I am in a friend with benefits type of relationship. Everything was going really well until he decided to have a long conversation about how he is not ready for a relationship. (I am not ready for one either) A couple of days after the conversation he started acting all wierd. He is calling me in the morning when it used to be just at night(hello its a booty call), asking if he can come over and just cuddle with me, he is saying he doesnt want to lose me and that he cares about me. I thought this was just sex. He is sending me mixed signals and I need help figuring out what is going on with him. Please help. I s he falling for me or just playing games to see if I will fall for him?
2007-03-20 09:39:13 · 10 answers · asked by troublz1984 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
...sigh...we're not confusing. We're actually so simple that it seems like we're confusing when we're actually not. Confused yet? OK, here's what happened: he had the long conversation to see if you'd bite and do what he thought 95% of women would do in this case: suddenly be catapulted into clinginess and try to initiate something serious with him. You didn't do that. So now (because we're guys and that's how we're wired), he knows you could take or leave a long term relationship and now--of course--he thinks he wants one (or is still trying to get you to want one) because he thinks you don't.
You've got three options, depending on what you want to do: (1) keep it a booty call - then just have it out with him and explain what you're feeling openly: you want to keep it casual... (2) if you want the relationship - start seeing someone else romantically (not sex, just dating/dinner) and let the booty call know...it'll drive him NUTS and you'll probably be able to move in with him after you star torturing him... (3) you want to keep it a booty call but keep your options open - escalate the clinginess and get possessive, and suddenly he'll be Mr. Cool again.
Unfortunately, I've learned that even though men know it rationally, we always want what we can't get. God help us all.
2007-03-20 09:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i have to say that this is CRAZY becasue im going thought the same thing right now but what im doing is i just go along with it and tease him and my guy isnt the type that calls and tells me where he is either so he makes it hard and we dont go to the same school so im always trying to keep tabs on him but like if he wants to go all the way i wouldnt go that far unless you were going out because you dont want him to just think that you guys can be f*** buddies you no because like that wouldnt be good bnut then on the other hand just keep talking to him and dont let him go and just take is slow if neither of you are not wanting to get into a relationship.!!! good luck
2007-03-20 16:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by tropical_sweety2587 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is the thing, he doesnt want a relationship with you, but he doesnt want anyone to have one with you either. Now that he knows that the “talk” was done and that he now knows that you are not ready for a relationship either, he is going to give you just enough to make you think that there possibly will be something there, relationship wise, someday soon. He wants to make you want him, fall for him, love him, whatever it is that guys do, he wants to know that he has accomplished making you fall for him and now you will want that relationship with him which will give him the upper hand of, “Now she wants it but I don’t so she will do whatever I want, be there whenever I need her to be, etc.” Trust me, I was in one of those for a longggg time, its not fun at all and it hurts. Good luck!!
2007-03-20 16:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Its only me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like games to me or then again, maybe he's just as confused as you about his feelings. Nothing cleans the air like straight forward conversation.
2007-03-20 16:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by J.C. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he starting to fall in love you... like at first it was just about the sex but now he probably realizes how much he needs you...
2007-03-20 16:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by Suya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is in love girl, i have had the same types of relationships... guys dont want to b used. so iether u like him for more than a practice guy, or leave him alon cuz talkin to him wont help.
2007-03-20 16:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by billybobjo4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he brought up the conversation to see how you were feeling. It could be either/or really. I can see why you are confused.
2007-03-20 16:43:22 · answer #7 · answered by Jen_n_TX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like hes trying to start a relationship to me.
2007-03-20 16:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by Tazz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't know what in the hell he wants.
2007-03-20 16:42:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably just want some so i wouldn't go with him
2007-03-20 16:44:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋