What can i do to make his sister like me?

Question

When my boyfriend and i first got together his sister, her boyfriend, my boyfriend and me were all best friends. inseprable pretty much. it stayed this way until about two months into our relationship and then i turned into the devil. I thrive on making sure others are happy i always put her first. She doesnt like her food to touch so when se come to the house to eat i make sure the spagetti noodles dont mix with the sauce just for her. and thats just the begining. She thinks that i control her brother. But its not me its just the fact that he is growing up and maturing and not wanting to go out every night and party. I've never done anything to hurt her or lie to her. But yet she still hates me finds a way to make my life a living hell. I've made myself misrable trying to keep her happy. Why cant she just see that we are in love and her brother is happy and her be happy for him?? I've tried everything what more can i do to keep her happy??

Answer 1

You can't make anyone happy. People who are unhappy with their own lives, and who are steeped in anger attempt to control everything outside of themselves, especially other people. It starts with controlling how their food is served..then controlling other people thinking it will make them happy.

An example is,, since her brother will not "party" with her and her boyfriend, you become the natural target. But really you are innocent. You have done nothing. You can choose to continue to allow her to disrespect you or you can form a healthy boundry, by first telling her brother, your boyfriend, that you can no longer tolerate her blatant disrespect and abuse ( because it is abuse ), and that you plan on telling her that unless her behavior changes radically, you will no longer, out of self-respect, be hanging out with her. Hopefully he will support you. BUT leave open the opportunity for her to apologize for her behavior, although do not expect an apology ( she may not have enough insight to see her behavior for what it is ), and get on with your life without her in it, AND be happy.

Answer 2

Its normal, the protective instinct. She is jealous because she is sort of "losing" her brother and you were the one who took him away. Her love for her brother will not go away because they have been together for decades, she has only known you for some odd years. Give it time and I am sure she will come around.