My parents haven't given me a birthday or Christmas present for the last five or six years, because they said they couldn't afford it. I never did complain, and now I've moved out, I'm twenty, but is this reasonable, or is something wrong with them? I never could afford presents for them either, but I was a teen with no allowance, and they're adults.
I don't really care, but my friend says they are rotten parents and should have found a way.
2007-03-20 11:01:38 · 21 answers · asked by skunkytruck 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yeah, well, I AM over that, my friend just made me curious what y'all would think, cause I never thought to be that pissed about it.
But no, they don't really love me, they didn't want me and raised me out of duty. They kicked me out over a religious issue, and won't even speak to me hardly now. They say they love me, but they don't treat me as nice as even my brother or friends do. They're all caught up in their religion.
2007-03-20 11:19:56 · update #1
They didn't even hardly remember my birthday. And please, I'm not asking them for presents, I really don't care, I'm just trying to figure out if they were honest or miserly. They had enough to bail me out when my ins came due a year ago. So no they're not broke. See I thought they were perfect parents, and now I'm not sure, I want to understand if they're really as messed up as some of my friends say.
2007-03-20 11:24:09 · update #2
The friend is in his forties or fifties, he's not my generation, he's more my moms'.
2007-03-20 11:25:47 · update #3
Yeah, that's not real nice. My parents never had a lot of money - but they always got me gifts for holidays and such. Maybe they are just not big gift givers? Do they give other people gifts?
Some people just don't like giving gifts. Sorry you didn't get gifts. Now that you're older you so go treat yourself to some presents. :)
2007-03-20 11:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by charlie 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sorry but nobody should expect presents for any occasion. The fact that your here is a gift in itself and a very big one. I realize that the majority of parents do continue to give gifts all through out the children's lives you shouldn't expect it. The thought of, well they should have found a way is unfair. Maybe they were trying to find away to keep food on table or a roof over your head or clothes on your back. Those things are a little more important than presents. Holiday's or Birthdays are a celebration of life not of presents. If their at least acknowledging these days with you then your still blessed.
2007-03-20 11:18:56 · answer #2 · answered by Stacy M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hesitate to say your parents were rotten parents, but on the other hand, it seems pretty hard to believe that in 5 or 6 years they couldn't manage even 1 gift for Christmas. And there are quite a few programs in communities for families who can't afford gifts for their kids, they could have checked into that for help. I won't be judgemental, but, I think they could have found a way, even if it was a homemade gift or something. Someday you will have your own family and you will be able to make everybody's birthday and Christmas as festive as you always wanted, so cheer up!
2007-03-20 11:21:03 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So let me get this straight....it didn't bother you before....but it bothers you now?
I read some of the responses. Cold hearted if you ask me. I'm sure your parents wished they could have done something for those special occasions. But you know what?...Doesn't matter. There were times in my family that things got tight. We weren't BROKE....but things came up. My dad apologized for not getting me something for my birthday....and he gave me a big hug. The hug was better than any present by FAR. Looking back, it was better that the bills were paid than buying a GI Joe.
Don't go telling your parents that it bothers you now. It'll just make them feel guilty about all the years they were scraping a living and didn't do anything then either.
2007-03-20 11:25:41 · answer #4 · answered by phillyvic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are other ways to show love than giving gifts. Did your parents go out of their way to make you feel special? Was Christmas more of a religious or commercial holiday?
In the scheme of things, no birthday presents doesn't seem like a huge thing. The important thing is whether or not they made you feel special and loved. Your friend's opinion, while valid for your 'gimme' generation, means squat.
2007-03-20 11:21:22 · answer #5 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but maybe they couldent aford it and if you are 20 you are old enough to figure this out on your own did they have a good income coming in to meet the bills,food, utilitys,and houseing, all that has to be done for a home to keep the up keep if only one parent worked they probley dident have the money liveing is not cheep and did you the clothes you needed ,did you help in buying reasonably priced clothes or did you have to have name brand it all cost and maybe your parents dident want to ask for cherity alot of people are like that , my kids dont get allowance but they do there chores they live here as well as me and my husband and they dirty more than we do so as a family we dont give allowance for chores if they need money we make them earn it it keeps them learning that they have to work for what they want
2007-03-20 11:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by family fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this with my sister with Christmas. I finally wrote her a letter telling her that she didn't need to send me any presents but she could at least send me a card -- and if she couldn't afford a card, she could at least send me a letter wishing me Merry Christmas -- ANYONE can afford to do that. It wasn't the amount of money involved, it was simply making an effort to let me know that she remembered me and was thinking of me. It worked. She now sends me a Christmas present, and I send her one, too.
I think maybe she felt like if she couldn't do as much as she wanted to do, she wouldn't think about it and it would go away. I'll bet your parents are in the same situation. Write them a letter and tell them it bothers you that they don't do anything for your birthday -- tell them that if they can't afford a present, at least send a card or a letter. And quite frankly, no-one is so poor that they can't send any present at all to their daughter -- particularly since they aren't having to feed you anymore. Maybe it's just a $5 present, but at least it's a present.
2007-03-20 11:16:31 · answer #7 · answered by Corinnique 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well your friend is from the MTV generation where love is measured by how many cell phones you have and if you have the best 100 dollar pair of jeans. If your parents couldn't afford it at least they were honest with you. As long as they loved you and you were raised to be a decent human being with hopes, dreams and aspirations and self respect you are way ahead of your friends. Material objects truly have no meaning. Unfortunatly most young people can't grasp that concept.
2007-03-20 11:06:24 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should just try talking with your parents. I am sure that it does not feel to not be able to buy you a birthday present. Do they call you and tell you happy birthday and let you know that they are thinking of you and love you? You lived with them, you should know their financial situation. Give them a break and if you need to let them know that it is hurting your feelings.
2007-03-20 11:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by BeThAnY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say your friend is wrong, just because they couldn't afford to buy you a present does not make them rotten parents. your friend parents might have the extra money to spend and thats fine, yours didn't and thats fine, and you say you don't care but you must or you wouldn't be asking this. but one thing you do have from your parents is their love and you know the value of money, and no present is worth it. your parents love is all that you could ever want, and will last a life time.
2007-03-20 11:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋