ive been happily married to my husband for 3 yrs and we have 2 beautiful daughters. he is 10 yrs older than me and slept with a lot of women before he met me(he reckons about 50) but he is the only man ive ever slept with. this has only started to bother me lately (probably as i just had a baby before christmas and have been hormonal!) im worried that i must be rubbish in bed, although he says im not and i also worry that i missed out on getting more sexual experience by getting married so young. i love my husband and girls so much and i would never dream of cheating on him but i just cant get these stupid thoughts out of my head!!
2007-03-20 09:13:13 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should be deeply honored and respected for protecting your virginity. You are a rare breed and a woman that should be deeply admired by all. Believe me when I tell you that getting additional experiece would have provided no additional value and likely only caused you grief. I am sure there is a part of your husband that deeply wishes he would not have had all those meaningless relationships. Your insecurity concerning your experience is natural but merely in your mind. If you are simply responsive to him and encourage him as a man believe me when I tell you that you will constantly remain the most attractive woman to him. Primarily, good husbands work hard to please one person in their life. Their wife. Husbands love to be encouraged. We also love it when our wives are responsive to us. That is all I would suggest. God bless your marriage.
2007-03-20 09:29:50 · answer #1 · answered by Paul K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm - two sides to this problem.
The first is your lack of confidence about how good you are. Well he chose you didn't he? He could be out there now with someone else, I mean he's obviously not bad looking if he's managed to get all those other women into bed right? BUt he's not, he is with you and he married you because you are th best he has ever had. And not just in bed - so you might not be as 'hot' as some of the girls he loved and left but he stayed with you and there is a reason for that. Good sex isn't about just the putting together of bits or the 'exotic' stuff you see in magazines and on adult films its the glue that holds two people in love together - the more you love each other, the better it is - even if you're not swinging from the chandaliers in a wonder woman costume every night.
The other problem is how you feel you might be missing out. I can understand that. I've had a lot of partners butI think I might feel I'd missed something if I hadn't when my partner had But let me let you in on a little secret - they are not that different. They are all willies - big, small, thick, thin. And they all pretty much do the same thing. What makes the difference is that man they are attached to. You are lucky - you found a good man right away - trust me, there is nothing else that another man could do better or even that much different for you than the man you've got in your bedroom tonight.
Hope that helps a bit.
2007-03-20 09:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how many women he had before you, he chose you to sleep with for the rest of his life! And him being the only man you have ever been with is saying something great about you, it makes you special in his eyes.
If you need advice on how to try to heat things up, go online, find a position that you've never tried before, or even just go out and buy something really sexy to wear bed.
You are probably just hormonal, I'm pregnant now, and my husband had been with around 30 women and is only 26 years old... so I know how you feel!
Relax and try not to dwell on it!
2007-03-20 09:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself, if it were not for your husband having so many sexual partners in the past would you still be thinking that maybe you lost out? I feel you are only feeling this way because of your resentment of his past sexual experiences and since you have not had any prior to your marriage, you somehow feel cheated. He got the virgin, you got a man that had many women. This is what is bothering you. . As this in itself would be disturbing, if he is a good husband and father to your children and is faithful to you, then you should just leave the past where it belongs, and that is in the past.. Your husband obviously loves you, he married you. Remember this, the grass in not always greener on the other side.
2007-03-20 09:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my guy is ten years older than me and had a lot more experience and had kids when we met and i was worried a little too about the whole sex thing.
but what i have come to realise is, it doesnt matter how many women they had before they met you its how many thehad after they met you.
and by the sounds of it you are just like me in that department, he has never been with anyone else. partly becuse he loves you to bits and partly because its not about sex.
when you're with the one, the connection runs so much deeper than sex. it feels like you are just one when you are together, and experience cant provide that feeling only true proper love can provide that fulfilment.
hope thats answered your dilema a little bit
take care x
2007-03-20 09:40:56 · answer #5 · answered by laneyb_1983 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband had so many before me!!?
2014-12-16 14:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling a bit `mumsy` at the moment, it happens.
Your husband chose you instead of all those other women.
Forget about the other women, they are of no concern to you.
Forget about having missed out on other men its quality not quantity that matters.
Enjoy your husband and family.
2007-03-20 09:23:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend used to be a man whore. He was never really in a relationship and he slept around a lot. The way I see it is he must really love me and I must be the bomb in bed because he chose me to be with over all of those other girls. Feel confident that he chose you!! There is a reason he's not with the other ones.
2007-03-20 09:16:46 · answer #8 · answered by i_love_nosfednks 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave his past in the past and learn not to think about it so much. It was your choice to marry him without having more experience with other men so it's best to appreciate him and let it go. Whatever you do, don't ever cheat on him. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. It's the worst thing you can do to your spouse.
2007-03-20 09:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by Joey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is with you. Men and women....50......well have heard it say it is a bit like having a meal......done and forgotton until hunger strikes again. These girls are not with him now not married to him and not the mother of his children. He wants you.......he has far more with you than with anyone else. Believe what he tells you. You are special.....sex is not about being equipped wtih a bag of tricks it is about so much more with in a solid relationship. Explore things togehter....do not ever go down the road of worrying how you compare please....he is yours.
2007-03-20 09:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋