There is a girl in the office who can be just terrible to stand next to because of her B.O., so the people in my office are complaining to me about it, and now they've started spraying perfume all over the place. I'm allergic to most perfumes and so I can't get a full days work in because I have to keep going home because of the toxicity of the office. Any advice on how to confront someone nicely about their personal hygiene so that everyone can be considerate of each other's nostrils?
2007-03-20 10:21:48 · 8 answers · asked by TJ 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think you can go about it one of two ways. First, if you are a very close personal friend of the girl, you can bring it up to her. Say either "Leticia, I have heard some complaints about odor by somebody around here" and let her make her own conclusions, or "Since we are best friends (if you really are), I wanted to tell you about something I noticed." The idea here is that you are sparing her feeling by either being indirect or implying that it's only you who noticed.
If you are not EXTREMELY close to her, go to the boss. He or she can talk to her in one of the two manners recommended above. However, somebody in that "middle area" - you're kind of friends, or just co-workers - should not talk to her. That should be left to the boss to handle. Otherwise you will set yourself up for some real bad feelings from her.
2007-03-20 10:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by Gary B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DRIVE HER INSANE!
Create a new e-mail account with her name on yahoo or something and send it to her work e-mail address all day with random messages. You could include links about deodorant, how BO can be treated effectively by a dermatologist, etc., put it in the e-mail so she'll think someone knows that she's gossiping; this may straighten out the problem a bit!
If not, it will drive her crazy having e-mails coming in to her from herself! Use the computers at your local library.
If you don't feel comfortable doing that, put a stick of deodorant on her desk when she is not looking.
2007-03-21 16:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by Reserved 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is ridiculous. What is with all the trying to tell her in a nice way that she smells like a corpse? There is no excuse for being filthy. She must know she smells. These kind of people have no respect for themselves so why should they care if you're barfing all over the office?
2007-03-20 14:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by cswint2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go to a supervisor. She will be mortified if she hears that everyone has complained about her.
As a peer, you are the best one to deal with this.
Be direct but gentle.
It's like telling someone they have spinach in their teeth. They don't realize it themselves, but hopefully someone has the balls to tell them.
Next time you find yourself alone with her, mention that "she has some proverbial spinach in her teeth"... That she has BO but probably can't notice it herself. Suggest a good deodorant soap and underarm deodorant and a nice smelling laundry detergent.
2007-03-20 10:42:45 · answer #4 · answered by s2pified 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a personnel issue. Talk to the girl's supervisor and let him/her know about the problem. If the supervisor is too cowardly to address the issue, go to your HR department.
I'm sure, once they realize that they are losing productive time from you because of this, they will take care of it ASAP. Just don't talk to her about it directly-it's not your place to do so-unless YOU are her supervisor-in which case you MUST talk to her about it, as tactfully as you can.
2007-03-20 10:30:35 · answer #5 · answered by Daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a friend, indeed! Kudos to you, girlfriend!
Many yrs ago, I worked at an office where a poorly dressed, odor strong gal worked. I heard people complain about her over & over. She was very shy, and I didn't know how to approach her. I'm sorry that I wasn't pro-active about it because next thing I knew, the company fired her due to the complaints. I'm not even sure if they even had the kindness to pull her aside and make suggestions...
So here we are today, and you have a similar dilemma. You want to help without insulting her feelings or damaging any potential friendship with her. Let me do some brainstorming:
1. Hold an AVON, BeautiControl, or similar party that has lots of goodies to buy for personal health. Invite her. Have cute little goody gifts for those who come, and make sure she gets one that contains bath gels, shampoo, deoderants, etc.
2. Find out if she has a birthday coming up and see if you can slip her a gift of toiletries.
3. Buddy up with her and be friendly in that, you invite her to your room, and you show her the neat stuff you have, tell her of stories of like - When you first did laundry and you messed up, but you learned how by..... this way she picks up on washing her clothes - she may not realize the importance, how often, how to even do it! And stories of allergies to some deoderant, but this one by So-N-So company works really great and is nicely perfumed. See if she'll allow you to share some spots of perfumes, test them for you , and see if she likes them. And what of this shampoo? Oh my, you think you are allergic to it, you hate to throw it away - would she like it? On & on, use your imagination with interesting scenario's and without being directed toward her. You'd have to be very careful of how you word things....
4. Send in her name & address to companies that give samples of toiletries. Maybe she'll begin to try some.
5. Invite her to go on a day's shopping excursion with you. Take her to nice clothing places that have sales racks (that YOU prefer, you see...), then to the drug store, you are out of such-n-such and it does such a great job of ...... whatever. And be sure to go grab lunch.
Prod her for information of her background: did she grow up in poverty? without a mom? was she abused in such a way that she felt less of herself - thereby not taking care of herself? If you understand where she comes from then you can help her better now. Allow her to take you gently into her confidence; be buddies for a long while before you begin to take these "baby steps" into doing a "Pygmalion" or "My Fair Lady" transition on her.
Whatever you decide to do, you will both benefit - she will learn how to take better care of herself, and you will grow in personal depth and character. I'm very excited that you are willing to tackle this situation and not just sit back and watch this girl go deeper into her anti-social habits. Take it slow, do it with patience, and keep her heart foremost in your mind.
032007 4:31
2007-03-20 10:31:50 · answer #6 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be embarrassing, but would`t you want to know if you had BO?...Just say that a coworker mentioned something to you...
If you are too shy, give her a nice basket from the bath and body works...she might get the message...
2007-03-20 10:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by seee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you the supervisor? If not, why are they complaining to you?
I would tell her supervisor, and let him/her handle it in a private manner.
2007-03-20 10:25:55 · answer #8 · answered by Chris S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋