong to? This is very sick behavior that goes beyond what a worried family would or should do in this situation.

My advice: move NOW, not in several months. Well, get married before you live together, but MOVE.

Answer 10

Lie.

Church shop for a liberal protestant church that is willing to bless your marriage. Tell your witch-in-law that you will get married in the church but it will be in your church. Don't have a reception (you can tell her it's to save money). Instead invite your friends to a party after the honeymoon. Once you are out of town, cut them off.