One parent is Jehovah Witness, one is non-active religious....... what happens to kids. (live with JW)?

Question

Parents are separated.
Parents live with me. What happens if I become a JW, and the father is still religious, but never goes to church, not an active member in a church.
Where do kids go for holidays....... one parent believes in "normal" holidays such as Christmas, and the other would not believe in any of the traditional.
What to teach kids....... what happens when holidays roll around.

Leave kids out of religion, or teach them, and completely do away with holidays........
what's a normal solution, that would make everyone happy.

sorry guys. OUR KIDS live with me. Father and I split up over 2 yrs ago. I am considering becomming JW along w/ my boyfriend. Thier father is not really an active member in a church........sorry for the confusion!

Answer 1

Dear Troubled,

I'm glad I didn't see your question until after you added the further explanation.

I pray that you will listen to Jwfacts and Buzz. Please do NOT do this.

My mom became a Watchtower Witness after my parents married and after they had 2 children. They had another 4 children (and I'm 1 of the 4). My dad became a church-goer and I'm so grateful for the fact that he raised all of the children in his church. He was very active but never ever talked about his faith. Mom talked about hers as much as possible and it seemed like she waged WWIII every Sunday.

I remember being told frequently that if I did not become a jw by February 3, 1962 I could not be saved because Armageddon was going to happen that day. The day came and went without incident. Mom conveniently forgot saying any such thing because when it was time for me to go to college she was telling me not to go because Armageddon was going to take place shortly.

Those dates were not published but 1975 was and it is enough to cause a person to say something like this - "Well, Deuteronomy 18:20-22 says that if what someone prophesies does NOT happen then it is obvious that God is calling that organization or person a False Prophet and I should not listen to them." There are times when prophecy can still be unfulfilled however February 3, 1962 is not one of those times. Nor is 1975.

Do not worry about where the kids go for holidays. Worry about where they will spend eternity.

Answer 2

When the adults can't agree, the children suffer. My brother (Catholic) and his ex-wife (J.W.) totally messed up their kids because of the constant fighting over beliefs. They lived with their mom after the divorce, resented her when she stopped Christmas and birthdays, were confused when their father sent gifts at these times. The kids, now 18 and 16, want little to do with either parent and unfortunately even less to do with God. All that was taught to them was that religions cause trouble. If both parents claim a denomination of Christianity, why can't they just leave it at that? Forget about doctrines, traditions and man-made religions. Teach the children that God is Love and Jesus is the Christ and give them some peace.

May God Bless you.

Answer 3

I am a Jehovah's Witness and my husband is not. I was a Jehovah's Witness before I married my husband, so we had laid down ground rules in the event of children. We now have a son and we are standing by our agreement.
We agreed that the child(ren) would attend Christian meetings and assemblies with me and would be instructed in my Bible based faith. On the other hand, my husband will take our child(ren) to his family's home to celebrate holiday's and birthdays. Holidays will not be celebrated in our home, nor will our child(ren) participate in Halloween, which even my husband agrees is a Satanic ritual. When our child(ren) reach an age of understanding, they will be able to decide for themselves what they want to do. Neither my husband or I will unduly influence or pressure our child(ren).
It is important to understand that in these types of relationships there must be compromise and respect. My husband does not agree with my faith, nor I his lack thereof, but we have to be fair to each other.
1Peter 3:1 tells us "In like manner, you wives be in subjection to your own husbands, in order that, if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives."
By being open to compromise that does not go against my Bible trained conscience, I hope that my husband and son may be"won without a word"
Obviously, your situation is somewhat different. By all means speak to your local congregation elders. They will have more insight into your particular situation than anyone online will. I simply wanted to let you know that while at times awkward, it is possible to raise children with religiously divided parents.

Answer 4

Being a JW is a tough way for a child to grow up as you are made to feel different and isolated from a normal upbringing. I would seriously recommend you consider researching the religion from all sources before converting.

At http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/mentalissues.htm and http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/mindcontrol.htm there is information on some custody cases between JWs and exJWs and child development, and they highlight the danger of raising a child in a religion that promotes conditional love. \

A JW parent is expected to shun their own children if they get baptised and then later are disfellowshipped from the religion. This happens regularly as the children are encouraged to be baptised when they are still minors, and it is estimated that over two thirds of all JW children end up leaving the Watchtower Society later in life. It has huge implications for a young person to realise that they parents will be forced to withdraw their love and shun them for making a different relgious choice.

The Watchtower states
Watchtower 1988 April 15 p.27 What About Relatives?
"It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum. ... Understandably, this may be difficult because of emotions and family ties, such as grandparents’ love for their grandchildren. Yet, this is a test of loyalty to God, as stated by the sister quoted on page 26.”

Watchtower 1963 July 15 p.444 “The wrongdoer has to realize that his status is completely changed, that his faithful Christian relatives thoroughly disapprove of his wicked course and show this disapproval by limiting contacts to only those which are unavoidable…”

Some of my friends have been shunned by their family for over twenty years, one has children that have never seen their grandparents.

Please look at some of the information at www.jwfacts.com to see the history of Watchtower doctrine and see if after knowing both sides to the story that you really want to get involved.

Paul

Answer 5

There is a whole issue of custody in a situation like this. It is too complex for Yahoo answers though.
You say that you are thinking of becoming a JW. I would encourage you not to do that. They are not a trustworthy organization and have lied to their members on so many occasions that it is no longer funny.
I don't hold liars in very high esteem.

Answer 6

With that little religious structure in the house, and with conflicting doctrines, the kids are all but guaranteed to grow up to be atheists.

Answer 7

As you can see from the conflicting answers, I would recommend you talk to the one you are studying with, and to your local elders.

They are the best ones to help you make these decisions.

Answer 8

I beg to Differ. Unlike most christians, the JW's do not baptize babies and force them into their 'cult'. They let their children decide for themselves what they want to be.

Answer 9

i dont recommend joining a cult
why are they with you? they should be on their own...theyre adults.. its their problem Not yours..