It always seems that my mom will always protect my sis more than me. For example, today I ,made this cake and she somehow found every flaw in it and then my sis made mac+cheese and she couldnt have screwed it up more but my mom just nutured her and guided her. It kinda seems that I am left to fend for myself cuz all the attetion is on my sis..sorry HAil Is this unnormal or totally normal??
2007-03-20 10:47:52 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Okay heres some more...whenever I talk to her, she denies it and we fight (she just thinks that I want attention and that I want to make her look bad) and yes my sis is younger than me
2007-03-20 11:01:59 · update #1
Totally normal.
It's easy to take "not being favored" personally. I know...it happened to me.
I am older now (35), and have come to realize that my sister needed more help than I did. I was more self-sufficient, more independant, and more head-strong.
It tore me up for years....to think that I was not as good as she, and that she was favored over me.
Coming to the realization that I have always had more "power", or drive (for lack of better words) has been liberating.
I no longer resent my sister.....just love her.
2007-03-20 10:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by Kendra O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe your sister is going through some kind of girl stuff and needed the extra encouragement...you didn't say who is older, ages and stuff so it's hard to tell...i'm sure that sometimes it seems like we parents favor one kid over another, if this seems to be the trend and not just for today, then talk to your mom in a nice way and tell her how you feel without say that any one else is doing anything wrong, just share how it makes you feel, not that what they are doing is wrong, maybe ask if there's something you can help with, maybe you just felt left out of the loop, or like I said, your sister may have had a hard day that only she and your mom knew about, but your mom should've been nicer to you about the cake...you and your sister don't compete for your mom's attention do you? sometimes mom's screw up when they are tired or distracted. Have you looked at that you might be just a bit jealous , unless this sort of thing happens all of the time and not just once in a while...sit back and really think about things before you act...sometimes you may just be having a bad day and needed some time from your mom but since she didn't know, she didn't give it to you, and then the cake and your sisiter's mac n cheese just set you off the wrong way...it could be lots of things...it has always helped me to try to think about different perspectives before i make any accusations, etc...as a mom myself, i someytimes see things from a different perspective than others and sometimes makes me mess up in my own thinking and accuse someone of something that i just thought up because i didn't talk about it, i just let my thoughts about it go on and on forever until they are bigger than the original situation...i hope this makes sense to you...since i don't know how old you are. good luck and tread carefully, you can't take words back and you can't turn back time.
2007-03-20 11:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by sweetie pie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have struggled with this most of my life. I am 29 and still have some jealous tendancies over my little sister. Growing up I of course being older made mistakes first and a few years later my sister would do the exact same thing if not worse and the punishment to her was nothing compared to what I got. If she wanted she got. I was the one not to ask for anything in fear of being told "no". Now that I have my own childeren I have learned it isn't "favorites" You have to treat and raise each child different because they are totally different individuals. You and your sister have very different personalities and ways of thinking that your parents have to respect and nurture so you both can be all you ever want to be. Hope this helps, keep your eyes open to this and you will see what I am talking about. Chin up& be yourself . Bet your sister has the same thoughts you are having too.
2007-03-20 11:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by Alley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's terrible- why would she point out flaws IN A CAKE??? That you made, nonetheless. Your mom doesn't seem fair judging from this example. Is your sister younger? More subservient? They tend to favor the younger and/or the more subservient or the one that displays a needy disposition. What she did was unhealthy but don't let it affect how you view yourself as a person. That behavior can make a child/daughter doubt herself becuase she thinks it's a flaw in her, but don't do that. Tell her how you feel and get her to listen by expressing how these things that she does make you feel. Hopefully she'll understand and listen.
2007-03-20 10:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother may be doing this subconciously. She may see you as the stronger child and that you do not need as much nurtering. My parents did the same with me. What they did is made me more independent than my sister. I graduated college before her and she is 2 years older. I bought everything I own by myself. My parents bought her her first car. Like I said, she could just percieve you as the stronger child.
Did you have different fathers? Was there something tramatic that happened to her when you were being born? There could be many reasons
2007-03-20 11:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by Paul S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that is how my whole entire life has been and I am 37 years old. I am currently going through a situation where my sister acted like a total rude freak at some friends house this weekend (our parents were there as well as my sister and her family and me and my family) and somehow my mom thinks she was justified and blames me for her actions. ?????? I don't get it....I just stay away from them as much as possible. I am much happier that way!
Good luck!
2007-03-20 10:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW ! im no longer on my own in spite of everything ... i understand what you recommend thoroughly my mom is the right comparable way yet my sister is older in effortless terms by utilising 2 years an they help her dream of being a nurse yet dosent help me in any respect i consistently wanted to understand the comparable question yet all i ever have been given grow to be "no person is showing favoritism" whilst they even have been the terrific suggestion i'm going to offer to you is to offer up nerve-racking approximately it .. you notice how they're an nerve-racking approximately it's going to make you disillusioned like i grow to be in case you pick suggestion communicate on your closest relative or your bestfriend
2016-10-02 11:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this is not normal at all.
Not all parents favor one kid over the other kid. In my house, I love my kids and give all five of them the same attention.
Talk with your mom about this before you begin to resent your mom and sis.
2007-03-20 10:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, parents can favor one child over the other. Learn from your mother's short-sightedness and don't do the same to your kids. Good luck on pointing this out to your mom.
2007-03-20 10:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by Antrozous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some Parents seem to do that with out realizing that they're hurting the other kid. I can totally relate to everything you're saying.
2007-03-20 10:52:38 · answer #10 · answered by Cricket 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋