The father of this child lives in The Netherlands, we always talked about having a baby, that was one of our dreams and our relationship wasn´t always strong. When I found out I was pregnant, I was confused because I already have a 3yr old boy with my ex-husband, but my boyfriend seemed to be quite happy about it, he took me to visit some houses, to a immigration lawyer and we had an argument about something stupid that made us say goodbye with a bad feeling.Now, 1 week after I came back home, he told me that he didn´t want us to live together anymore, that I could count on him for money, but that was all he would provide. I tried to talk to him, but he told me his decision won´t change, no matter what, but he would support any decision I make about this pregnancy.I feel like he gave me 2 options: kill it or keep it and don´t expect anything but money from me.I really don´t know what to do, I thought about abortion, but considering all the risks, I don´t feel comfortable with that.HELP
2007-03-20 10:11:34 · 23 answers · asked by Lady in red 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First off you should not be listening to the advice given to you on here, go seek some counseling, planned parenthood can do this for free. They will help you with either decision, pregnancy or termination. You situation is complex and surely needs more guidence by professionals. Planned parenthood will not pressure you into either decision, and which ever one you make for whatever reasons is the right decision, try to keep that in mind. I wish you good luck.
2007-03-22 13:08:05 · answer #1 · answered by laura n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First i am pro chose
and that means making a choose
you sound to me like you want to keep it ....regardless of what he wants or will do you have to decide what is best for you if you are having droughts
then do not have an abortion because you will regret it later in life
as far as the risks you need to talk to a dr and find out what they really are and what are false you will hear allot of stuff on here that is not true about abortions get the facts then make a decision
I have had one (14 years ago ) and i know the risks and the truths about them there are many web sites you can look at and sites where you can talk to Dr's and other women that have had one
get the information before you make your choice
and understand your reasons for why you want one or don't want one
2007-03-20 13:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The position he has put you in wrong. The fact that he is leaving you the choice of either aborting the baby or raising it without his love and help besides money is wrong. As far as abortion I have had 2 the first I was about 8 weeks a long and the 2nd I was 4 weeks. Since then I have had two full term pregnancy and births with no complications. I didn't have any troubles getting pregnant either. I hope this helps a little if your still considering an abortion.
2007-03-20 10:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by Stacy M 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
he has to pay child support. Please don't condemn your child because your relationship didn't work out.he should be shot for saying kill it. it is a baby at 4 weeks ago its heart began to beat and its ears started to grow. even if you are worried about finances there are many programs out there for single moms. Wick, and there are medical cards for women to pay for a lot of there pregnancy I know a few Friends 3 or 4 who have made it fine and were pondering abortion,(because the daddy was from another contry an illegal immigrant, who does not pay any child support because he changed his name and ran) but she found someone who loves her a lot and treats her daughter like she was his. There will always be someone to love and take care of you it just takes time. I askedher now that her child is 2yrs old would she have been better off or happier if she gave up her child in abortion and she says she is so happy and doesn't know what she would do if she had to go one day without her child's precious smile. I also have a relative of mine who had to abortions in her life, one do to medical complications(not her choice) and one out of a ruined relationship. She has never forgiven herself. Today when we discuss my pregnancy and the development that are happening each week she says she doesn't want to know when the heart beats for the first time or anything like that because she has such guilt, regret and painful memories. The physical pain and mental anguish, she convinced me never to do that to a child or myself. Adoption would at least give the child a hope for a future and a good life. And with adoption you can have contact with your child and a relationship in the future. I would feel better knowing my child was playing somewhere than dead. good luck and make the right choice for everyone not for that loser guy. You and your baby are worth it.
2007-03-20 12:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by Dulce 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
well the fact that you have another child i can understand y u dont want to bring another to this world already being a single mother and the fact that you are having problems with him u know what it is to be a mother and the love that u feel towards your child its hard because what ur holdin within will also be ur child only you can know if having that child would be good for you or itself but dont let that guy be the reason for ur choice if he is only willin to support u with money i am sure u can give that baby what it needs which is love if u feel that your not in your best time to be having a baby then do consider the option of obortion dont bring a life in this to suffer
2007-03-20 10:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by nata s 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There is a THIRD option. You could always have the baby and give it up for adoption. If you are having doubts don't do it. Keep the pregnancy and keep an open mind towards adoption, who knows you may fall hopelessly in love with this baby in a month. I Miscarried in Jan. @ 8 weeks and I was already so in love with that baby. Good Luck and God Bless.
My advice: Don't do it.
2007-03-20 10:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by Who Me? 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't abort the baby because of him. It's your baby, when you have the baby he may come around and if he doesn't then you have still been blessed by a precious baby. I bet that your 3 year old would love to have a sister or brother. Don't let your relationship with the father dictate whether you have your baby or not! If you have an abortion, you will most likely regret it for the rest of your life.
2007-03-20 10:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by BeThAnY 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
i grow to be donning a abdomen band exceptionally early this time. all people exhibits speedier the 2d time around -- your muscle tissues have already stretched out. And my boobs have been given extra effective immediately too. i'm huge now because of the fact I in no way shrank decrease back to my pre preggo length!
2016-10-02 11:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by gregersen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that he's willing to be responsible for the child. You caught a huge break there. If the father is willing to do his share, it makes it easier for you to give the child a chance. If you keep the child you won't have to deal with the regrets that all too often accompany those who don't. Not saying it won't be easy, but it will be the right thing to do and your conscience will be at peace. blessings
2007-03-20 10:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by Andres 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Keep the baby! Is there a Crisis Pregnancy center near you? They are usually very willing to help. Even if you decide to give the baby up for adoption that's better than abortion.
God will provide for both of you!
2007-03-20 10:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by ArmyWifey 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋