Do you get along with your parents-in-law?

Question

If not, what do they do that ticks you off? And do you think they do it intentionally?

I don't have any parents-in-law at the moment (unless you count my sister's husband's parents...but I don't think they're exactly parents-in-law), so I am curious about this.

Answer 1

Parents-in-law are the worst. They still think of their children as children and, frankly, tend to try to keep them somewhat immature and dependent upon them. The fact that you are having sex with their beloved child makes it worse for them. I am sure it is bad for women marrying into another family but it HAS to be worse for males entering into another family. As a male you are viewed with suspicion as you are regularly deflowering their little princess. I also think that mothers in law are far more devious and pace themselves for a lifetime of passive aggressive abuse toward their sons in law. I am sorry I just HATE my in laws. I like the idea of distance. If that is not possible, one should limit visits to one a month at most. Generally the child will be more sensitive to the perceived slights directed at their parents by the spouse. Fights about priorities regularly ensue. It IS the job of the child to set the parents straight in CLEAR unmistakable tones. If this is NOT done, the spouse will become resentful and may simply leave to try to find a partner with whom he or she feels loyalty. I think this lack of loyalty may also be the source of some extramarital affairs. The best thing to do is assess the codependency of your fiance with his or her parents BEFORE the marriage and if that codependency is strong....LEAVE before it is too late!

Answer 2

My first marriage was bad but my mother in law was the best. When he was caught cheating (over and over) she was the one who said I should leave the bum. We stayed friends until she passed away.
My second mother in law was kind and very nice and I was discouraged from visiting her even though she lived next door. I found out after my husbands death that he didn't want me learning his secrets from her.
I gave up on marrying after two mistakes. I have found a wonderful man who has been by my side for several years now. Unfortunately his mother is the most offensive woman I have ever met (sigh) I would like to be friends but he can't even stand to be around her. She is demanding and bossy and it never occurs to her to say thank you. She doesn't hesitate to wake her son to tell him that she might need to price new tires for her car. I choose to believe she doesn't try to be that way but I don't know how else she could suceed so well.

Answer 3

My mother in law is the biggest whitch in the planet. She is always trying to find ways to get to me!!! Like she's always telling my husband about his old girlfriends..."Ohh I saw Brittany last week, she says hi" OMG that pisses me off so bad...But I'm not the perfect daughter in law either, do my dirty deeds as well. I mean we can never compete with mothers..they're always going to come first, but Why make other people's life misserable...Ohh yeah and my father in law...he's just another puppet ! I do have to say, Payback is a *****..and some day I will get it!!!

Answer 4

Absolutely not. My father-in-law is a money hungry a$$hole that keeps screwing the family for money and my mother in law is a wacko that chooses which grandchildren to love. Both my sister in laws are whores and my brother in law sleeps w/ anything that has sweetie hole. And that's my husbands version of his famiy. You should hear what I have to say about them.

Answer 5

I hate my parents in law. when I gave birth to my kids my mother in law didn't want to stay with me in the hospital meanwhile my husband callpeople. she complain. why can your family do it. anyhow she never help me out with any of my kids when they were babies like babysit and stuff like that. I HAD NOONE TO HELP ME. I had no money for a babysitter or no one to help me with the cleaning. My husband was so busy working. when I would stay in her house she would wake up my child on porpose. and she make problems between me and my husband. My father in law is no better than her. His worst! while I was getting inside his car he started the car and he crushed my foot with his wheel. it hurts real badly.I am afraid to get in his car is not the first time he does it. although he apologizes I just dont trust him.

Answer 6

Keep it civil and cordial. Never say anything negative about spouses mother.

They will start off by being v.v.v nice indeed, this changes over the years with familiarity.

Unless you really hit it off, don't disclose your problems or any discussion about your spouse with in-laws. Don't allow them to talk negatively about your spouse, i.e.,"I don't want to hear this, its unkind"

Some are irrationally nosey and/or gossipy, so unless you want your business spread all over town or to extended family, keep your difficulties to yourself or close friends, counsellor, cat, dog, mouse.

Never let them have/keep a copy of your house key (some decide to keep it if they mind your house for you while your away).

Keep distant from any family arguments, don't take sides and let them know you don't want to hear negative stuff, don't know or want to know anything about it. They can work out their own problems or go to counselling.

Stay assertive, don't do things you don't want to otherwise you will be miserable.

Don't let them "drop" over when they feel like it. Make it clear a telephone call is necessary. Even then, its your choice if you want them over, can always say "its not convenient".

House guesting them is only okay, if BOTH of you are okay with this. Like fish, guests start to smell after 3 days.

You don't have to explain yourself unless you are a monster or have murdered someone.

Answer 7

I love my in-laws! They are the most wonderful people. I have a wonderful set of real parents too. My in-laws would drop everything if we needed something and they have on many occasions. I am really blessed to have them in our lives and the lives of our children.

Answer 8

We get along just fine. The key is limiting contact with them if they tend to be on the annoying side. I see my in-laws about once every six weeks and we live in the same town. Works out just fine for all parties involved.

Answer 9

I get along with my in-laws BUT one thing that my mother-in law does that really pisses me off is play favorites with her children! my husband has 5 brothers and sisters and she (my mother in law) is always talking about one of her daughters ALL THE TIME! I think in her eyes this daughter is perfect. I now see her doing the same thing with grandchildren. It actually really makes me sad more than pisses me off :(

Answer 10

I get along w/ my mother in law but not my father in law but I have a thing against men who are older than me beacuse I never had a relationship with my dad