My fiance is zero help right now, he really thought we could plan our 200 person wedding in a month, & has not gotten to 1/2 the stuff he was supposed to. He gets to go on a bachelor party trip Thurs & most of Fri. so he gets to miss all the set up, and just show up and enjoy, unfair! We are remodeling a house, but I really thought perhaps we could put it on hold for a week so we could tie up the lose ends on the wedding, but he is now pitching a fit to go buy baseboards tonight, when he still hasn't gotten all the stuff for the bar taken care of, still needs to get gifts for his servers, reserve hotel rooms for people who had to much to drink, and the list goes on. He pretty much has tonight to do all this, after that he goes out of town, but plans on blowing it off I suppose-or more like handing it to me...I can't handle one more thing, I'm overloaded as it is!
How do I get him to understand that the wedding is NOW and he is out of time to do this stuff, & can't hand it to me?!
2007-03-20 09:47:58 · 15 answers · asked by ASH 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
oh, sorry, to clear things up, the wedding has been planned over a year, its his opinion that it would only take a month! The big stuff is handled, I'm just stressed right now with all the last minute details and need him to take responsibility for the things he swore up and down to me he would.
2007-03-20 10:08:41 · update #1
oh, sorry, to clear things up, the wedding has been planned over a year, its his opinion that it would only take a month! The big stuff is handled, I'm just stressed right now with all the last minute details and need him to take responsibility for the things he swore up and down to me he would.
2007-03-20 10:08:44 · update #2
and I'm in here because I'm stuck bored at work for another 45 minutes and can't do anything else, otherwise, believe me, I would DEFINETLY be out taking care of business.
2007-03-20 10:10:28 · update #3
Have you tried crying? I mean, I don't mean to be shallow, but it's going to be like this for the rest of your life. When the kids are overbooked and you run them around from 3 until 5:30, he'll come lookin' for dinner instead of offering to help. When you're having your first Thanksgiving Dinner, he'll decide he needs to get the oil changed in the cars...it'll go on and on, and he'll never get it until you bust out crying like you're going to have a nervous breakdown. Give it a shot. He'll respond...
2007-03-20 09:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by just browsin 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Most guys do not get involved with the wedding planning, they don't care. They want to know where to be, what date to be there, what time to be there, and what to wear there. Oh, and what's to eat there....they don't care at all about setting up bars, groomsmen gifts, hotel rooms (except the one he'll be in with you...LOL), and on and on and on. It's not that he doesn't love you, and doesn't want to be married to you, it's that in his mind there is a HUGE difference between a wedding and getting married.
Isn't there someone else who can do all this stuff for you? Outside of the gifts, of course, anyone can get the bar stuff set up, anyone can call and set up hotel rooms (that should've already been done, btw). Call your bridesmaids, your parents, his parents, etc. Make a list (from all your post it notes) and delegate away. Make sure you know who you've asked to do what. People should be more willing to take things off your plate right now.
And as far as being stuck at work right now, your employer isn't going to find much difference between you not doing your job while doing this, and not doing your job while booking hotel rooms....so get the hotel rooms booked.
And tell him for me, the baseboards can wait. Or....he can spend his honeymoon working on the house and have all the baseboards he wants. ;-)
2007-03-20 10:11:34 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's too late to try and explain the importance of the wedding. I can say that I too am planning a wedding and my fiance really hasn't done anything...but I am ok with that. The best advice I can give you is to see if a bridesmaid or your mother can help out with the last minute things. You may even want to include his parents. Sometimes they feel left out since it's not their daughter that is getting married if you know what I mean.
2007-03-20 09:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by ljoc421 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it relies upon on your travellers. I, in my view, might have a no longer hassle-free time attending a marriage that starts off at 5:00 on a Friday because of the fact i don't get off artwork until eventually 5:00 and then i might would desire to pass abode and alter earlier going to the ceremony. some people won't be waiting to/prefer to take day without work from artwork to attend a marriage. And if every physique needs to commute an hour or 2 to get to the marriage and that they artwork on Friday, it is going to reason issues. As on your acquaintances no longer having jobs, a lot of them would and in the event that they only started (which may be genuine in the event that they graduate from college in would or June), they could no longer be waiting to take off any time from artwork on account that maximum companies have a coverage of ways long an worker needs to artwork there earlier taking trip (many times approximately six months). while you're set on a Friday wedding ceremony, don't be disenchanted if people can not make it. If that is extremely important to you that all people your travellers attend, you will desire to in all risk think of approximately doing a Saturday (or perhaps Sunday) wedding ceremony.
2016-10-01 05:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by fryback 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you should have been on his case for weeks now, why wait until the eleventh hour to try to get him do a month's worth of planning in one day? If it were me, there'd be no way in hell he'd be going on a two day (or overnight) bachelor party in the first place and definitely not since he hasn't done his portion of the chores. Tell him to get his @ss in gear, forget the damn baseboards and focus on the tasks at hand or he can stay home Thurs and Friday and do it then! You better start putting your foot down now or he'll be walking all over you during your marriage. Good luck.
2007-03-20 10:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's a man, he thinks he is taking care of the important stuff. They see everything a whole lot different then us girls do. My advice, the weddings going to happen whether all that stuff is done or not. So, try to find something to do for you! It's your day and you should be able to relax and enjoy it. (He sure is)
2007-03-21 01:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by Lady M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's ok, calm down, it'll work out and everything will fit into place. There may be little things that might not be right - you'll be the only one to notice tho, don't worry.
Just try to relax and remember why you're ggetting everything ready - to marry your best friend! be happy about it and remeber that this should be a celebration of you two and not a start of a fight! also try explaining to him (nicely and patiently) that you are very stressed out and could he please do (insert task here) for you so that you will be relieved?
God Bless!
2007-03-20 15:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make a honey do list and give it to him with the ultimatum of getting it done by the party or nix the party! But then welcome to the world of MEN!
My next best suggestion would be to network your friends and family, make a list, break it down and hand it out!
Good luck darlin, it sounds as if you're gonna need it!!
2007-03-20 11:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wont get him to understand that. why would you plan a wedding in one month with so many formalities. We planned our wedding in 2 months, but we had a very simple, traditional, mexican wedding. No hotel reservations, no bar, none of that. We organized the church date, the hall, decorations, food, and music. What more could we want. I loved my wedding.
2007-03-20 10:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I rarely ever here of a groom who is actually involved with the wedding plans.
2007-03-20 09:58:01 · answer #10 · answered by mitsugirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋