have been with my bf for 2.5 months(i'm 21, hes24)I am his first gf in 2yrs When we first met i knew he really liked me.We hung out quite a bit at first,about 4 times a week.he took me to meet his parents & friends in the first few weeks.evrything was going great,but now i barely see him,hes ALWAYS out with friends and he drinks quite often.we live about 30 min away,and only i have a car.he really opened up to me one nite and told me how his ex cheated on him(i can tell this reallyhurt him).The amt of time we spend togther has been really bothering me.I see him once a week and we are usually with his friends or his parents.I talked to him last nite abt this and he was being very understanding but said whenevr hes changed for a girl shes screwed him over,so hes scared to get hurt again then he started to get kinda angry and said he wants space!He kept telling me last nite how much he cares about me.I know hes under ALOT of stress now,what should i do now???how do i give him space?
2007-03-20 09:16:17 · 11 answers · asked by kimmy_717 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let him call you. Back off a little. Be receptive and open to communication but do not initiate contact. He will be begging at your heels in a few weeks. 2.5 months is a very short relationship you are still getting to know each other. Men at that age do not like to be persued they like the chase. He may not be ready for an exclusive, intimate relationsip at this time. Hang out and have fun. I'm sure he likes you plenty but that is not a committment. Don't be too serious about anything at this point. You are 21, go out and explore. See what's out there. Make lots of friends. Keep an eye on his drinking and partying. If it becomes excessive he could become a loser. A 24 year old not having a car will also make him feel bad.
Take care,
Jen
2007-03-20 09:32:41 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not realize that you are still quite young, and I don't mean immature. Although you have only been dating this guy for 2.5 months, you are already considering him your "boyfriend". But then, he takes you to meet his parents, which is usually a good sign that he really likes you and wants his family/friends to meet and get to know you. Because of how great things went in the beginning, you assume that things can only go up, but he is acting like things are going too fast, and giving excuses of being hurt before. I wonder what was meant by him when he said whenever he has "changed" for a girl, he's gotten hurt? What change would he have to make? Usually when a guy says he needs space, he is really saying, the girl is putting demands on him that he isn't ready or willing to make, such as spending more time with you, etc...If I were you, I would give him lots of space, meaning do not call him at all. If he has any interest in you, he WILL call you, and you can respond then. If you really want to see what his intentions are, do as he asks, and he will respect that you listened. Meanwhile, you are free to do as you please, and give yourself a time limit as to how long you will wait for him to have had enough space to figure out if a relationship is what he intends on. Good luck to you. That's why I said you are young, if this guy doesnt turn out to be what you expected or hoped for, you WILL have plenty of other opportunities.
2007-03-20 16:50:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like maybe you like him a little more than he likes you. I would totally understand this if he was 21 and you were 24, but considering its the opposite and he has already been in a relationship, he should know better. He wants to be with his friends and not with you. Some guys like to have a girlfriend just to say they have one. The whole spill about how he doesnt want change because he is afraid of getting hurt is BULL. He spent all that time with you in the beginning why wasnt he afraid of getting hurt then?
2007-03-20 16:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by Neni 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all he drinks quite a bit sounds to me like he might have a drinking problem. Do you really want to deal with that? do you know what that mean? it means that his buddies and his drinking will always take first place.... always.... it means that this hurt mumbo jumbo he is giving you is pure B.S. yes he could have had a relationship that was bad but that doesnt mean that the next person should pay for it... Worry about yourself not his stress or his hurt he has to deal with that and while you are at it try to take care of your needs and see if he is really what YOU want not what you think you need. He will not fullfill you needs only you can do that for yourself
2007-03-20 16:23:27 · answer #4 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't really need any space, just talk to him about the situation. Explain to him you feeling, and try to show them. Take him out, and probally tell him something you kept away from others, try to open up. Let him know that you are there for him no matter what, and you won't every hurt him. Make it a promise, and tell him face to face, 1 on 1. Go out to dinner, or for walk together.
Hope it helps. Good Luck!
2007-03-20 16:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well to me it seems like he wants it his way. He knows that you will call and want to see him. He just wants to be a free spirit you either need to just not call or talk to him maybe even not even see him. Just ignore him until he calls you and when he does finally call you. Make sure you tell him that you are just doing the same thing he was and see what he has to say about it. He may not like it too much but it is a way to give him a reality check. And how much stress can he be under honestly? Does he have a job and bills to pay or does he live at home and go to school? Sounds to me that he lives at home and goes to school. But that is just my opinoin. You just need to not "speak" to him until he calls you. I know it will be tough at first but if you let something go and it comes back you know its your for sure...Just remember that.
2007-03-20 16:24:00 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to think about if anything has changed in the 2.5 months that you have been with him. Have the two of you had sex yet? Sometimes things change once two people are intimate with each other.
2007-03-20 16:22:47 · answer #7 · answered by benz s55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ignor him for awhile. Let him think things through. Spend time with your friends and let him come to you. Stop chasing him. you might be the rebound girl so prepare for that.
2007-03-20 16:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by masterzuaba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't sound to me like he is really ready to be in a committed relationship. Move on...plenty of fish in the sea.
2007-03-20 16:23:32 · answer #9 · answered by malemute1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he dotn want no space he jus wanted somethin to argue about that always happen. sorry to tell u but maybe he is ****** otha girls i mean that is a big possibility
2007-03-20 16:21:05 · answer #10 · answered by Diamond n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋