My 7 year old step son has a problem with hiding empty candy wrappers under his pillow and in his pockets. His mother says she was told it's called hording and she also thinks it's from bi-polar disorder. Well I looked up Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and hoarding is one of the signs of it. I also looked up bi-polar and hoarding is NOT one of the signs. So how do I tell his mom about this? I've already talked to my husband about it but he doesn't want to get into an arguement with the mother. She's one of those people who thinks that she's right about everything and doesn't listen to anyone but her own family and friends. So what do I do and do you think I'm right about what I have found?
2007-03-20 09:49:33 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Other - Health
Ok I should have mentioned that she HAS taken him to the doctor and either the doctors are telling her he may have bi-polar or she researched hoarding. But I just think it's weird that if she took him to the doctor she should know by now what's going on with him. It's been over a year now. Also he is on medication for ADHD. We see him on the weekends and when we have him out he's compeltely out of control because they do not give him his medication on the weekends. We just found this out this weekend he told us himself. He said they don't give it to him on the weekends because they save his medication for during the week. Should my husband discuss this with the mother also? If we are going to have him out he should have his medication!
2007-03-20 10:03:01 · update #1
I used to do this when I was a kid and it wasn't from OCD, it was because I wasn't allowed to have candy often so I would sneak it and eat it in bed or when I was away from home. Sometimes the easiest answer is right? Has anyone asked him why he does this, because you may find out more than just guessing and online diagnosing him. If it continues to concern the family then suggest to his father he attends the next doctor appointment to voice it directly. Additionally if the mother is saying he has bi-polar without having been properly diagnosed by a doctor then I would be concerned that maybe he's not living with the right parent. It's good that you're an active parent in your stepchildren lives, but sometimes the best solution is to keep out of situations that aren't threatening to the child physically or mentally. Pick your battles and if it's just hoarding candy wrappers, this may not be it. Good luck
2007-03-20 10:04:51 · answer #1 · answered by mandyr26 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having worked in the area of family law for a long time, I would say the answer depends on how your relationship is with your step-son's mom. To my knowledge, hording is a type of OCD. However, I don't know that it's not associated with certain aspects/types of bi-polar disorder, although I have never heard that it is. I think the more important issue here, is deciding whether or not your step-son needs professional help. To answer that, you might try going to a therapist and asking those questions. I'm sure you're aware that you can't decide to put your step-son into any sort of therapy. However, if a therapist you talk to thinks that he might benefit from it, then you can broach the subject with your husband. Although, it may be wise to ask your husband whether he thinks it's important enough to find out if his son needs help, before you go talk to a therapist. I don't presume to know your relationship, but I know how difficult things can be in blended families. I wish you and your family the best.
2007-03-20 10:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by tlsossei 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Print out what you've read, show it to her. Even if you do get into a fight, it's for the sake of a child. You can't turn your head just because you may fight... It's good that you are wanting to tell her. There isn't really any easy/good way to tell a person who "thinks" they are always right. Either way I think you will get into a fight. Like I said just print out what you've read and give it to her, and just tell her that you love your step son, and you were worried so you did some research and found this out, and that he should be looked at, because you both love him and want the best for him.
Good Luck. I hope it all works out, for the sake of the child, and the relationship of you two women.
2007-03-20 09:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are in email contact with her, I would suggest that you email her.
Tell her you were surfing and came across some sites that may be interesting to her.
Then email what you have found on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Bi-Polarism.
Email the link not the actual info. for the sake of the appearance of discretion.
You don't even have to mention it but to say that you sent an email.
Hopefully your step-son will get the help he deserves, which is actual medical help.
2007-03-20 10:02:24 · answer #4 · answered by mxn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've done the research for your friend, that's probably right. However, if your friend is not ready to hear that her son's problem is not as serious as 'bi-polar' , but merely OCD (that many people live with, without terrible life altering afffects), then why tell her? Certainly she knows tha if it the more serious bi-polar disorder, that she needs to take him to a doctor to get the proper meds...when/if she does, then the Dr will tell her she mistaken.
2007-03-20 09:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by ejsheart 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
discuss what u found out, dont make it seem like she is wrong, it is her kid (not trying to be rude but it is, i know he is also urs), but tell her the info u have maybe she got her info from somewhere else, the only way to be sure about whats the matter with him is take him to a doctor or some one that diagnoses these types of disorders. that way he will get help, if he needs it, and u will both know whats the matter.
basically dont worry about what she thinks, just try to the best for the kid, she will probably appreciate that
hope this helped
2007-03-20 09:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by NoOneKnowsMe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you can't diagnose OCD with a single symptom. He might have something in mind for the candy wrappers, or they may have some emotional significance. Children do the darnest things at times, and thats beauty of the mind of a child. This is her child, I would just stay out of the matter until she asks you for your advice, or if the child does something that negatively impacts you personally. OCD is difficult to diagnose in childen even by the most trained professionals. OCD typically does not manifest itself until the early teen years of the child at the earliest with the exception of the most extreme of occasions.
2007-03-20 09:59:42 · answer #7 · answered by jprofitt303 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have 2 friends who were diagnosed with bi-polar while I was hanging around them and they were both hoarders to some extent. It could be the result of a number of things, though. Maybe if he has a counselor or someone who he sees regarding bi-polar disorder, you could discuss it with them and see if they can address it.
2007-03-20 09:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by xskeptictankx 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who's to say he isn't bipolar and has OCD? You can have both at the same time. Since he has a problem and the mother is aware of it why not suggest she get him checked out for these things. Just tell her if she thinks he might be bipolar that it would be a good idea to get his tested so that it can be treated if he does have this.
2007-03-20 09:53:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Show her the facts.
Print out both descriptions of the dissorders and present them to the mother. This will show her you took the time to research the problem and that you truely want whats best. She will be less likely to think of herself as correct and you wrong.
2007-03-20 09:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by Lexa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋