My 3 year old has been living with my inlaws for the past 6 months while my husband and I were going thru a divorce...we have now worked out our differences and plan to stay together and take our child back with the both of us...the problem is when we would go and visit her she was afraid we were leaving her forever, she is having nightmares and cries when she is left at daycare...how can I make this an easy transition from the grandparents house back to living with her parents?? Please help!
2007-03-20 09:51:51 · 6 answers · asked by Bailey 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Well first, congrats on working it out, now head for the children's section of your local library, WITH your child along to help. Even if you go first, including your child in finding answers to problems here is a good idea. Be sure to ask the attendant at the children's desk for help. Even in times when I was pretty sure of a 'plan' in diffucult situations, and especially when dealing with 'fear of' subjects, the library's kid section is THE BEST.
Then when you have a couple to your liking to tote home, I would do this... point out to your child the facts, you and daddy had a problem and now you don't. That even when your child lived at grandma's NEITHER OF YOU EVER LEFT FOR GOOD. YOU ALWAYS RETURNED.
Make sure if you haven't already and even if you have to repeatedly tell your child, NONE of this was their doing. They will need to hear that for awhile, and I know there are great books for that specific alone!!
The nightmares are like any nightmare, try to get the picture, and explain and assure it away, piece by piece.
Last but not least, since a new agreement has been reached by you and your husband, include your child in a new agreement that deals with one or two points important to your child. Simple agreeable 'rules' for you and dad and child, should there EVER be need for any one of you to be living apart from the others. Easy and very effective. Have no more than three.
This is the scariest thing for any kid at any age to deal with, it takes a tremendous amount of simple truths, lots of love and just seeing what is most present in their mind...
Good luck to you and your family.
2007-03-20 10:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by meberi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe have her just come to you on visits at first and then maybe after a couple of weeks ask if she would like to stay the night.
Redecorate her bedroom and tell her that she is welcome to stay whenever she wants.
Also she is very young don't put pressure on her and maybe let grandma tell her that she loves having her around and that there is always a place for her there to stay whenever she feels like it and that it is Ok to go back to Mummy and Daddy if she wants to.
Sometimes kids get upset for the person they are leaving so if granny says she will be OK...it may make a difference.
I wish you all the best on this one
2007-03-20 10:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids like that age need security, protection. However you do it, they need someone to watch over. That is normal. As time goes by, they will need less protection. In her case, sad, but somehow she has to go thru parent divorce.
2007-03-20 10:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by YourDreamDoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to
http://www.magfundraising.com/BaruchWrestling
and they have over 650 of the most popular magazines and up to 85 percent off
there is a whole section dedicated to parenting and teaching little kids
Read them stories and make them feel cozy
2007-03-20 15:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by wxy0062003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Create a routine. Give lots of attention and spend a lot of time snuggling. Kids thrive on routine and it is very comforting. Always keep your promises.
2007-03-20 09:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by Joy H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her something of yours that you always have (nothing expensive, she may lose it). Tell her that she is going to keep whatever it is safe until you come back. This way she knows it is something you like and will come back for.
2007-03-20 09:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋